Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> Avenged Sevenfold >> A Far Cry from Innocence
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VI: And the door it
opens is the way
First things first, when I got the emails for you guys' reviews it seriously made my day - so
thank you! This one's short and nothing much happens, but I wanted to get something
“Scarlet,” he whispered, “please…Scar, can we talk?”
It was the first time he'd been able to catch me alone since `the incident', and two seconds in I
already wanted him to go away again. Where were the rest of the guys? Where was Val? How had Zack
managed to choose the one time they weren't all here to try and talk? I shrugged indifferently,
sighing at the familiarity of the pain hearing his voice caused.
“I guess,” I replied flatly, wringing my hands together and staring blankly at the wall
behind him. I was sitting behind the makeshift merch stand at another crappy venue, the guys had
finished their set over an hour ago but I'd not moved since, so I supposed he'd just taken it upon
himself to find me. His eyes seemed to search my face desperately for a moment, maybe seeking any
hint of forgiveness, but I knew he'd find none - just at the sight of him my face had hardened into
a stony mask. Nevertheless, he crept forward to sit on the chair beside mine, bowing his head
slightly as he stared at his feet.
“I'm really sorry, Scar…” he croaked eventually, “I don't know why I did
it, I didn't, I wasn't thinking…”
“Cut the crap, Z! You were thinking! You knew exactly what you were fucking
doing!” I burst out, glowering as he visibly shrank back against the chair, “You were
just pissed off cos I wouldn't put out…I bet you thought you'd just have one quick fuck and
I'd never find out, right?”
He shook his head, attempting to interrupt, but I held up a hand to stop him, “You said you'd
never pressure me, Zack. You knew I wasn't ready and you still tried it on all the time, and then
when it didn't work you fucking went to her!”
“Shut up! You have no reasonable fucking explanation for this!” my hands
balled into fists, I glared at him fiercely before I took a deep breath to calm myself and got to my
feet, turning away, “I hope it was worth it, Zack, because I don't give cheaters second
There were so many other things I wanted to say to him, so many questions I had - why was I not good
enough? Why her? What was so difficult about waiting for me? But then, I didn't really want to know
the answers. All I knew for certain was that had he really valued our relationship, the thought of
cheating would never have crossed his mind, never mind the fact he'd acted on it. I may have been
vulnerable to him, attracted to him beforehand and unable to resist the pull of his clear attraction
to me, his sense of humour, his smile and how damn adorable he could be, but when I looked at him
now all I could feel was disgust, I could see nothing of his perfect, balanced features, the
sea-green of his eyes - all I could see was the slimeball he'd become by being a cheater. All I
could feel was that I deserved better.
I wished that I could be happy like Val and Matt.
Val was so, so lucky to have found the right guy so early on in life. Matt was even luckier. While
the rest of us and our relationships seemed balanced constantly on a knife edge (mine and Z's
falling apart completely, Jimmy and Leana's on the rocks a lot of the time - she didn't get along
with Val or Michelle, and it left Jimmy between a rock and a hard place, his girlfriend and a couple
of his best friends) Matt and Val were the steady ones that kept us on track. Matt held doors open
for her, held her hand, kissed her sweetly, draped his arm over her shoulders protectively whenever
we went out in public, told her she was gorgeous and attempted to buy her things he really couldn't
practically afford. He was the perfect gentleman. And then there was Val…Val did everything
for Matt and the band, realising just how much it meant to him. She'd arranged every single tour
date and helped organise the guys' inventory of things they were taking with them, then arranged the
daily budget, taken the time to look up the routes we were taking to venues and then painstakingly
marked on the map where gas stations were and service stations where we could pull over and sleep,
and even before that she'd been stealing money from her parents to fund the guys' efforts and
handling everything to do with selling merch.
They were perfect for each other, and I guess I couldn't have been happier for them - even if I did
have the tiniest bit of a crush on Matt.
I wasn't going to do anything about it…I'd never want to put Val through the pain I'd just
felt at being cheated on. My whole heart had just gone numb, and my brain was still trying to
process it now. It was the cruellest thing anyone could ever do to me, especially when I'd been as
into Zack as I was before it had happened, and putting Val through that kind of mental torture would
be even crueller. I'd leave the pair of them well alone; I'd stick with being lonely myself any day
over making Val lonely and Matt a cheater - therefore in my books just as much a scumbag as Zack. I
loved the both of them too much for that, and if it meant pushing aside my liking for him (and how
sweet and funny and strangely charming and protective he was) then that was the way it would be.
Dragging my feet, I headed out of the venue and into the street we'd parked the van on behind it,
noting that the sliding side door was open which meant there would be people inside. I clambered in
numbly, tears randomly pricking behind my eyelids despite my attempts to blink them away.
Goddamnit Zachary, you don't know how much this hurts…
No, no, no! Collect yourself, Scarlet! Man up!
Swallowing, I glanced around myself through blurred vision. Brian sat in one corner of the van, on
the phone to Michelle assumingly, with a frown furrowing his brow. His conversation paused abruptly
when I came into the van, and I assumed he'd been talking about what Zack had done because the
subject quickly changed from `yeah…in the dressing room' to `so how's everyone back home?'
and he flashed me a tentative smile.
Matt and Val were nowhere to be seen, while Jimmy was settled in the passenger seat, which he'd
tilted back so he could sprawl out all over it as he appeared to be playing an invisible drumkit to
himself, and Johnny was asleep in another corner, propped up against the side of the van with his
head bowed and his styled Mohawk starting to fold down and droop over his eyes. He looked like he
belonged in the Misfits. I rubbed the tears away from my eyes and crawled over to curl up next to
Johnny, wrapping my arms around his torso and laying my head against his shoulder as lightly as I
could in an attempt not to wake him. It didn't work too well.
“Hey…” he mumbled groggily, as his arm tightened around me and he blinked in
apparent bleariness, pressing his lips to the top of my head. I was a year or two older than him,
but he'd still always acted as my big brother, and this time was no different. He took one look at
me and frowned deeply, pulling me even closer and brushing the hair out of my face.
I nodded slowly, sniffling quietly so as not to disturb Jimmy from his playing or Brian's phone
call. “Mhm…” and his expression softened instantly,
“I'm really sorry…I don't know why I did it, I wasn't thinking…” I
mocked Zack's voice bitterly, staring miserably at the floor. “He's not fucking stupid. He
knew what he was doing…” I huffed, “So I shouted at him.”
Johnny hugged me closer, quelling the bitter sobs that rose in my throat, “I'm really sorry,
babe. It's just that Z's used to girls hanging off him, not the other way round…he thinks
that a couple of breakdowns and desperate apologies is gonna fix things like it has with his past
girlfriends.” He sighed, watching me sadly, “Truth is, he needs to learn that this isn't
okay, the best thing you can do for both of you is keep on ignoring him, yell at him again if you
need to. Don't forgive him for it right now, he'll never realise how much of a dick he's been
“I don't wanna forgive him ever…” I mumbled, hiding my face in his chest.
He kissed my cheek, pulling me into his lap and rocking gently to soothe me,
“Scar, hun, I know it hurts. It seems like the end of the fuckin' world doesn't it? I know you
hate him and the rest of us do too for being such a fucking idiot, but you're gonna heal…fast
or not, it'll happen. And one day you might feel like forgiving him, or feel like listening to
whatever godawful reasoning he can give you for what he did, you might even want to be his friend
again.” I shook my head, curling my hands into fists as my lip trembled when Johnny kissed my
cheek again, kindly, “And maybe one day, after you've forgiven him, you'll realise you've
fallen in love with him again, like I know you did the last time.” Even if you don't want
to admit it. He didn't say those words out loud, but I could read them in his eyes.
“It's not that simple, Christ…” I protested
“It's not that complicated either.” He replied, brushing my hair back lightly with his
fingertips. “He does deserve the hate you've got for him right now, but one day you're gonna
get tired of hating him and realise that this isn't as much of a big deal as it seems.”
That stung. “Of course it's a big deal…he knowingly cheated on me.” I
exclaimed, pulling back slightly. Johnny shook his head, but was beaten to the mark by Jimmy as he
clambered over the seat where he'd obviously been listening in.
“Hey, hey…” he smiled brightly in encouragement, plopping down on my other side
with a thud and slipping a lean arm around my waist, “It seems bad, and I'm so fucking
sorry you had to go through this…but this way, Zack learns to respect you, right? He's never
respected anyone the way he's gonna start to respect you - cos he's learned from the past week that
when you treat someone like shit, if they have any self respect they don't associate with you any
longer. Nobody, not one single person's done this to him before. He'll do anything to get
back in your good books.”
“I don't want him in my good books. I don't want him in any book. I don't even want him in my
Burn Book.” I muttered, inwardly wincing at making a Mean Girls reference in the middle of
such a serious conversation, “I don't want to talk to him at all.”
“We're not saying you have to,” Johnny cut in with a compromise, “just…one
day, it might happen. Without you realising it's going on.”
That would do, I supposed. I wasn't too keen on willingly forgiving him, but if things were out of
my control…if they just happened circumstantially, that would be less of a blow to my pride.
I'd never thought myself the kind of girl that would give a guy that had cheated a second chance,
but when Jimmy and Johnny put it that way, I guessed it made sense. It would just happen. One day,
maybe after the tour was ended and I was home and could more easily not talk to Zack, I'd
realise I missed him, and when that happened - that would be when I'd accept I'd forgiven him.
I missed him already, but that didn't count as forgiveness. Just a lonely, unbearable ache in my
heart, in that gap that he'd left.
Fuck you for that, Zachary.
Johnny smiled at me, pleased by whatever in my expression gave away the fact I'd conceded he and
Jimmy were right. He kissed the top of my head and pulled me closer to him so I could curl up in his
lap, and Jimmy slumped with his head conveniently pillowed by my boobs as he settled, assumingly, to
sleep. I made no move to push him away, and instead curled closer to Johnny as he wrapped his arms
around me and cradled me to his chest.
“Guess we should sleep?” I mumbled hazily, and he nodded quietly, kissing the side of my
“Night Scar.” He paused, then glanced down, “Night Jim.”
“Mmhsshmm” came Jimmy's bleary reply, and I smiled.
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The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.
Please see the Terms of Service for more information.