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Anime/Manga Fan Fiction >> Ranma

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

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Nermian Bussiness Man
By David Johnson

 







{Just a few comments, but since the original had line length problems

I'll quote it.}



The Neriman Businessman



I'm a businessman, pure and simple. I've been called a buccaneer in

trade...or was that a pirateer..oh, well, I can be any kind of tier you

want, baby...



OW! Hey, what'd you do that for?! Oh, well, she had a fat ass..never

did like brunettes anyway. You're still here, anyway...whatever good

that'll do, you look like you're living off of videos or something, it's

sickening. Oh, no, nothing. I was just saying how WELL you look today!



Now, as I was saying, I'm a... DAMN kids! That was my best shirt you

just got filth all over! Look at that idiot, with that pigtail...looks

like a girl... I'll bet he's one of those weirdos who are really in

touch with their "feminine" side. That girl who was following him is

man enough for the two of them. Kami, how they raise 'em these days.

In my day, women were demure, sweet young things, now you've got OGRES

running about. That girl ought to be committed. Now, I was having

dinner with my dear, and well-respected friend,who's a high school

principal, very wealthy, posh, up and up, and his lovely daughter was

just EXACTLY like one had in the old days. Quiet, lovely, a perfect

conversationalist, showing interest in what the men did. Why, I was

talking about hunting, and the various deadly darts those barbarians in

Hokkaido use, and she paid very rapt attention, just like a woman

should. I bet that girl there wouldn't know the difference between a

hammer and a table!



Now, where was I? Hmm? Don't be silly, I'm not a privateer, that would

mean I'm out to cheat you of your money! I'm a business man, with a

sweet, sweet proposition for you!



.Kami, does that boy have FANGS?! Don't tell me it's halloween

again... I simply can't approve of all this Westernization. It's

perverting our society. You know, I do believe that last halloween, I

saw at least two cats, a duck, and a little black pig. The things kids

do to contort themselves into grotesque shapes! And what in the name of

my ancestors does that boy need with an umbrella that big?! He's not

looking where he's going, he's liable to poke someone with that thing.

I'm telling you, that umbrella could be used as a dangerous weapon!



Kids these days. Sir, you can just see our society falling apart. Why,

there's just no respect for the old ways! While I was at my friend's

house, you know, the one that's really wealthy and upperclass, a _very_

dear friend, his son, a very noble samurai, destined to carry on the

family tradition, came home bruised and bloody because some ignoble

idiot blocked his courtship of a lovely maiden. Where were the days

when mere peasants had their heads loped off for just speaking contrary



{lopped}



to their superior?! Now, I can't say I approve of not going through a

proper medium, the go-between and what not, but these are modern times,

after all.



What? Ah, yes! My apologies, sir, I get so emotional over the decay of

our society. My proposal is this, a sweet little apartment, cozy for

two, yet comfy for one!, in a nice area of town. The neighboors are a



{"neighbours" or "neighbors"}



lovely little family. A father and two children. The mother is...away

most of the time. Work, I understand. They have a few teeny-tiny

minor eccentricies, but I say those cat ears make the girl look cute.



{Usually Nuku-Nuku's "ears" are invisibly concealed behind her hair

unless she goes into combat mode, when they deploy.)



She's very...full figured, you know, heh heh. And so bright and happy.

only10000yenperday.



Yes, sir, I said only 10,000 yen! Just sign right here! Never mind

about the fine print... that just an insurance policy...Hmm? Ah, yes,

just give me the contract, I'll put it in a nice safe place. I'm moving

to Hawaii, my friend...why yes, the posh one! You remembered! It does

the heart good to know that the youth of Dai Nippon care about their

elders. Yes, I'm afraid I had to move...i couldn't stand the noise,

missiles, and excess number of cats... Hm? Oh, no, I was JUST saying

about how this young society is just wearing my poor old soul down. It

seems like everyone you meet these days is a teenager.



Thank you sir, and you'll be hearing from me soon! sucker... Hm? I was

just saying how much it sucks that I'm leaving this wonderful apartment

to you, though I'm sure you'll enjoy it very much. I have absolutely no

doubt as to the degree of your emotions.



Sayonara!





***



1. The "barbarians" in Hokkaido are the Ainu.



{The Ainu still use poison darts? Well, what do I know. Besides

he's speaking from a universe where tea ceremony can be a martial

art.}



2. I was told Nuku-Nuku was set in Nerima, but I assumed she lived in

an apartment.



I don't know who owns NukuNuku, but Takahashi Rumiko owns the other

crazy Neriman kids.



If I misused, mis-spelled, or otherwise mistreated the Japanese

language, I apologize, and beg ignorance.



{I really liked it. Would that be 10,000 yen a month?

For the record, your guess was correct. Nuku-Nuku does live

in a Nerima apartment building.}

 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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