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The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

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Do You Think I'm Sexy?
By LammyJammy.

 


*A/N: Hello. So in honor of Bob's birthday, I wrote this little thing as ode to him. We miss you everyday Bob. I will always consider him apart of the band. This is obviously just for fun, so just enjoy. Happy birthday Bob and Happy New Year.*

___________

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. You look like an animal and eat like one too." the men sang as Bob rolled his eyes but smiled. It was a dumb ass idea, but it beat staying home and eating Christmas left over's. He just wasn't a 'go all out and get crap faced' all night kind of guy for his birthday. They already made him go to a club.

"Thanks guys. Really." Bob nodded sarcastically as they smiled.

"Well? Make a wish. The cake's not getting any younger, and neither are you." Frank teased.

"Forget you." Bob retorted as he nevertheless leaned down to blow the candles out of the cake that was his personal favorite. Vanilla frosting with custard filling. All in all, he'd say it was a good birthday. Despite the lameness part, it was a decent birthday. It didn't matter too much to him though, it was just another birthday. By the time the cake was half eaten, Bob was ready to go home. He had his beer, and his cake, but the guys wouldn't let him leave.

"We have one surprise for you left." Gerard smirked as Bob eyed them curiously.

"What?" he asked slowly, not fond of the word surprise. Lord only knows what a surprise meant with the guys.

"If we told you, it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?" Mikey smiled.

"Come on." Ray said much too enthusiastically while pulling him up as Bob rolled his eyes, make sure he brought his beer with him while taking a swig from the bottle. They dragged him down the hall into the large living room. There was a chair placed in the middle as he looked at them curiously.

"Sit." Gerard motioned.

"Why?" Bob asked again as they shook their heads.

"Do you not trust us?" Frank asked while pretending to be offended.

"Is that a real question?" Bob retorted as they smiled.

"Never you mind, just enjoy." Frank replied as he gave a thumbs up while the guys nodded at each other before Bob saw the lights dim. He watched them walk away before hearing a slight screeching noise and suddenly a huge cake was being wheeled in as Bob couldn't help but smile.

"Guys..." he said as they laughed to each other and placed the cake infront of him, only a couple inches away.

"We'd figure you'd like it." Frank smiled while Bob shook his head as Frank once again held his thumb up.

"Well, we'll just leave you it." Frank smirked. "Have fun." he sang before smiling as him and the guys walked out, leaving Bob alone with a big ass cake.

He waited for a minute before music started to play through the speaker.

"She sits alone waiting for suggestions

he's so nervous avoiding all the questions.

His lips are dry her heart is gently pounding

don't you just know exactly what they're thinking..."

The words flowed out as Bob watched the cake started to move ever so slightly. He stared with intent eyes as the cake tore at the top and was being lifted as he smiled. The music suddenly stopped as the cake opened fully. Bob studied the figure before spitting out his beer.

"If you want my body and you think I'm sexy

come on sugar let me know.

If you really need me just reach out and touch me

come on honey tell me so.

Tell me so, baby." Jimmy sang as he sauntered out of the cake, of course he was dressed in what one could only imagine. Bob watched with shocked eyes as Jimmy waved his hand femininely while strutting.

"He's acting shy looking for an answer,

Come on honey, let's spend the night together,

Now hold on a minute before we go much further,

Give me a dime so I can 'phone my mother,

They catch a cab to his high rise apartment,

At last he can tell her exactly what his heart meant.

If you want my body and you think I'm sexy

come on honey tell me so.

If you really need me just reach out and touch me

come on sugar let me know." he sang once more as Bob took a sip of his beer and shook his head at all the mental images popping into his head involuntarily.

"Please...stop." Bob said politely as Jimmy only smirked before jumping on the table and wiggling.

"If you really need me just reach out and touch me!

come on sugar let me know.

If you really, really, really, really need me

just let me know

just reach out and touch me, mmm

If you really want me

just reach out and touch me

come on sugar let me know

If you really need me just reach out and touch me

come on sugar let me know

if you, if you, if you really need me

just come on and tell me so!" Jimmy sang louder while dancing on the table, glitter falling onto the wood surface while continuing to sing loudly as Bob had finally had enough of the booty shorts.

"Okay! Enough!" Bob said as Jimmy stopped singing.

"What's the matter Bobert?" he asked with a smirk as Bob shook his head and huffed.

"You assholes!" he shouted as he heard Frank's infamous giggle down the hall.

"Did you enjoy the show Bob?" Mikey asked curiously as Bob glared at them.

"What the hell is this?" he asked annoyed.

"What? You said you wanted a dancer in a cake for your bday, so we obliged." Frank said innocently as Bob glared once more.

"I said a dancer, as in a *female*! With a bikini of some sort, not Mr. Flashdance over here!" he said jabbing his finger in Jimmy's direction as Jimmy gasped.

"Well I never!" he said getting down from the table. "You know, I spent all week preparing my routine, and I didn't even charge you for my services, and this how you thank me? By complaining?!" he shouted. "Well fine." he huffed as he grabbed his jacket before stalking out of the room.

"Aww come on Bob it was just a joke." Gerard put in.

"Yeah. It's real hilarious, I'm rolling on the floor in amusement." Bob said sarcastically as the guys just laughed.

It'd take a few more beers to make Bob forget what had just happened. Frank giggled once more before putting his arm around Bob's shoulder.

"Happy birthday Bob. We lurve you."
___

(A/N: Yes it was Jimmy Urine who popped out of that cake. Sue me.)

 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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