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Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> My Chemical Romance

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

 

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I Don't Belong
By Jude

 


“Is it just me or has Gerard been acting funny lately?” I asked Ray as he was on the computer.

“I dunno. Maybe a little. But we're having exams all week so that could be it.” That wasn't the answer I wanted. I nodded looking through the window at Gerard outside.

“Yeah, maybe.” Gerard was picking at the grass on the ground, rather ripping it from its former spot. I opened the door to outside and walked behind Gerard. He couldn't hear me because his headphones were attached to his ears. I tapped his shoulder and he didn't even jump like he used to. He turned around quite redundantly and looked at me through squinted eyes. I couldn't decipher his expression, but I knew it wasn't pleased. He stopped his iPod and took off his headphones.

“What, Frank?” He didn't say `Frankie'. That pissed me off.

“Nothing. I just wanted to say hi.”

“Oh,” He leaned against the oak tree. I sat next to him my eyes were still adjusting to the setting sun.

“What are you listening to?”

“The Fray.” He mumbled. Gerard really wasn't the type of person to listen to The Fray. I don't know why he was listening to them, though.

“What song?”

“I forget it.” He muttered avoiding my eyes the entire time. He got up and shoved his iPod in his pocket. “I have to go home. Bye Frank.” He walked home waving his hand.

“Bye Gee.” I said. I was kind of mad that he wasn't talking to me. Okay, I was very mad. What the hell was his problem?

*************************************************************************************

Gerard wasn't at school the next day. He came back to school the day after that looking exhausted and pale. He barely spoke at lunch and he didn't eat. He just looked at the ground. It's guidance class now and the teacher is talking about “peer pressure”. What else is new? Gerard is actually listening to his iPod, something he'd never do in class because he tries to get the best grades he can.

“Now, what else is there to talk about…?” Mrs. Burkly pondered, looking through her book. She was a nice teacher and all, but who even likes guidance? She looked up from her book and closed it. “Okay, class, this is a tough subject to talk about.” Gerard took his headphones off and looked up. “Some of you may leave the room if you need to. I know it is a tough subject because I've lost a friend to this.” She closed her eyes and kept her mouth shut. I looked at Gerard and he was staring out the window. I kept staring at him to see if he'd turn to me, but he never did. “But, I have to talk about it to you as a teacher. We're going to discuss teenage suicide.” I watched Gerard and he jerked his head up to Mrs. Burkly and his face went ten shades paler. “Now, I'm going to hand you this paper about signs of suicide in ones lifestyle.” Gerard pushed his chair away from his desk.

“Excuse me.” He said quietly and ran out of the room. Mrs. Burkly looked at me.

“Frank, would you…?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Sure.” I rubbed my eyes and walked out the door. I looked around the hall. I couldn't see him.

*************************************************************************************

“We need to talk.” I said staring at Gerard's face with a serious expression. I'd just heard muffled cries coming from the Way's bathroom and Gerard walked out. He looked at me with his mouth slightly open and eyes a bit wide. He let his eyes relax and closed his mouth, walking past me. I reached for his arm. “Sit down. It's just a talk.” I said and he sat at the kitchen table. I sat across from him. He smiled at me and I tried to find out what was wrong with him.

“What did you want to talk about, Frankie?” He asked, just like old times. I looked at him. Maybe Ray was right.

“Nothing. Never mind.” He chuckled a little and got up from the table. He patted my head on his way out.

“Its okay, Frankie. We all get like that sometimes.”

“Yeah.” I nodded.

*************************************************************************************

I'm sleeping over tonight and I can't get to sleep. Gerard's asleep with his iPod. Mikey is over at Alicia's. Donna and Donald aren't here. They went somewhere in Manhattan for their anniversary. Gerard's iPod is too loud. I can't sleep with it playing. I push the covers off me and Gerard rolls over in his sleep. You see, we're on the pullout couch because Mikey didn't want anyone sleeping in his bed because he's weird like that and Gerard's bed is covered with pencils and pens and paints and paper and drawings and comics… It goes on and on, so Gerard's been sleeping on the pullout couch which is where I usually sleep. I told him I'd be fine on the floor but he told me to have the couch and he'd sleep on the floor but I thought that was silly and we'd been best friends for so long so we just shared the couch. He's taking up all the blankets and frankly it's pissing me off. Not as much as the music is. I pulled off his headphones and he muttered something incoherent and then I took his iPod. I paused it to see what the song was and it was on a playlist titled `Adam's Song & Others'. I didn't know what the hell `Adam's Song' meant, but I put the headphones on to hear it. There was only about 7 or 6 songs there. Adam's Song, How to Save a Life, Hold On, The Red, Jumper, Asleep, and Come Out Fighting. I sat back and pressed play. It was on shuffle and I heard these words:

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I'm tired and I
I want to go to bed

It was really pretty music. I closed my eyes and listened for more.

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
And then leave me alone
Don't try to wake me in the morning
'Cause I will be gone

Gone? What? My eyes shot open.


Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go

Glad? I listened harder.

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore

Oh god.

Sing to me
Sing to me
I don't want
to wake up
On my own anymore

Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of
my heart
I really want to go

There is another world
There is a better world
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well ...


Bye bye
Bye bye
Bye ...

I hit next as fast as I could. I heard some acoustic strumming and listened for lyrics.

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend.

Oh god. I hit next again.

*************************************************************************************

I listened to all the songs. They were all about suicide. The one that was played the most was Adam's Song by Blink-182. It scares me. I don't think I can go to sleep. Gerard tossed around and opened his eyes slowly. It was only midnight. He saw I had his iPod. His eyes went wide and he grabbed it. I let him take it.

“Gerard---,”

“It's not what it looks like, okay?” He said, pretty loud. He fumbled with the headphones and the iPod. His gaze lay upon his iPod and his hands.

“Gerard---,”

“Why did you have to take it?!” He shouted. I kept my mouth shut. His body started shaking. “I don't belong.” He said in a lower voice from crying. “Why am I so fucked up?” He muttered. He got up from the couch and ran to the bathroom. I ran after him and heard the door lock. I pounded on the door, afraid of him doing something that might kill him. I pounded harder.

“Open up, Gee!” I yelled and pounded harder. “OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” I shouted, much, much louder then I actually meant to. I didn't want to scare him more. “Gerard, please open the door.” I pleaded. I knocked on the door more. I kicked it, ran into it, pounded it with my fists anything to get it open.

*************************************************************************************

Gerard still won't open the door. I'm worried. I think he's done something awful and he's not on Earth anymore. A piece of paper slides out from under the door. I pick it up and read it.

Don't be mad at me, Frank.

I know you've been there for, God knows how long.

But believe when I tell you, I don't belong here.

You can't open the door Frank. You have to let me go.

You're the only one who cares. I wouldn't go if you'd come in my life sooner.

It's too late.

I'm not on Earth anymore.

I'm so sorry.

-G

“No!” I kicked at the door as hard as I could. I leaned against the wall and it fell. I looked around the bathroom for the familiar face. “Gerard. You can't be dead.” I looked around the room and checked the sink and the area by the sink. Then it hit me. The bathtub. He'd fallen asleep in the bathtub. I ran to it and pulled the body out. “Gerard. Wake up.” I hit his chest. “C'mon, buddy. Wake up. Don't leave me.” I looked at his watered face and closed eyes. I hit his chest more to try and get him to cough up the water. I pinched his nose and put my mouth on his and did mouth-to-mouth. I pumped his chest more. He started coughing. “Gerard!” I said. He coughed more. I hugged him tightly. He coughed more.

“W-where am I?” He said in a weak voice looking around the room. “W-what h-happened?” His voice cracked.

“Nothing.” I grinned at him. I hugged him as hard as I could. He just looked confused but hugged me anyway, his fingerless gloves gripped my back. Then he hugged me harder and started crying, like he had remembered what happened. “Don't do that again. You may think you don't belong, but nobody really does and you're my best friend. You can tell me anything and I promise I won't yell at you or judge you.”

“Really?” He muffled into my shirt.

“I'm your best friend, aren't I?”

“Yeah.”

“I better be.” He smiled a little. “C'mon, let's go eat.”

“I could really go for some bacon.” Gerard mumbled dreamily.

“Ick!” He laughed.

“You said you wouldn't judge me.”

“Sorry. Starting now.”

 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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