Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> Avenged Sevenfold >> The Only Hope For Me Is You
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Sink Or Swim
By Hallie Vengeance
I sat with my porcelain legs tucked under my thin, brittle body and ran a brush through my
chocolaty brown hair. I sat back against the wall as I began to think about all that has happened in
the past six years… I lost my family, my friends, hell I had lost my whole life. I was
currently in a mental institution in southern California. I was admitted for a simple evaluation
that turned into a long stay here. I found out that I am Pathologically Psychotic from Dr. Barker,
the main doctor here. He had a nice smile and had recently told me to address him by his first name,
Zack. I jumped and sighed as I heard his soft knock on my wooden door, “Come in…”
I spoke just loud enough for him to hear me and I smiled softly as he entered the colorless
“Hello Areal, how are you feeling today?” He smiled as he spoke, but I could
hear the weariness in his soft, velvety voice.
“Drugged, sad, and still
crazy…” I figured out not long after arriving that being brutally honest was the best
way to help me. I sat on the edge of the full sized bed and let my legs dangle over the edge as he
sat on a large black leather chair across from me at my writing desk.
“And why do you think you feel sad?” His inquiry was completely innocent, but tears
burned behind my eyes as I answered. `I'm not sure… Maybe because it feels like I've been
abandoned by my family and friends?” I sighed and looked down, knowing my tone was snappy.
“I'm sorry you feel that way about your family. After being here as long as you have, I'd
miss my old life too… But as you know, you haven't improved for a long term leave.” He
sighed softly as he sat the notebook he was recording our conversation in aside and leaned forward,
touching my knee softly, “I'm sorry.”
I nodded and bit my lip as I swiped at the
tears that began to run down my face, “I know Zack, I just wish she would call sometime, you
“I know, and I'm so sorry.”
I nodded once again and closed my eyes, after a few years I began to feel an episode as it hit me.
I didn't speak as my head fell into my hands, gently stroking my temples in pain and unhappiness in
general. He didn't speak, knowing what was happening; he had seen it many times. I saw myself
straddling him, a large shiny carving knife in my small hands; I was slicing at his ribs, a
lighthearted grin on my face. I gave out a menacing laugh as he screamed in agony, I plunged the
knife deep into his stomach, down to the hilt. I broke out in a grin as I slid down his body,
removing the knife and hacking at him piece by piece. As the vision ended I curled into a small ball
on the bed, pulling my favorite blanket over myself as a form of comfort.
Zack noted my reaction in his book and looked at me in concern, “Do you want to talk about
it?” I shook my head and he nodded softly, I never wanted to talk about my episodes, I hated
that they happened in the first place. They didn't happen to others, why did it have to be me? Why
couldn't I be normal? I sighed and curled my knees to my chest, resting my chin on them comfortably.
They had stopped for a while, but this meant that my medication wasn't working and I would need to
change it once more. He would probably start me on it in a week or two… I wouldn't take
anything in that length of time. It was a pain in the ass to start a new regimen, but it could help
me in the long run so I would deal with it.
“Areal, there's a new medication… It's experimental, but it has had really good
result with other patients like you. I was wondering if you might want to try it.” He spoke
with confidence, as if he knew that it would help me, but I knew that we was as sure I was.
“I'll give it a go…” He nodded and sighed, “You know this could
potentially make it worse right?” I nodded and forced a smile, I wasn't sure anything could
help me anymore… Zack nodded, he knew that I was sure about this. “Alright, I can start
you next Tuesday.”
I nodded once again as he stood to leave. I took in my surroundings for the millionth time. I knew
this room like the back of my hand, but I always seemed to find something different after he left.
He would leave little things, like notes and things, just reminding me that I was stronger than I
thought. This time he left a pink sticky note on my desk with the words, “It gets
better”, written on it and a small smiley face in the bottom left hand corner. He seemed to
genuinely want to help me, but I couldn't be sure it could be my mind taking over and making it seem
I sighed as I closed her door and looked at the notebook, `The poor girl…' I thought as I
walked down the hall to my office. I truly wanted to help her, she was a sweet girl with a nice
smile, and she looked beautiful even after the six years she's spent here. She hasn't left in all
that time, never having a place to visit and not getting a good response with any medication. He
looked over the photo of himself and Areal two years ago out in the yard, both of them with truly
happy smiles on their faces and I smiled at it. It was a nice photo, something I cherished, even
though it was with a patient. I couldn't tell you why I feel so close to her, but I do. She's an
amazing person… Only then did I realize just how much I really cared for her… It might
have been as more than a patient….
I ground my teeth as I swallowed down the new medication, the after taste was horrid and it showed
on my face. Jimmy, the orderly that always brought her meds, laughed wholeheartedly as he handed her
the Styrofoam cup of water in his hands. “I love it when you get new medication Areal! Your
face is priceless!!”
“Oh hush Sully! I always like to see you get new patients, it's much funnier!” I
smirked as I raised a brow and tossed the cup in a trash can at his feet.
“Touch? my dear!” We laughed together and I sighed softly as he walked away, moving on
to his next patient. He was a wonderful man that made me feel normal, sometimes I think he needs to
be locked up in here with the rest of us, but he's kind to us. All of us. I sat on the bed and
stared out her window at the beautiful sunset taking place. I wanted so badly to be on the outside
once again, make friends, have a boyfriend, maybe a husband, a child… It might finally happen
if the new medication panned out as she hoped it would. The beautiful sunset was always her favorite
part of the day, it made her think, about all of the things she wanted, all the things she wished
would happen, the man who held her heart, though she would never admit it to him… She sighed
as she looked away from the window and heard a patient going a little out of control outside…
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The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.
Please see the Terms of Service for more information.