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Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> Tokio Hotel >> Hopeless

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

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Part 1.
By Torri Ryan

 


I knew he noticed some thing was up. I could see it in his eyes, the way he looked at me like he was worried. We always had a way of reading each other, but he couldn't fully tap in this time.

“Bill, what's up with you lately?” My “older” twin Tom asked, not ever looking away from me. It made me uncomfortable to know that he noticed my change in attitude, or did he notice me slowly getting skinnier, or the scars on my wrists that I hid under long gloves.

“Nothing.” That's all I could get out, the words were stuck in the back of my throat, wanting to come out, but couldn't.

“Come on Bill, I'm not an idiot. What's up with you? You never smile any more, that's all you used to ever do is smile” He stared deep into my eyes; I knew I was hurting him. He was the most important thing in my life; he was the other half of me, my twin.

“Please Billa, tell me what's wrong” He had a nickname for me, he used it since we were little.

“Tom, I'm just… I'm… I…” I stuttered, he put a hand on my shoulder.

“Just tell me” eagerly wanted to know.

“Am I fat?” I suddenly asked him. Giving a hint to what has been bothering me.

“FAT! You? Hell no! You're the skinniest thing I've ever seen, why would you ask something like that?… oh...” he catched on at he end of his rambling.

“Bill are you starving your self?!” he worriedly asked, his grip on my shouldered tightened.

“maybe.” I admitted, the look in his eyes made me begin to cry. In a sudden hes arms were wrapped around me hugging me tight as I cried.

“Billa, don't do this to your self. Please.” His voice was desperate.

“I'm sorry, I just…cant help it any more.” I said between sobs. He pulled away from his embrace and looked at me.

“Your to perfect to do that.” He smiled, I was his twin after all, he is like my best friend. But I was still hiding more from him. I hated myself for it.

“Don't worry little bro, I will always be here for you. You can tell me anything” he emphasized the anything; he knew something else was up. He stared at the long sleeve like gloves on my wrists, then back to my face. All I wanted to do at the moment was to go into the bathroom and cry, I would also do something I know I shouldn't, but I always do when I'm upset.

“I have to go.” I stood up, “thanks” and I walked away. I know he knows were I'm going, but I continued to walk away. I looked back at him he looked hopeless.

His twin brother hated himself so much that he would hurt and starve himself. I should be “so proud” of myself.

I sat on the bathroom floor crying for hours, slitting the pale thin skin on my wrists, letting the blood run down my arm and drip onto the bathroom floor. If only he knew the pain I suffered.

There was a lot he didn't know about me. Like that our father rapes me, that I've attempted suicide, and that I thought I was the ugliest and most disgusting thing I've ever seen. If only he knew.

I heard a knock at the bathroom door. I quickly threw my gloves on and threw the razor I was using into the bathtub and using my feet to wipe up the blood. It only smudged it on the ground. Tom came in and his eyes bulged at what he saw.

 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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