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Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> Avenged Sevenfold >> Some Nights I Stay Up, Cashing In My Bad Luck

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

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There Was A Time When The Pieces Fit,
But I Watched Them Fall Away

By jenn-shmenn

 


I sped down the freeway outside L.A., the speedometer steadily increasing towards 90mph. The skin around my eyes was swollen and tight; the repercussions of crying for long periods of time. My mind drifted away towards the previous day's happenings, and those same tears threatened to spill over and out of my eyes again.

Earlier that day…

I was locking up the back door of the shop when my phone started ringing. I dropped my purse on the ground and kicked my bag a few feet away. `I don't have time for that…' I huffed, trying to pull the door shut and turn the key at the perfect time. I heard the deadbolt slam into place, and I let go of the door, exhausted and angry. I was out of breath from struggling with the door, so I leaned my back against the metal door, and slid down to the ground of the alley. I heard my phone buzz, signaling a missed call, and groaned as I pulled my bag closer to me.

“Who the fuck is bothering me…” I muttered, not wanting to deal with anyone or anything. It had been a terrible day at work; my boss wouldn't quit yelling at everyone, the shop was slammed with business and our shipment order hadn't showed up until lit up the screen and saw that Zacky had tried calling me. Seeing his name on my screen made my night a little bit better, but I still had no strive to do anything. I stood up slowly, and redialed Zacky's number. I listened and waited for him to pick up as I walked to my car and sat inside.

“Hello?? Who is this?!” An angry woman's voice yelled across the line.

My eyes widened with fear, and I quickly hung up. My stomach dropped and my heart started fluttering in my throat. I brushed my bangs out of face and inhaled slowly, trying to calm myself down. `That was a woman! Who was she?! Was he… Cheating on me?' Every question and every thought began racing through my mind, as I sat motionless in the driver's seat, keys in hand. It felt like ages when my phone started ringing loudly again, breaking me out of the trance. I couldn't even bring myself to look at the caller I.D.; I silenced my phone, and tried sticking the keys in the ignition: my hands were shaking so badly I dropped the keys on the floor. The loud jingling sound caused me to jump out of my skin, my heart skipping yet another beat. I started hyperventilating, my mind finally processing the information of what just happened. My eyes welled up, my breathing getting more and more shallow as my limbs and hands continued to shake.

“He's cheating on me!” I yelled suddenly, still inside my parked car. The tears began to stream down my face, bringing every last drop of eyeliner and mascara with them. I slammed my keys in the ignition, violently started my car and peeled out of the alleyway. I sniffled, wiping the ever-flowing tears from my cheeks away as I raced through the streets of Orange County. I slammed the car into park as I flew into my driveway, and ran to my front door. By then I was already sobbing, with each moan shaking and rattling my lungs. I closed the door behind me, slid down to the floor and started uncontrollably weeping; not caring about anything except for my heart that had been shattered into pieces.

I couldn't tell you how long I laid on the floor, crying and moaning pathetically. Eventually I had gotten up from the floor and proceeded to drag myself to the couch. I sat somewhat upright, staring at the television I had turned on: I couldn't focus on whatever was on, my mind constantly drifting. Ultimately I shut the T.V. off, propped the pillows under my head and closed my eyes, floating in and off of sleep for the rest of the night.

It was about 2:30am when I was abruptly woken from my light slumber. Someone had starting banging on my front door, yelling something. I sat up quickly, groggily rubbing my eyes, trying to comprehend what was happening. I quickly scanned my memories and thoughts, still not realizing why someone was yelling and pounding at my door; then I rapidly remembered what had happened earlier. My mind came to a focus, and I was able to listen to the voice that had still been shouting this whole time; it was a man's voice, which made me relax a bit more. As I listened some more, the sleep wearing off, I realized it was Zacky's voice.

“Jenn! What are you doing?? Are you okay? Just let me in!” He continued to knock on my door with a closed fist, shaking the lock each time his hand made contact with the wood.

I couldn't move. I wanted to see him so badly, but at the same time I just wanted him to go away. There was no explanation for that woman's voice at the end of the line, and I couldn't bring myself to open the door for him. `Maybe that's why he's here.' My mind told me, `Maybe he's going to try and explain.' My legs still would not work. My mind was screaming at me, telling me to get up and let him in, but my body wouldn't listen.

I had barely noticed that the pounding on the door had stopped, and I could hear the sound of a key fitting into the lock. I watched the door swing open, as Zacky quickly entered my house. I don't know how, but he had found the spare key I had hidden in my front light. His eyes scanned the dark house, looking for any sign of movement.

`If I just stay still enough, maybe he won't notice I'm here…' My mind tried convincing me. Just as this thought disappeared in my mind, Zacky's eyes met mine. I felt my eyes widen slightly, as he took swift steps closer towards me.

“What are you doing?!” He practically yelled at me. I jumped at how loud his voice was and how harsh the tone had been. My mouth opened in an attempt to say something, but my vocal chords continued to stay shut; allowing nothing to escape my throat.

He just stared at me, waiting for a response. I looked his face over quickly; both his cheeks were pink, and his eyes looked swollen and wet. Had he been crying? Why were his cheeks red?

“…N-nothing…” A small voice had escaped my throat. That's all I could muster up to say. My thoughts had become non-existent, my body wanting to curl up into a ball sleep, hoping this problem would just solve itself. But of course, I knew that would never happen.

“Can we talk about what happened?” He asked, his voice sounding desperate as he sat down on the couch next to me.

Suddenly a blind rage had boiled over inside me, “What is there to talk about?” I hissed, my eyes narrowing as I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

He sighed, his head falling into his hand, “Can you not talk to me like that?”

“Like how? Like you did something wrong? Like I'm scolding you?” I dropped my arms, “Because last time I checked, you did do something wrong.” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

He sighed again, this time looking away and down at the floor before bringing his gaze up to meet my angry stare. “I know what I did was wrong, but please…”

I cut him off before he could finish, “Please what?!” I was legitimately pissed now. “Please don't be angry with me? Please don't be upset? Please let me explain?!” I was borderline delirious and blinded with rage. “Tell me. Tell me, Zack. What do you have to say for yourself?!” I was pacing my living room now, the emotions suddenly running through me like a waterfall.

I watched him as he tried collecting his thoughts, trying to think of what to say. I stopped pacing so I was directly parallel with him, awaiting a response. My hands were on my hips, my foot tapping impatiently on the floor.

Now it was his turn to clam up. “I-I'm sorry… I really am.” He whispered. He sniffed and took a deep breath, “But you weren't the one I was cheating on.” He looked up at me.

My eyebrows furrowed with confusion, my mouth dropping agape. “What?” My hands fell from my hips and hung, heavy at my sides. “How do you figure?”

“I was cheating on my girlfriend with you. I had been with her for years, but when I met you, something changed.”

“We met in a fucking bar. How does that change anything?” I hissed in disbelief. My heart had swollen with sadness and remorse; I had never been the cheater. I had been cheated on, and I knew how that felt. No one ever wanted to feel that way, and I had sworn that I wouldn't let that happen to anyone from my actions. But this whole time, he had been cheating on someone… With me.

“You wouldn't understand!” He pleaded, abruptly standing up.

“Oh, I wouldn't understand!” I had started yelling by now. “I wouldn't understand how it feels to meet someone amazing.” My words had taken an accusatory tone to them now, my subconscious turning defensive. “I wouldn't know what it's like, because I'm not the one in a committed relationship. Or lack-there-of.” I spat.

His eyes widened as he tried to think of something to say. Before he could say his rebuttal, my arsenal of words was quick with another strike ready. “How could you do this? Let alone to me, how could you do this to her? Have you ever been cheated on? Do you know what it feels like? And you made me a part of that.” His eyes welled up, and dropped to the floor. “You neglected to tell me that you were in a relationship and that you were cheating on someone. And by doing that, you made me a part of your mistake.”

With those last words, the tears that had been threatening to spill over my eyelids finally did. “I can't even look at you.” I murmured. “I can't believe you would do something like this.”

“Jenn, please just let me explain!” He was desperate, his eyes even more swollen and red.

“Why?! Why should I?!” I roared in disbelief.

“Because!” He yelled back.

“Because why?” I mocked.

He sighed again, his shoulders rising and dropping. His gaze fell to the floor and then quickly lifted back to my eyes. “Because I really think I love you.” He whispered.

My jaw fell to the floor. You wouldn't do this to someone you thought you loved. A cocktail of emotions bubbled up inside me; rage, happiness, regret, guilt, shame… You name it, I had it.

I stared at him with doubt. “Zack…” I mumbled, “Get out.” I pointed to the door. “Please, just get out.”

“That's what you have to say?” It was his turn to be upset now.

“No, I have plenty of things to say, but I want you to leave.” The tears were spilling down my cheeks again.

“I'm not leaving.” He took a step closer to me, trying to pull me into his arms. I squirmed away from him, not wanting him to touch me. The look in his eyes was heartbreaking; like I was actively cracking his chest open, and slowly ripping his heart out; ventricle by ventricle, atrium by atrium.

Seeing the amount of pain I caused, I turned my back to him as a brand new wave of tears fell from my eyes. I felt his arms close me in an embrace, and I let my body relax against his. `I'm going to miss this…' I thought to myself.

“I'm sorry, babe. I know that words mean nothing, compared to actions, but I really am.” He whispered into my ear, gently tightening his embrace.

“I know you are.” I sniveled, wiping make-up and tears from my face. “But I need you to leave.” I turned around to face him, a frown on my face.

He looked entirely defeated. He silently nodded, gave me one last tight embrace and bent down to plant a kiss on my forehead. I watched him as he walked out of my house, closed the door behind him, and listened as his car started and he drove away.

As soon as he was gone, a whimpering sob escaped my lips and made my body shake with sadness. I looked around for my car keys as I slipped a pair of flip flops on, wanting to get out of this house. Before I knew it, I was in my car, driving away from all the pain I had caused and away from all the great memories that happened in that house. I pulled up to the shop, quickly got out of my car and let myself back into the store. Tears silently falling down my cheeks, I grabbed a pad of paper, a pen and I began to write:

`I'm sorry to do this to all of you. You've been such a great group of people to spend the last few years with, and I hope you can just understand and be happy for me. But this is the last time you will all probably hear from me, I'm moving back out East. There's been something missing in my life, ever since I moved out here, and I've decided to go back home. I'll miss you all terribly, and hopefully our paths can cross again in the future. But for now, Boston is calling me home.
--- Jenn

I signed the note and taped it to my boss's computer, for all to see. I grabbed the small amount of personal belongings I had in the shop, and picked up a slew of empty boxes from the floor. I closed up shop for the last time, slide my door key under the crack and turned to go to my car. All I wanted to do was cry, but my tear ducts were all dried out and empty. I tossed everything into the back of my car, hopped in and sped off towards the freeway. Driving with one hand on the wheel, and my head against my other hand, I took a deep breath and exhaled: I was moving back home, which was exhilarating, but it also frightened me to death.


*
I'm so sorry it took me so damn long to get this up!!! I seriously have had no free time whatsoever these past two weeks, and the story got the worst of it :( But hopefully I really, truly can get back on a better schedule/manage my time better, because the last thing I want to do is let you guys down! But anyways, read and review please! I really, really do enjoy reading what you guys have to say about the story! Any feedback is welcome! And thank you to my faithful readers and reviewers!

-J

 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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