I'm not quite sure how to even put this into words. I can't describe everything that had changed in
ways I never thought possible. In my eighteen years of life, I never thought it would turn out this
way. It technically wasn't supposed to be like this, but I guess that's what life is about. Changes,
misguided directions, and the inevitable realization that everyone who takes a chance on love will
get hurt at some point. But this was different…all because of her.
That's right her. I
didn't even know what made attracted to her. Scratch that, it was [/everything/]. Everything about
her was almost mystifying. Her soul, her passion, her ability to thrive off anything she did.
Lacey. Lacey Nicole Mosley was the name I would truly never forget. It was permanently
imaged into my brain as it only made me think about her more.
At first it started off as
just friends, nothing more of course. I had been introduced to the group by Ruby who happened to be
James' girlfriend at the time. Even if I didn't fit in with most of them, she was still there with
that famous smile on her face as she would laugh along with jokes that were told while I became
memorized by her.
But then I would stop myself. All of this had seemed completely wrong. I
shouldn't be thinking about her this way. It wasn't right. I wasn't supposed to like one of my own
kind…right? But the more I convinced myself it would never be, the more the feelings began to
get stronger. Everything I did or everywhere I went, it just wouldn't go away. It plagued to me to
no end and I knew I had to do something sooner or later. But if I did the wrong thing, I would most
likely ruin our friendship and that was the last thing that I would ever want to happen. I couldn't
lose someone so special.
Special. Yeah that's what she was. A special girl. A girl who would
undoubtedly change and save my life.
As I recall it was that one lonely day when I was
walking down the school corridors, I had gotten into a fight with Carmen Winsted, my so called
bully. I had blood stained on my sweater that came from my nose, and I felt bruises forming along my
cheek. I had been so miserable that day, I even attempted to resort back to cutting. But just as I
making my way to the bathroom to reunite my long lost love, I had a heard a noise, a voice in fact.
It was small and faint, but it stood out so much. I curiously followed the noise and as I came
closer, it became softer. Someone was singing. Singing in a way I had never heard before. It was
almost angelic. I had stopped at the door in front of me, a shadow inside as I peered in. My heart
stopped at the source. It was her.
Her unmistakable wavy brown hair lying against her back as
her slender hands swayed across the piano as her eyes were closed while she continued to sing. I had
been completely hypnotized as I watched her once more before walking away and heading home where
that night I had kept replaying the exact words she was singing. It was then I realized Lacey had
The reason I need to make a choice now or never. I would either
force myself to forget her, or live in the shame of letting an angel go. But if I carried out my
decision, what was the outcome? Being taunted or humiliated for liking my own kind? Shunned from the
eyes of the Lord, and my parents? Even if that did happen, perhaps I was ready to get past that.
Cause only person mattered to me…
I remember the day so perfectly that I had asked her
to come with me to the little creek by our houses. It was where we always went, and I just figured
this would be the best place. I was going to tell her.
I was going to tell Lacey Nicole Mosley I
was…in love with her. That she was all that mattered to me, and I could hope she felt the
I brushed my hair out of my eyes as I spotted her coming closer. Her hair dancing
in the wind and her smile appearing at the sight of me. I smiled and felt the butterflies start to
flutter in my stomach. I had hardened my heart to face the possibility of rejection. I knew this
idea sounded crazy, but honestly, wasn't the world already crazy?
said softly to me and I responded in the same tone. We stood there for a moment in silence until I
looked at her. I said her name softly and she looked at me is she was letting me know she was
listening. I stuttered on my words, but I managed to get them out even with the huge lump in my
“I think I-I love you.” I choked out as she took in the words and I saw
her eyebrows dip slightly as if she was thinking. I looked down embarrassed as I knew I had ruined
something by the look in her eyes.
“Please forgive me.” I told her as she looked
at me once more and a smile slowly crept upon her lips. She stood closer and I stood frozen as she
smiled wider and hugged me. Her petite body wrapping around mine as my heart stopped for a moment.
She pulled back and our eyes had locked. It was almost as if everything around us had slowed. I used
to think people were just plain stupid when they said things like that, but I now I knew they
weren't stupid…they were right.
“I think I love you too.” she said to me
as I smiled inside and outside.
“I'm just scared.” I admitted to her. She only
nodded in understanding. She would face the same trials I would.
“I am too. But, if
it's true, it can't be wrong to us can it?” she asked softly and I stared back at her as I
shook my head and smiled as I laced my hand with hers. It felt so perfect. It felt like the world
was at peace for one mere second. We had turned our heads slightly as we both reluctantly leaned in
and our lips had touched. I could taste her strawberry chap stick, while I'm sure she could taste my
kiwi one. It only lasted a minute, but it felt like forever. My body tingled and my back shivered.
My stomach felt warm and she only smiled as she cupped my cheek.
It was then we both knew we
right all along. She tugged on my hand as she started to walk me down the lake. We embraced the
silence as it lingered in the air, because no words had to be spoken. It was only clear in my mind I
indeed loved this girl. She was everything I had never dreamed of, but somehow wanted. We stopped at
a tree and we sat down as I for some reason had put my head in her lap. She only giggled as she
brushed my hair while the wind danced around us. The sun had beat down and I closed my eyes for one
second as I heard her breathe.
“Lacey?” I asked
“Yes?” she replied as I opened my eyes and looked up at
“Will you sing me a song?” I asked as she smiled and nodded. I closed my
eyes again as she started to sing the familiar notes that were my lullaby at night.
what had changed everything. The starting of something wonderful. Even if we couldn't share it with
the world, we could still share it between us. The world might not understand our love, but the
people who matter to us will. To the world, we might just be two girls. But to two girls, we were
each other's world.
All of the things she had taught me, it was love. She taught me it was
okay to be imperfect and messed up. I had come to appreciate life in it's finest form.
was all because of her.
Her name was Lacey. And she saved my