- part one -
Sam struck herself with the razorblade for the fifth time that day. She watched as the blood oozed from her arm and then grabbed a tissue to wipe it away. She sat on the toilet seat and watched as little bits of her life came flowing out of her arm. She threw away her tissue and grabbed some more. Pulling down her hoodie sleeve she walked out of the bathroom and down towards the kitchen, but heard her parents fighting as usual so she turned around and walked back into her room. A dark place with very few "happy" things. The walls were plastered with pictures of her favorite band: Good Charlotte. They were black underneath the pictures. There were clothes over the floor and a stand-up mirror that had a crack going right through it, from where Sam had punched it. She flung herself on her bed and started to cry. Then she took out her headphones and turned on her CD. The Young and the Hopeless. She turned on Hold On and sat back and listened as Joel's voice cut in. She stood up, looking for something to do when she caught a glance at herself in the mirror, a tall girl, with big brownish black eyes with black, red, and blue hair. She had her eyebrow pierced and her lip pierced. She had some tattoo's and was planning on getting more when she moved out on her own which would hopefully be when she turned 19. She usually wore black and for this people hated her. They pointed and stared making their comments as she passed alone. She was what you can call an outsider.
She turned away from the mirror because she hated herself, she hated looking at herself because she knew the pain it would bring. She felt something trickle down her arm and looked down and saw the blood, she thought she had gotten rid of it but she didnít. She decided she would write a letter to her idols, she got out a piece of paper and a pen. And wrote:
My name is Samantha Goodman, most people call me Sam, or Sammy. I just wanted to write to let you know that I love you guys and your music. You inspire me everyday to move on with my life and not to let go, even though it is hard to stay here when my life is the way it is. I am 18 years old. I know you guys probably donít like reading about my problems but I do need to tell someone before I go. I do not fit in. at all. Everyone hates me, my dad drinks...a lot and he hits me. My mother is usually out, she pretends she cares but I know the only reason they keep me here is money. I had to let you guys know at least that I love you all. I have thought long and hard about what im going to do. And I know now that it is the only thing left for me to do. I do hope you read this letter, but if not. I will rest assured that someone could have known. Love always,
She reread her letter many times and finally decided it was right. She wanted to post it right away so she folded it up and walked out the back door with Hold on still blaring in her ears from being on continous play. She posted it and then started to short walk home. The air was cool and damp, but Sam didnít notice. She was thinking about what she would do. She was going to wait for 3 more weeks then she could be sure the letter was there and maybe even get a reply back, but any way it happened she was going to finally be happy.
The weeks passed and so did Sam's hope. She had checked the mail everyday since she posted her letter and nothing only bills ever came. So her mind was made up, the only people she thought would care...didnít care at all. She was going to do it Friday. After school on Thursday she went to check the mail hoping for some last thing to make her happy, and there it was. A letter addressed to Sammy Goodman. She took the mail and for the first time in several weeks she smiled as she ripped open the letter. To find :
We know how you feel. Hold On, were on our way.
The GC guys!
She put the letter away, she was so pissed. All these weeks and that was all she got? She didnít exactly know what the letter meant, nor did she care anymore. She went to bed that night still pissed off and thinking about that letter.
The next day in school, everything went the same. People laughed, People stared, said their nasty comments but today Sam shrugged it off, knowing it would all be over soon. When she got home, she was walking to her room and her father stopped her and started hitting her and punching her saying "You were the biggest mistake" and "I hate you Samantha" but when he stopped Sam looked at him and smiled and said, "I love you dad" and turned and walked away leaving her father staring at her. She walked into her room and then walked into her bathroom. She closed the door and looked at herself in the mirror for a while. Then she laid some towels on the floor for when she fell, she wouldn't fall hard. Then she looked at herself for several minutes and took out some of her best razor blades. As she began cutting herself, she thought about everything that happened in her life and it only made her cut harder. After about 20 minutes of cutting she had succeeded. She felt her life being swept from her, cut after cut. And as she looked around herself one last time, she fell. But before she reached the floor, the bathroom door burst open and she fell into the arms of Benji Madden.
When she woke up, she heard the sound of beeping so she figured she was in the hospital. The last thing she remembered was falling. She struggled to open her eyes and whispered, "What happened?" Then she heard, "You tried to commit suicide. We got to your house just in time. We brought you here and now they said you'll be better in a few days." Sam looked around and saw Benji. She gasped,Ē Benji? Is that you?" Benji laughed and said, "Yea, itís me." Then she looked around and saw Paul Thomas, Billy Martin, Chris Wilson and Joel Madden. She asked, ďWhat are you guys doing here?" Benji said," We got your letter, wrote something back real quick and followed your address and got here in time." Sam didnít know what to think or say. She was mad at them for not letting her go. Things would never be the same again. Tears started to slowly run down her cheeks and then she heard, ďSam, Were going to help you get through this. We are going to bring you home and come by everyday and talk. ďChris said. Sam said, "Thanks guys but what about the tour, your fans and your families?" "Well our fans can wait and im sure they wonít mind, as for our families well we donít see them that often anyways. We want to help." Billy said scratching his chin.
The days went by and soon Sam was released from the hospital. The guys were going to bring her home, help her get settled in and then come by her house everyday and call. When they got there they all helped walk her in and her father saw them and said, "Where have you been young lady? Out with these street punks?" Sam just hung her head waiting for the next comment. "Excuse me sir, but your daughter was in the hospital for attempted suicide!" Benji said sounding annoyed at her father. ďSuicide eh? Well Sammy why didnít you just go all the way with it? It would have been doing the whole world a favor." Her father replied as her slumped off for another beer. Sam started to cry and Joel hurried over to her, holding her in his arms he told her everything would be okay. Benji went over to Sam and told her that they werenít going to leave her there and to go get her suitcase. Sam smiled a little and walked pass her father who was now standing in the doorway, gapping at what Benji just did. She walked to her room grabbing two suitcases, filling one with pictures, cd's, her cd walkman and make up and an extra pair of sneakers. Then filled the other one with clothes. Locking her door on the way out she walked down the hallway towards the living room. Benji was still staring at her father who was now watching wrestling and drinking his beer, Joel and Chris hurried over to Sam and took her suitcases for her. Billy and Paul helped her out of the house, shortly after followed by Benji who slammed to door so hard a picture inside fell off the wall and cracked in two. They went back out on the bus and Billy showed Sam around. He told her not to be shy and to make herself at home. Sam felt like she was intruding and just taking up space so she asked him, "Are you sure its okay for me to stay here? I feel like im just taking up space." "Donít feel like that, you are allowed to stay here for as long as you want. We have an extra bunk, itís under Benji's bunk though, hope you donít mind."
Sam smiled and said, "Not at all."
Over the next few weeks, Sam was feeling more at home. The guys were making her feel welcome. Since she was now living with them, they went to concerts. Sam was allowed to come to all of them, and she went to most of them, sitting backstage. One particular show, Benji called her out on stage. She was nervous and confused, but she slowly made her way out there. Benji came over and grabbed her hand and pulled her over to where he was standing before and said," This is Sammy Goodman, She's 18 and will hopefully be touring with us for the rest of our lives. She is a very good friend of ours and I would like to tell you a bit about her if she donít mind." Sam said she didnít mind at all and that he could tell them anything. He told them about her life, and her being suicidal. He also mentioned how they had saved her and were now helping her get back on track. When he was done the whole crowd applauded and Sam found herself smiling, and glad she hadnít killed herself that night.
When they got home, Billy, Joel, Paul and Chris went to bed but Benji had a shower and stayed up a little bit. Him and Sam were watching TV, they watch MTV Cribs with Beyonce. After about a couple hours they were tired and went to bed.
The next morning everyone was gone to an interview besides Billy and Chris. Chris was still asleep and Sam was up talking to Billy. He was playing video games and Sam was watching. "Hey Billy, I heard you have a girlfriend." Billy smiled and said, "Yea I do, her name's Linzi. "Well Iíd like to meet her sometime." Sam said. "You might be able to, she's coming here in a few days." He finished. He got up, turned off his x-box and was going to get a cookie when Chris walked out. "Hey Hey Luda!" He said laughing. Chris looked at him and said smiling, ďShut Up Hamster Boy!"
The day passed and as Sam was growing to love living on the tour bus and was also developing a big crush on benji. He was one of her best friends and she felt she could tell him anything. One day as they were all hanging out watching a movie the phone rang. It was for Sam. Benji handed her the phone and she answered it, ďHello?" "Samantha Alexander Goodman! Where have you been?" It was her mother. How did she find her here? "Mom? How did you know where I was?" "Never mind that young lady. When do you plan on coming home?" "Im not coming home mom. I am with some really nice people, who like me. Im staying with them for a while, no matter what you say, im not coming home." And with that Sam hung up on her mother. Hoping she would never contact her again.
One day while out in a big park walking with benji they passed many security guards. Sam wondered why there were so many in a park and benji wondered too, so he went up to one and asked him. He said that "there was reports of murder in the park. There were many trees in the park and a lot of paths, so it was possible for him or her to be anywhere and to be on the look-out." benji was alarmed that there would be murder's in a park, but kept on walking. They started walking down a big trail with lots of trees and they were talking more about benji's life and then Sam's life. Suddenly Sam heard a gunshot and looked around quickly, not realizing that it had hit benji. She heard him fall to the ground and looked back and screamed, "benji! Oh My God! Someone Help me!!!" As soon as she said it there were about 7 security guards running towards her and one of them was already on the phone calling the ambulance. Sam was holding benji in her arms, she didnít know where the bullet had hit him, but there was a lot of blood, even though she was getting her clothes and hands full of blood she didnít let go of him until the ambulance arrived and pried her off. She rode in the ambulance with benji, still holding his hand as the paramedics tried to see where the bullet had hit him.
When they got there, Sam had to wait outside until to doctors patched Benji up and until he was stable. Sam used that time to call the other guys and they said they'd be right there. After about 25 minutes, the nurse came out saying that benji was asking for her so she walked in. She saw benji and he was hooked up to several machines but he looked okay. He was lying in bed, but he was awake. He looked at Sam and said, "Are you okay?" Sam nodded but asked him the same question. "The doctors said the bullet grazed my chest, thatís why there was so much blood. I'll be okay in a few weeks, they caught the guy who did this I think." Sam couldnít help herself, she started to cry and then hugged benji. The door burst open and all the guys ran in. They all ran up to benji asking him what had happened and he told them the same thing he had told Sam. Only 2 people were allowed to stay with benji overnight so Joel and Sam did. The rest of the guys went back to the bus. Joel fell asleep in his chair, but Sam stayed up almost all night, holding benji's hand. She woke up in the morning still holding his hand but her head was rested on the side of the bed. She looked up and saw benji was still asleep. She walked over to Joel who was reading a magazine and asked him if he wanted anything at the canteen and he said he wanted a decafe coffee. She got water for herself and some apple juice for benji when he woke up because she knew it was his favorite. When she walked back in, benji was sitting up in his bed having a thumb wrestle with Joel. Sam laughed at them and went over and gave benji his apple juice. He drank it and said thank you. Sam went to the bathroom and over heard Joel and Benji talking. "Benji, She stayed up all night, holding your hand. I think she likes you." "Naw, She is just really nice, she did that? She must be tired now then." "Benji, You know she likes you, and I think you like her too." Benjiís cheeks went red and then Sam smiled and walked out through the door.
Joel went out for a while and Benji was talking to Sam and he said, "I heard what you did last night, thank you. You must be really tired now. Why donít you try and sleep." Sam looked at him and said, "it was no problem and im really not that tired." Benji smiled and hugged her, but when he pulled away he also kissed her. She looked at him for a minute, smiled and then fainted.
Posted: 01/09/2006 08:15:15pm
Updated: 01/09/2006 08:15:15pm
- part 2 -
When Sam woke up she was lying next to benji in the hospital bed. She got up and went to get more water. When she came back in benji was sitting on the side of his bed. "The doctor said im allowed to go home" He told her. Sam smiled and said that was good. They had to postpone a couple of shows while benji was getting better, but tried to do as many as they could. One day Billy brought Linzi over. Her and Sam were talking, "So, I heard you and benji are going with each other now." Linzi said to Sam. "Yea we are seeing each other. How long have you been with Billy?" She asked. "About 7 years, we never get to see each other but its okay, he wants me to come on tour with you guys but Iíd never be able to do it." Linzi replied. "It isnít that hard, Why wouldnít you be able to do it?" Sam asked. "Because, I would be traveling a lot and I wouldnít get a chance to go to the mall very often." Sam was confused at her answer, ďIt donít matter to me if I go to the mall or not, just as long as im close to them." Sam said as she nodded her head towards the guys who were fighting over the last cookie.
Sam wasnít sure if she liked Linzi all that much. She wasnít sure if she was in it for the money or just Billy, but Sam knew it wasnít her place to ask him about it.
The weeks went by and Sam was as happy as ever, her mother hadn't contacted her and Sam and benji were going out. They were real happy together and Sam thought she had everything. On April 12 it was Sam's birthday. She didnít expect the guys to remember, she told them once, but she didnít mind if they didnít remember. She got up and noticing it was 10:30 she got out of bed and went to the bathroom. The bus was still quiet so Sam figured everyone was still asleep. She walked out into the TV area of the bus and then heard, "Surprise!" They had remembered and they were all standing there, Paul was holding her cake and the rest of them were holding presents. Benji went over to her and kissed her and said Happy Birthday, she sat down and the guys brought over her presents. Paul gave her a new pair of converse. Joel gave her a guitar. Billy gave her a laptop, Chris gave her an awesome collection of CD'S. Benji's present was a lot different, she looked at it for a second then opened it. It was a promise ring. She looked at it and gasped and Benji said, "I promise you Sammy, Me and You will be together forever. I want to keep you forever." Sam smiled and hugged and kissed him. The guys started laughing and Sam forgot they were there and turned red and said, "thanks for the presents guys, you really didnít have to do this" "It was our pleasure Samantha." Paul said handing her a chocolate cake.
Benji took Sam out to a movie for her birthday too, Gothika. Neither of them had seen this yet but they both wanted too. They decided to walk there and walk back. Benji loved the movie and so did Sam, but he fell asleep during the end of it on Sam's shoulder. Sam hated waking him but the movie was over. While walking home, Benji gave Sam his MADE jacket because she only had a t-shirt on. After about 10 minutes she noticed Benji only had on his t-shirt and was shivering, so she gave his coat back then.
When they got back to the bus, the rest of the guys were asleep but Sam and Benji weren't tired. They stayed up, ate, talked and played cards. While talking Sam asked, "Benji ,Can I ask you something? Itís kind of personal but itís been bothering me for a while." Benji laughed and said, "Sure, I mean it canít be that personal can it?" "Well maybe it is, What happened the night your dad left?" Benji's smile went immediately off of his face but then he looked down and said, "Well itís kind of a long story, but Iíll tell you if you really want me too." "Yes I want to know." Sam answered. Benji looked at her and began, "On Christmas Eve, Joel, Me and mom were making cookies, the snicker doodles I love and he was a business man, so he was in his office. He didnít really ever come out, only for meals and sometimes to watch TV. Joel and I had noticed some tension between mom and him for a while but we didnít say anything. He came out of his office with a large suitcase, we figured it had one of our bigger gifts in it so we didnít ask him what was in it, but he said he was going out for a while and again we thought it was for last minute Christmas shopping. We all went to bed that night, happily thinking about the next morning. I awoke to mom crying, I woke Joel since we shared a room and went out into mom's room to see why she was crying and we found her sitting on the edge of her bed, which was still made. We asked her what happened but she didnít reply, then we noticed dad wasnít there, we asked her where dad was she just shrugged her shoulders, crying harder. By that time Josh was awake and he came out to see what was wrong. Me and Joel went out into the living room to see if he was out there but all we saw were heaps of presents, we didnít care about those gifts then though, all we cared about was finding dad." Benji's voice was cracking but he cleared his throat and went on, "Sarah had awoke and when she saw mom crying, she started crying. I noticed Joel was sobbing so I went over and hugged him and said it would be okay. That day we didnít open presents. After mom had calmed down a bit she tried to get us to open some but we refused and we could see her heart wasnít in it. She was on the phone several hours, calling around places to try and find him but after every time she hung up she looked at us and slowly shook her head. Well that day was probably the worst day of our lives and a couple months after that me and Joel tried to contact him. We found his name and number after the new phone book had come out and called him, we were still really mad at him for leaving us. We asked him where he was and when was he coming home, but he just said that he was trying to start over and not to contact him again. We never tried again after that because we hated him too much, we also didnít tell mom about that call, because we knew it would only break her heart more."
He was finished telling Sam and he looked back at her and saw that she was wiping tears away from her eyes. "Donít worry about it Sam, We've moved on and we donít even think about him anymore." Sam smiled and then they went to bed.
The next day the guys had a big show in Pennsylvania and once again, Sam went. She was sitting backstage and the guys had a 15-minute break. Joel, Paul and Chris went to get a quick shower and Billy fixed a broken guitar string and tuned up his guitar. Benji went backstage with Sam and was drinking water. He was talking about how wild the crowd was. "This one girl tried to take the guitar from me when I was crowd surfing" he said laughing. Sam laughed and then he had to go back on stage.
About a half hour into the show after their break, the music stopped and Sam looked around to see what had happened. Then she heard, "Sammy will you come out here?" She wondered why he wanted her to come out but she went out anyway. Paul hurried over to her, smiling and brought her over to where Benji was standing. Then benji did the unexpected. He got down on one knee and said into the mic, "Samantha Alexandra Goodman, Will you marry me?" As soon as he said it, the crowd started screaming, crying and applauding. Sam didnít know what to do, all she could do was nod her head and whisper, "Yes!" Benji smiled and Sam looked around, she looked out into the crowd, some of them were shocked and crying while some of them were still applauding. All the guys came over and hugged her and congratulated her. Then Benji hugged her whispering for the first time, "I love you Sammy" She looked at him and told him she loved him too. Benji said, ďThis next song is dedicated to my fiancée, Sam. Its called Wondering." The producer brought a chair out and Sam sat down. Benji looked at her and started softly singing wondering to her and thats when Sam knew everything would be okay.
After the show they all went home, got a shower then celebrated. They stayed up until 4 and then went to bed. The next morning Sam woke up thinking everything that had happened was a dream but then she looked down at her finger and saw her ring and she smiled because this was real.
She got up looking for Benji but only found a note it said,
We had to go to an early interview, Be home later love ya lots.-Benji
She smiled and got some breakfast. After she ate she cleaned up the bus from the night before and then sat down to watch TV. A little while after she heard a knock at the door so she answered it. There were two girls there, one with blonde hair and was tall and the other had black hair and was also tall. Hello? What can I do for you?" Sam asked "Hi, Were fans, were here to see the guys, are they home?" The blonde girl said looking over Sams shoulder. No there not home right now." Sam replied "well can we come in to wait for them?" The black haired girl asked. Sam was confused, none of the guy's fans ever asked to come in. "Im sorry, You cant." The blonde haired girl said, "Well if you arenít going to let us in, were just going to have to let ourselves in." Sam got scared so she shut the door and locked it. Then she heard pounding on the door and one of the windows. She didnít know what to do but she thought she was safe inside the bus, when the door burst open and the blonde haired girl ran in and attacked her. Sam was taken by surprise and then the girl started hitting her. The blonde haired girl was running around the bus stealing stuff and putting it into her backpack. The black haired girl was really beating Sam up, she had already cut open her lip and was punching her in the stomach and kicking her at times. The black haired girl looked away for a second and Sam punched her in the face, knocking her off of her. Then Sam ran, out to bus door and down a small road. There were a lot of trees and she thought she could hide behind one, but the girl was on her tail, right behind her. Sam tripped up and fell down and then the girl pounced on her and hit her in the head with a rock, knocking her unconcious, then she dragged her by the tree and left.
When the guys got home, Paul noticed the door of the bus was opened and the curtains were ripped down so he told the guys to hurry up and come with him to look around to see what happened. When they walked in their bus was totally trashed. Benji started yelling, ďSam!! Where are you!!! SAMMY!!!" He was searching franticly everywhere on the bus. Billy, Chris and Joel ran outside to look while Benji and Paul looked inside the bus. After about 5 minutes Benji heard Billy yell, "Sam! Benji! I found her! Sheís hurt!" Benji ran out of the bus as fast as he could and ran over to where she was. He saw that she was beaten badly and bleeding in several places. Joel called 911 on his cell phone and soon the ambulance was there. Benji rode in the back while the guys drove there in their car.
When they got there the doctors let Benji come in and watch while they cleaned her up. They wiped off the blood and gave her stitches and told Benji to tell her when she was awake not to move around too much or her head. The rest of the guys stayed out in the lounge over night while Benji stayed with Sam. Watching her breathe all night making sure nothing happened to her. The next day Sam still hadnít woke up. The doctors said it was because she was hit in the head and was knocked out.
Sam awoke a couple days later, she was in the room by herself. She thought about what had happened and wondered why those girls wanted to hurt her but she hoped they hadn't taken anything really valuable from the bus. Then Benji walked in and saw she was awake. He went over to her, grabbed her hand and said, "Iím so glad your up Sam. The doctor's said you got hit really hard in the head. Can you tell me what happened?" She looked at him and said, "I was cleaning and then I was watching TV and two girls knocked on the door. I answered it and they asked for you guys but I said you werenít home, she asked to come in and wait and I didnít think you'd want that so I said no and then I locked the door but they broke the lock and came in, and beat me up, and then stole some of your stuff. Im so sorry Benji, Iíll repay you for anything they took, I promise." Benji smiled and said, "Donít worry about it, the only thing they took that was valuable was your ring." Sam didnít know that her ring was gone and she looked down at her finger and started crying. "My ring! oh my god! Im sorry Benji!" He said, "Look its not your fault. Those girls had no right to do this, were going to find them." he hugged Sam and then the doctor came in. "Sam, I see that your up. Well you can go home if you like because we were only keeping you here because you werenít up yet." he said, checking the monitor she was hooked up too."Yep, Everything's fine here, your free to go Mrs. Goodman."
When they got home, they decided they would drive out of Pennsylvania because they didnít think it was safe anymore for Sam. They drove to Indiana, they had a show there in a couple weeks anyway. Joel told the driver to go to 104 Evergreen Terrace. Benji asked him why and he said, "My friend Amanda lives here. She was like my only friend besides you guys. I told her I would come back for her because we kind of had a thing going on ya know." Benji laughed and said he remembered her now. When they got there, Joel went in and combed his hair and opened the door of the bus to get off. They all walked up to her door and Joel took a deep breath and rang the door bell. A tall girl with brown hair answered it. She was wearing a GC hoodie with black nickers. She saw Joel and started screaming, "Joel!!! oh my god!!!!" then she jumped in his arms and started hugging him like crazy. He smiled and hugged her back.
After she had calmed down a bit she welcomed them into her house. She hugged everyone else in the band and was just introduced to Sam and Chris. She was so happy that Sam and Benji were getting married and she thought Chris was really cool. Joel was telling her how they met Sam and Chris when he stopped and asked her where her parents were. She looked down and said, "They kicked me out, Now im living here by myself and they pay the bills. ďJoel was shocked, "why did they kick you out?" "They said I was to out of control, I was really mean to them and they caught me trying to commit suicide a lot." Benji was now listening and he asked her why she tried to kill her self and she said, ďWell after Joel left I was really depressed and mad at everyone. I didnít think he'd ever come back because I though him leaving town was a sign that we were over. I thought Iíd lost him forever." Joel went over and hugged her and said, "No Amanda, You'll never loose me." He wiped away the tears that were forming in her eyes and then saw her hoodie. "I see you've been supporting the band, Thanks!" She smiled and said, "I love your band! I've seen you on TV so many times. I tried to support you any way I could." "Well your doing a good job." Billy said
After they finished talking, Sam and Amanda started talking. "Im really happy you and Benji are together. I was hoping that Joel and me could get back together but I donít know if that will happen now. "she said. Sam thought about how Joel acted before he went in the house and said, ďyou never know what will happen, I think you too will be together again."
She smiled and said, "thank you. I hope that does happen." Sam figured it would. Joel was talking to Benji and he was thinking about asking Amanda to come live with them on their bus.
They were staying with Amanda for the next few weeks until their show. One day Amanda told them about an amusement park that was coming and they decided to go. Joel, Paul, Chris, Billy and Amanda went to ride the big rollercoaster while Benji and Sam walked around. Benji won her a teddy bear, She called it Madden. They got on different rides until they had no money left. They went home, watched TV for a bit then went to bed.
The next day it was raining. They stayed inside to wait for it to stop. Amanda and Joel were talking in the kitchen. Billy, Paul and Chris were playing video games and Benji and Sam were on Benji's laptop looking up pictures of Good Charlotte. "Amanda, We were wondering if you'd like to come live with us on the bus. Im sure Sam would love it and so would we. "Joel asked Amanda. She looked at him and got up and ran to her room crying. "Amanda! Whatís Wrong?!" Joel ran after her but stopped halfway up the stairs and turned around to see everyone there looking at him with confusion spread across their faces. ďWhat happened Joel?" Benji asked. "I only asked her to come live with us, I thought it was what she wanted." he replied. "Well can I go talk to her?" Sam asked. "Sure, if you think it will work." Joel said walking down the stairs as Sam passed him to go and talk to Amanda. Sam knocked on her door and heard Amanda's muffled cries. Then she heard the door unlock and she saw Amanda standing there. "Can I come in?" Sam asked. Amanda motioned for her to come in and Sam went in and sat on the bed and asked, "So, Whatís wrong?". Amanda went over and sat by her and said, "Sam. I love Joel, I always have and I donít think he knows it, and I do want to go so bad but I feel like im not good enough for Joel. He has an awesome career and I donít even have a job. ďShe finished wiping away tears that were steadily flowing down her cheeks. "Donít say that Amanda!" Joel was standing in the doorway, "You are good enough for me and well. I love you too and like you, Iíve loved you ever since we split up." he walked over to her and kissed her. Amanda hugged him smiling.
Posted: 01/09/2006 08:15:35pm
Updated: 01/09/2006 08:15:35pm
- part 3 -
Joel and Amanda were together again after many years apart. Sam and Benji were also making wedding plans. They were having their wedding on Valentines Day. They were going to have it back in Waldorf. In the church where Benji and Joel were baptized. The bridesmaid dresses were black with red. But Sam's dress was going to be the traditional white one. Samís maid of honor was Amanda, since they had met they had become best friends. She was walking up with Joel. Linzi was walking up with Billy, Robin Madden(their mom) was walking up with Paul, Sarah was walking up with Chris and Josh(their brother) was walking up with his girlfriend, Catherine.
Everyone was happy with their plans and couldnít wait until February 14th.
Sam wanted to show Benji that she was devoted to him forever, no matter what and she wanted to thank the rest of the guys for letting her be happy again. She decided she would get two tattoos. A GC one and a banner with Benji M. in it. When her and Amanda got there, Amanda got a heart with a banner going through it saying Joel Madden. Sam got what she wanted. They went out for something to eat and when they got home Sam said, "Guys, I wanted to show my thank you for everything you've done for me, so I got this." She showed them her tattoo and they were all fasinated and said it was no problem helping her. Then she walked over to Benji, took hold of his hands and said, "Benji, I love you with all of my life. This may not mean much to you, but im hoping it will show you how devoted to you I am. "She showed him her wrist which held the banner that symbolized her love for him. Benji smiled and then said, "Sammy, this means everything to me. You mean everything to me. Thank You." Then he kissed her. "Amanda has something she wants to show you Joel." Sam told him after. Amanda walked up to him and pulled up her shirt and showed him the heart above her bellybutton that said Joel Madden. He smiled, and said, "Thanks, This is awesome."
The guys had their show and Amanda and Sam went as usual. Everything went great but Sam noticed that Benji was looking a little bit sick and out of it. During the song the Day that I die, Benji's guitar stopped and he stopped singing. Joel looked over at him in time to see him fall down to the floor. Joel ran over to him and got down on his knees. He turned Benji over and saw that he was unconscious and sweating badly. The guards closed the curtains on all the screaming and crying fans. Sam and Amanda ran onstage. Billy Paul and Chris were looking at Benji. Sam was on her knees yelling for him to wake up. Joel was gone to call someone for help. The guards told everyone it was a joke and while doing it Benji broke his guitar strings, they told them that there had to be a half hour break and not to worry. Meanwhile, Joel went in the ambulance with Benji. When they got there Joel asked the doctor what was wrong with his brother and he said, "Benji is suffering from lack of sleep and a little more stress then he can handle, with bed rest and a few days off of work, he'll be as good as new."
They were all so relieved that Benji would be okay. Benji was awake and back onstage in about 40 minutes. The fans screamed when they saw them back onstage. Benji said, "Thank You guys for waiting so patiently and i'm sorry if the joke affected any of you in anyway possible, and for us wasting your time were gonna play for an extra hour. "They all clapped and cheered and then they started playing the day that I die again.
The show ended without anymore problems and as soon as they got home Sam and Joel made sure Benji got to bed and they took a couple days off so he could rest.
February 14th came and so did the wedding. Benji and Sam were as excited as ever. Everyone was dressed and ready to go. Everyone walked up and then it was Sam's turn. She walked up by herself, she didnít even try to get her dad to walk her up because she knew he would refuse. She had her white dress on and her black, red, blue, purple and pink hair tied up in a braided bun. She looked up at Benji who was wearing a tuxedo. He had a pink flower attached to his chest and his hair was put down because he didnít wanna have his Mohawk up when they got married. Everyone looked great.
"Do you Benjamin Levi Madden take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife. For ever and ever until death do you part.Ē The priest asked Benji. He smiled, looked at Sam and said, "I do." Then the priest said, "Do you Samantha Alexandra Goodman take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband. For ever and ever until death do you part." Sam also smiled and looked at Benji and replied, "I do." "By the power vested in me, I know pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss your bride. "The priest said. Benji leaned in and gave Sam a kiss. Everyone clapped. Sam was so happy, the man she'd loved for a while was now her husband.
That night their dance was awesome. Benji and Sam's wedding song was Walk by. After the dance they all went home and went to bed.
The next day Sam awoke with Benji's arm still around her. She turned to see if he was awake and she saw he was and he smiled and said, "Good Morning.Ē Sam smiled and replied, "Good Morning to you too."
They got up and ate breakfast and stayed at home the rest of the day with the other guys and Amanda.
It had been a long time since she contacted her family and she figured they should know that she was married. She called home one day. Her mom picked up, "Hello?" "Mom? Its Sam." Sam heard the TV in the background. "What do you want." her mother replied. "Mom, I just called to tell you im married and I wanted to know how you and dad were." "Well Iíll be okay but your father isnít." she said. "Why? Whatís wrong with him?" Sam asked. "Samantha your father died. He got in a car accident, Drunk Driving. "Her mother finished and Sam could hear her quietly sobbing. "Dead? When did he die? "Sam asked crying. "He died on February 9th but I buried him on the 14th." "Oh my god! Why didnít you call me? That was my wedding day!" Sam said sitting down and crying uncontrollably. "Well you told me not to contact you again Sammy. "Her mom hung up the phone leaving Sam sitting there shocked. She flung down the phone and ran to her bunk, closely followed by Benji. "What happened? "he asked her. "My father died in a drunk driving accident." she replied. Benji hugged her and told her he was sorry. Sam stayed in her bunk all that night and the guys and Amanda kept coming in to check on her. Sam had a dream that night, she dreamt that she was 4 again and her father was pushing her in a swing at the park. It was when they were happy. Sam awoke in cold sweat and sat up and started rubbing her head. Benji heard her and got up, "whatís wrong Sam?" he asked quietly Sam just cried and told him about her dream. He held her and told her everything would be okay.Chapter 9
After a while, Sam was starting to get over her father's death. She didnít know why she loved him when he hated everything about her.
One day she got up, noticing Benji wasnít there. They were staying in a hotel for a while, she got dressed and went looking for him. She was walking pass the lounge when she thought she saw someone that looked like Benji so she looked again. She saw Benji there and another girl, they were kissing. She stood in the doorway and said, "Benji? What are you doing?!" Benji looked up and said, "No! Sam! Its not what you think!" Sam started crying loudly and ran outside under a big tree. Benji was chasing her yelling, "Sam! She is just my old friend. Thatís all" "Old friends kiss like that Benji?" Sam said wiping her tears. "No they donít Sam. I donít know what happened. Iím sorry." Benji said coming closer to her. Sam stood up as tears still poured down her cheeks. She pointed to the banner with Benji M. on it and said, "You see this Benji? I love you and I thought you loved me too. Those things just donít happen like that. You were the only person I could ever trust, Why did you do this?" Sam ran back into the hotel with Benji screaming after her. She ran into the apartment then ran into her room and locked the door and Benji started banging on it. "Let me in Sam. Iím sorry!"
Joel and Chris were the only ones in the hotel. Benji was still banging on the door after 2 hours then he stayed by the door talking to her, "I love you Sammy, You know I would never hurt you like that." Sam was still crying and she fell asleep with her head in her hands.
The next day, Sam awoke to more banging on her door. She had enough. She opened the door and saw Paul there. "Can I come in?" he asked. "Sure" Sam answered. Paul asked her what happened and she told him everything. After about an half hour they had to go to another show. Sam was going to go as usual but she wasnít going to talk to Benji.
It was an awesome show and there last song was "Say anything" Joel asked her to come out on stage again. She didnít want to but she didnít wanna make a big scene in front of everyone so she walked out and her and Benji's eyes met. There was a chair out there and Sam sat down and Benji said into his mic, "Recently Me and my wife had an argument and she will not forgive me. I've tried all I can think of but not Iíll sing this song and hope she will forgive me and realize that I love her and only her" He finished and cleared his throat and started singing, "Here I am on the phone again and... awkward silences on the other end. I used to know the sound of a smile in your voice but right now all I feel is the pain of the fighting starting up again. All the things we talk about you know they stay on my mind, on my mind. All the things we laugh about will bring us thought every time, after time, after time. Donít say a word I know you feel the same if you just give me a sign, say anything say anything. Please donít walk away. I know you wanna stay. if you just give me a sign, say anything, say anything. Some say that time changes, best friends can become strangers but I donít want that no not for you if you just stay with me we can make it though. So here we are again, same old argument. Now im wondering if they will ever change yea. when will you laugh again, laugh like you did back when we made noise till 3 am and the neighbors would complain. All the things we talk about you know they stay on my mind, on my mind. All the things we laugh about will bring us through it every time, after time, after time. Donít say a word I know you feel the same, just give me a sign, say anything, say anything. Please donít walk away, I know you wanna stay if you just give me a sign, say anything, say anything. Im falling, Im falling, Im falling down. Donít say a word I know you feel the same. Just give me a sign say anything, say anything. Please Donít Leave." he finished and looked at Sam. She smiled and got up and hugged him and said, "I love you Benji. Iím sorry for acting like that."
Benji and Joel's birthday was coming up and Sam and Amanda went to the mall to buy them something. Amanda bought Benji a big CD player and a gold bracelet for Joel. Sam bought a necklace and a laptop for Benji and a new pair of sneakers for Joel.
When their birthday came they loved the gifts. Billy bought them a pack of good guitar picks and a new microphone. Paul bought Benji a new trucker hat and Joel some make up and shoes. Chris bought Joel a new CD collection and Benji a new Rancid hoodie.
One day Amanda came in with a big smile on her face. "Why are you so happy?" Sam asked her. Amanda showed Sam her finger and she saw a big diamond ring glistening there. "Oh my god! Congratulations!" Sam said hugging her. "Where's Joel?" "Out there, we were eating dinner and then he asked me!" Amanda said. Sam walked out the door saying, "Congratulations Joel." She hugged him and he smiled.
Their wedding was going to be on April 12th. She was just going to have a traditional wedding, her brides maid dresses where going to be baby blue, Joelís favorite color.
There was a VMA award show coming up and the guys were nominated for three awards. Sam thought they would win at least one but neither of the guys expected to win one.
Drew Barrymore and Ben Stiller announced the award for "Veiwers Choice Award" Good Charlotte won! Benji wanted Sam to come onstage and accept it with them but she didnít want too. Her and Amanda were so happy for them. The guys did an acceptance speech and thanked everyone.
Posted: 01/09/2006 08:15:44pm
Updated: 01/09/2006 08:15:44pm
- part 4 -
The young and the hopeless tour was coming to an end. The guys were going back into the studio to make another album, and neither Sam or Amanda couldnít wait to buy it. It was April 2nd and Amanda and Joel were getting ready for their wedding, Sam was going to be the maid of honor.
One rainy day, Billy stormed though the door, his hair was all wet and matted down and his clothes were all soggy, his make up was running down his face from the rain. He went into the bathroom and locked the door. Paul went to the bathroom door and knocked on it and said, "Billy? Whatís Wrong?" Billy said in a rough voice, "Nothing." None of them were convinced. Billy stayed in the bathroom and everyone kept trying to get him to come out but it was useless. The next morning they woke up and Chris walked out in the TV area and saw Billy lying on the couch still in his wet clothes and his make up still all over his face. "Should I wake him up and ask him what happened?" Chris asked Paul. "No I donít think we should." Paul replied. Billy woke up a couple hours later and sat up. "Billy, You wanna tell us what happened?" Benji asked. "Me and Linzi are over. Thatís all." He replied pushing hair away from his eyes. "Why? "Sam asked. "She said I didnít pay enough attention to her and I like the band more then her, which is true." Billy replied taking off his shirt and going into his suitcase to look for another one. "Well are you okay with this?" Benji asked. "Well Iíve thought about it a lot and even though I will miss her, I think its for the best." Billy replied. Amanda hugged him and said, "Donít worry Will. It'll Be okay." Billy smiled and said, "I know it'll be okay and donít call me Will."
Billy seemed okay, even though he had some bad days. Sam knew it was going to be hard to be married to Benji and Amanda knew too, but she thought Linzi was stronger then that and somehow felt bad for her because she knew she missed out on a great future with Billy.
The guys had a couple more shows until the end of their tour and their last one was the best one Sam and Amanda had ever went too. They played for an extra hour and they had twice as many fans there. After they had sung all their own songs, they took requests even if they werenít their songs. At the end of the show they stayed and signed autographs for everyone who wanted them even though it took about three hours.
The wedding came and Joel was so nervous and excited but Amanda was just excited. Neither of them could wait. "Do you know how many girls and maybe even guys want to be in my place right now?" Amanda asked Joel before they left to get ready. "I dunno but do you know who I want in your place right now?" Joel replied smiling. "Hopefully just me!" Amanda replied smiling. "You got that right skipper." Joel said hugging her
The wedding went as planned and when Amanda left she was no longer Amanda Anderson she was Amanda Madden. Joel and her were extremely happy and both of them felt very lucky.
The guys were away a lot more now since they were making their CD. Amanda and Sam were by themselves a lot more but they were okay with it. Sam heard a couple songs from it and she loved them. Benji was working on some lyrics but he would never let Sam see them. "Why cant I see them?" She often asked and Benji always replied with, "Its a surprise. I promise you'll see them soon." Sam didnít have any clue to what they were. Sam and Amanda spent a lot of time playing video games or out shopping. There were even times when fans came up to them and asked them for autographs and they were only too happy to do it for them.
Sam only got to see Benji about 2 hours everyday, and it was the same thing for Amanda. When Benji did get home they usually went out or just hung out together. One night when he got home she asked him if the CD was almost done. He said they had to record a couple more songs and they would be almost done then. Sam was surprised at how fast they had done it. They were still unsure of a name and they were thinking about putting some extra footage on it.
A couple weeks later the guys came home earlier then expected. Benji handed Sam and Amanda a copy of the CD. They were so excited. They thought it would take at least another month. The front of the cover had all 5 guys in a big group hug and the words "Get Real" around them. Sam turned it around and looked at the back. There was a picture on each of them in the studio. There were 13 songs and as Sam glanced at them she saw that number 9 was called, "Sammy's Song" She said, "Benji, Why is number 9 called Sammy's Song?" "Surprise." He said smiling "This is what you've been working on?" She asked. "Yep"He replied. Sam went over hugged and kissed him and said thanks then sat down to listen to it. She turned on her CD walkman and turned to number 9.It was the most beautiful song Sam's ever heard. Benji wrote it to her, thanking her. When it was over she said,"Thank you Benji. I loved it." he looked at her and said, "No problem."
So their CD was out and they were going to begin another tour in a couple weeks.
The guys, Amanda and Sam went to the beach one day. Amanda and Joel went swimming. Chris and Paul were talking to some girls and Benji and Sam were walking down the beach. Sam was thinking about what would have happened if she committed suicide that night, "Something wrong?" Benji asked grabbing her hand. "No, I was just thinking." Sam answered. "Thinking? About What?Ē Benji asked. "Well I was thinking about what would have happened if I committed suicide or if I never wrote you guys that letter." Sam finished "Well letís just say my life would only be music now" Benji smiled.
Sam turned around, looked at the rest of the guys and Amanda and smiled. She was so happy. She looked back at Benji and they kept walking down the sandy beach, towards the horizon.
Posted: 01/09/2006 08:16:01pm
Updated: 01/09/2006 08:16:01pm