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Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> Avenged Sevenfold

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

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If You Still Care Don't Ever Let Me Know
By Ex&Oh

 


Bury all your secrets in my skin;

The couple sat on opposite sides of the dark and dingy room, bloodshot eyes meeting in intense gazes. They were both wrecked; one by the drugs he lived with, and one by the guy she couldn't live without. It was a toxic relationship filled with love that couldn't mask the pain and suffering the pair shared.

Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins;

She said she would leave him with his demons, but she knew she couldn't. As addicted as he was, she couldn't bear to imagine a life without him. She was the pure one who held their relationship together by her heart strings alone.

The air around me still feels like a cage;

Unable to breathe and part from tears, she watched the man she loved slowly ruin himself. The air surrounding their home seemed to suffocate her, making it harder and harder to breathe. The atmosphere closed around her like thick metal bars.

And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again…

Sometimes she wondered if he realized how angry he could get, throwing things around the house and knocking things over. It made her sick to her stomach to think that his love could be clouded by poor judgment and a fit of rage.

So if you love me, let me go.

Although he never made the attempt, he wanted to tell her to leave. To just move on to a better life. The fairytale life she had always dreamed about when they were growing up. The one where her prince rescued her, and she didn't have to rescue him right back.

And run away before I know;

If she left while he was out of it, he wouldn't have a clue until he came down again. His daily blackouts gave her so many opportunities to leave him behind. Unfortunately, she wanted to save him.

My heart is just too dark to care.

The drugs made everything better. They took the hurt away. The pain. All thoughts and feelings went completely numb with a quick medicated cocktail and a swig of Jack Daniels or the snap of a rubber band around his bicep and the pierce of a needle.

I can't destroy what isn't there.

His hatred for himself grew to an all-time high. Deep down, she saw that his love for her was slowly diminishing, along with the beautiful gleam in his eye.

Deliver me into my fate;

He was aware that traveling down the darkened path, he'd meet a terrible fate. Though, he couldn't stray as his love for the numb grew, and he constantly wanted to keep a steady pace on the path.

If I'm alone I cannot hate.

Her ability to still be in love with him blew his mind, especially when he only showed emotions when it came to his purchases. His bandmates had stopped trying a long time before, leaving him to fend for himself with little help.

I don't deserve to have you…

Knowing that he wasn't good enough for her made him want her to leave more. He wished that sometimes, when he blacked out, he would wake up to an empty home; every picture burnt, none of her clothes in the closet. Instead, he always awakened to his head in her lap, her quiet humming soothing the pounding of his brain against his skull.

My smile was taken long ago if I can change I hope I never know.

He could never return her faint smiles. And even though he hated himself, he didn't want to change. He didn't want to know about it. The one thing he did know was that she would leave him eventually.

I still press your letters to my lips;

And after she did, she wrote to him with no return address. She scented her envelopes with his favorite fragrance. When his lips met the paper, he imagined her soft, thin and parted lips.

And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss;

Every kiss they had shared while he was clean meant the world to him. The last time they had kissed was after she packed her bags, and he watched her walk out the front door.

I couldn't face a life without your light;

As much as he cared about the drugs, he cared about her seven times more. She would always be his guardian angel; his saint, savior, and salvation. He could die in her arms over and over again to have her save him one more time. And he missed her.

But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight.

She had given up on the battle between her versus his drugs. Her internal instinct spelled out that she couldn't win. Her response was to flee. Retreating from the suffering of their relationship.

So save your breath, I will not hear;

He didn't intentionally ignore her. He just pushed it away. He wouldn't hear her, because he didn't want to.

I think I made it very clear.

Obviously, his thoughts registered in her mind. He wanted her gone, to not hurt anymore.

You couldn't hate enough to love;

Drugs were better than anyone else. They didn't ask questions or call him a liar. They didn't demand something from him, something that he couldn't give. Something out of his reaches. He couldn't choose between the ultimate negative or the absolute positive.

Is that supposed to be enough?

Love promised wasn't enough to keep her forever.

I only wish you weren't my friend;

Every picture frame she left was shattered, the pieces of glass scattered across the floor.

Then I could hurt you in the end.

His anger could amass everything; but he could never physically hurt her if she ever came back. He loved her too much. He wished he could break all ties with her.

I never claimed to be a saint;

When they first became a couple, he admitted he had a problem. She just never assisted him in reaching out for help.

My own was banished long ago it took the death of hope to let you go.

He had to kill thoughts of an escape in order to not chase after her.

So break yourself against my stones and spit your pity in my soul;

Sympathy was what she gave him all their years together. She left him a pitiful mess.

You never needed any help;

He wouldn't ask for help. She would try to give him anything.

You sold me out to save yourself.

And when help wasn't enough, she saved herself from a future of torment with a boyfriend who was addicted to narcotics and needles.

And I won't listen to your shame;

Her letters meant nothing. They made perfect kindling for the fire he used to burn all the remains of their relationship; home included.

You ran away, you're all the same

With her gone, he had nothing but the drugs. He could be content, for the most part, with her running off.

Angels lie to keep control;

Promises of forever by his own guardian angel; easily broken.

My love was punished long ago.

She left him alone to finish himself off. An addict against the world, without a chance of surviving on his own.

If you still care, don't ever let me know…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It's not my best work, but I really love the song:
Snuff by Slipknot.

-Ashley, Ex&Oh

 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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