Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> Panic! At The Disco
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We'll be together
He wiped his eyes sloppily and let out another sob. It was over, he was gone. Forever.
He looked up and saw a little patch of sky that was eventually covered by clouds. Tears ran down his
face faster. It was almost like a reminder that his bright spot wasn't there anymore.
It hurt. It hurt so fucking much; he drew his knees up and buried his head in the space between his
legs and his chest and grabbed onto the hair on the back of his head. His chest was burning and he
felt almost like he was being torn apart on the inside.
He didn't know how old couples did it, how they handled one of them dying, especially since they
were usually together for decades before one did. How did they handle their life partner
dying without killing themselves?
That's what he felt like doing now. He wanted to die so bad, to join him wherever people go
after they die. But he left, telling him not to do that, and he'd promised that he wouldn't.
It had happened so fast. One minute he was alive, then he was dying, he was
dying for a few minutes that felt like years, then he was finally gone. He was gone
from the world, forever.
He let out a choked sob and tightened his hands in his hair. He wanted to be alone so that he could
scream. That's what he wanted to do, he wanted to stand up and scream until his throat was raw and
his lungs were empty.
But maybe it was a good thing that it had happened quickly. There were other couples that were
separated by diseases that lasted months or years and they knew that the other one was dying and
that they were going to be parted and that they couldn't do anything about it. Maybe it was better
that he hadn't known.
What would it be like to know that your lover was going to die and leave you alone? What kind of
pain would that be?
Something good about that might be that you both had time to get used to it, you had time to say
goodbye to each other and you knew to cherish each minute.
That's what he should have done. He shouldn't have assumed that they had forever. Or, he should have
assumed that, but he shouldn't have taken for granted any minute that they had.
And now it was all over, he wasn't going to come home tonight to crawl into bed and kiss him
before going to sleep. Now he was going to be alone and he wasn't going to do anything about it. He
would never find someone else because there wasn't anyone else that he wanted.
He wondered again if it would be disrespectful to scream his heart out here in the cemetery, or if
all of them had heard it before and would welcome his agonizing grief with open arms.
There was a tree behind him and he leaned back into it, grateful for its support. He continued to
cry into his knees but he needed support of some kind and no one else was there.
Painful sobs continued to rack his body and his breaths came in gasps that didn't give him quite
enough air. He wondered if the pain would ever subside or if he would be stuck with it for the rest
of his life.
Damn him for making him promise not to kill himself. Did he not want them to be
together again? Did he want to be separated?
He shook himself of the thoughts. He'd spent his last seconds telling him how much he
loved him and that he didn't want him to hurt himself because he couldn't stand the
thought of him being hurt. He said how much he wished they could be together but that
they would just have to wait a while.
He thought of that horrific morning.
He woke up at around ten-thirty in the morning, which was really late for him, to a note that said
that he was going out to the mall and that he would be back later. So he got out of
bed and went to get his breakfast and turn on the morning news. It was a Saturday so he took all his
The news went on like normal until the reporter announced that there was unfolding drama at a mall
in the city.
At that, his heart seized a little and he could feel his eyes get glued to the TV screen in front of
him, his bowl of Froot Loops abandoned.
The screen went to another reporter who was outside of said mall and was telling about a man going
in, walking to the center of the floor, firing a shot through the ceiling, and then began telling
people to get down and to not let anyone in. There were police cars all around the scene and the
only reason they didn't move in was because the man apparently had a main hostage and was holding
the gun to their head.
Everything was silent for a few moments and the police began to creep forward a little with their
snipers trained through the windows. He silently urged them on from his seat on the couch.
Then there was a gunshot and several women's screams from inside. Obviously someone had been shot.
All of the policemen snapped into action and barreled through the doors on all sides.
Somehow the cameraman and reporter were able to get inside and the scene that he was faced with
stopped his heart.
There he was, his body lying on the floor, spilling blood.
He had seen enough, he leapt up and got his keys and ran out the door, not caring that he only had
pajama pants and a thin t-shirt on. He broke every speed limit on his way to the mall and he parked
haphazardly near the back of the parking lot.
As soon as the car was off he jumped out and sprinted to the doors, faster than he thought that he
ever could. He wasn't sure how but he got through the policemen that were blocking the door and
pushed his way further until he was faced with the scene that he'd seen on the TV.
By now there were medics surrounding his body, obviously trying to make sure that he
was comfortable. He wanted to scream at them to do something but he couldn't. Somehow he pushed
through them too; it was probably with a little bit of his help. He probably told them
that he wanted him there.
The medics must have sensed something because they left them alone.
Tears were already running down his face as he picked up his head and put it into his lap
while stroking the hair back from his face.
“Hi baby,” he rasped, smiling a little.
“Don't talk, save your strength,” he answered, trying to keep the wavering out of his
He looked sad now. “It won't do any good.”
“Don't say that,” he said forcefully.
He blinked excruciatingly slowly and looked up at him. “I'm sorry baby, I'm leaving,
it's my time to go now.”
“No! They'll get you to a hospital and they'll make you better. Just hold on,” he
insisted, his vision getting blurry because of the tears. He turned to yell for the medics to come
back and save his love but he touched his arm, making him turn back around.
“It won't work like that, I'm too far gone. But before I go, baby, I have to tell you some
It was starting to sink in and he just nodded while the tears flowed.
“First, don't you even dare think about killing yourself and coming with me, I don't want you
to get hurt, you're much too special to leave yet. Promise me you won't.”
“I won't, I swear,” he said, choking back sobs.
“Second, please don't forget me.”
“I could never forget you. How could you think that I would?” he interrupted.
“Thank you.” He took a breath, “Third, I love you. I love you so much and I
wish that I didn't have to leave or that you could come too. I'm not leaving on purpose, please
understand that. I could never leave you on purpose. I love you, don't ever forget that,
ever. Whenever you feel sad just remember how much I love you.”
“I know and I love you too; I love you so much more than I can say.”
“I know. Don't feel too sad, we'll be together again; we just have to wait a while. And if you
ever need reassurance just come visit me and sit for a while, that will remind you.”
“Okay,” his voice sounded more choked now and the tears continued to run down his face.
“They're here. It's time for me to go now. I'll see you in a little bit. And don't forget, I
love you,” he leaned up and he supported his head as they kissed one last time.
It was sweet and it somehow conveyed exactly what they were feeling and just how much they love each
other. And it lasted until his neck went limp and heavy in his hand.
“I love you,” he whispered, hugging the now lifeless body to him and wailing against its
The rest was a blur, they tried to take his body and separate them more. When he fought back
they gave up and he rode in the ambulance to the hospital where they finally succeeded in separating
them. He sat in the hospital waiting room while they called one of his friends to come pick him up.
When Spencer walked into the waiting room with an ashen face he immediately sat down beside him and
hugged him as tight as he could.
It was a week before he saw his body again, pale and lifeless in a black coffin. He tried to
read what he'd written but only succeeded in standing there and sobbing while William read it for
All of the others, Spencer, Jon, Gabe, Pete, Patrick, and William gave beautiful speeches that he
When the grave was filled he knelt at the foot of it and stared at the turned up soil that was
packed down against the rectangular hole that held his body. They didn't try too hard to move
him and it's where he still was almost three hours later with his head buried between his legs and
his chest, clenching his hair, biting down on screams of pain and sadness.
“Brendon,” a whisper said. Then a set of warm, soft lips pressed right behind his ear.
He looked up and saw him. “Ryan,” he breathed, smiling for the first time in a
Ryan smiled back and kissed him on the side of the neck letting the whispered words,
“Yes,” ghost across his skin.
He shivered, then in a sudden realization he deflated. “You aren't real are you? This is just
my imagination, showing me what I want more than anything in the world.”
“No, I'm real, I'm here. Look,” Ryan pulled him into a kiss and wrapped him in his arms.
He pulled away in a few seconds. “Brendon, I'm really here,” he whispered against his
lips. Then he pulled away to look him in the eyes.
Brendon took a good look at the figure in front of him.
He was absolutely glowing. Wearing his favorite pair of pants with a long-sleeved shirt and a vest
on, not the black suit he'd been buried in. His light brown hair was arranged perfectly around
his head. His face was almost emitting light from somewhere inside. And his eyes were sparkling,
displaying his love. The air around him even seemed to be glowing a little. Brendon choked back
another set of tears. There wasn't a bullet hole in his left shoulder and he was happy to know that
he could look perfect despite his gruesome demise.
Without hesitation he leaned over and rested his head on Ryan's shoulder. It felt so good to be with
him again, to be able to breathe in his scent and feel him again.
Ryan wrapped his arm around Brendon's shoulders, pulling him even closer and kissing the top of his
head. “I love you Brendon, don't forget that.” Ryan buried his nose in Brendon's hair.
“I could never forget that.” A pause, “Is this what you meant by visiting you and
waiting a while and I would be reassured?” he asked.
“I wish it was. Brendon, this can only happen once, you'll have to wait a while longer before
you get to see me again.”
Brendon forced back a fresh wave of tears and Ryan looked up.
“Baby, don't cry. I've never left you; I'm always right by your side. And when it's your time,
I'll be one of the ones to bring you up. Oh, Brendon, it's gorgeous up here, you'll love it. I'm
already making arrangements for you. Shhhh. We'll be together again and I'll always be watching you
and sending my love,” Ryan reassured, kissing him on the corner of the mouth.
They sat together with Ryan stroking his hair and them talking for another hour at least.
“I have to go now. I won't be able to come to you like this again, from now on I'll be
watching you from above and I'll still be with you, just not physically,” Ryan whispered
against the side of his head. “I love you, more than anything. I never stop thinking about you
and I never will.”
Brendon whimpered as he pulled away but he quickly leaned forward and kissed him again on the lips.
“I love you more than life, Ryan,” he whispered. “I will never forget you as long
as I live. And I can't wait until the day we get to be together again.”
“Me either,” Ryan said, leaning forward and kissing him again.
Then he slowly faded away, their lips still together the whole time.
Brendon looked at the headstone in front of him.
`Here lies Ryan Ross. Beloved son, friend, and lover. May he rest forever in peace.'
“I love you Ryan.” He pulled a gold ring out of his pocket and pressed it into the dirt
in front of the grave, finally giving it to the love of his life even if it didn't mean quite as
much anymore. “I'll never stop.”
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The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.
Please see the Terms of Service for more information.