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Lullabies (One Shot)
By Elizzabeth

 



        
kso, this is based on the song lullabies by all time low. which alex wrote for his brother who
killed himself. sad.

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/all_time_low/lullabies.html


        
Gerard stormed out of the house again, motioning for me to follow. I obliged and walked out the door
behind him. Gee and my father did this all the time. Dad would freak out because Gerard's gay and
Gerard would freak in turn for my dad's inacceptance. Sometimes it would get to the point where
shart objects were thrown. Tonight was especially bad. Gerard then would usually just storm out of
the house with no word to anyone, and leave me worried for hours. Gerard Way wasn't only my
amazingly gorgeous older brother, he was my boyfriend. Wrong? I knew it was. But I loved him.

        
Gerard and I were out on the front step. He said he was going away for ahwile. I asked him where, he
said he didn't know. But he promised me that he was going to be safe, and that he loved me, and to
"never forget it, no matter what." He then kissed me passionately and left.

(make it a sweet, sweet goodbye. It could be for the last time and it's not right)

        
I walked back inside, ignoring my dad's jabs at my pant size, and that if I bought them any
skinnier, I would end up fucking boys too. Too bad he didn't know I already was. And my own brother
too. I'm sure he would have loved that.

        
I was downstairs to my room before I really started to worry. There was something off about Gerard
when he left. By this time, I was hyperventilating. "Never forget it, no matter what." That wasn't
something Gerard said. What the hell?! I sighed and made myself believe that he was just trying to
be dramatic. I was still worried.

        
I picked up my cell and called my mom. I told her everything that happened and asked her to go pick
Gerard up after work. "Tell him I'm worried" I had said. I knew if she told him that he would
listen. I told mom he was probably under the bridge. That's where he usually went to think after
these episodes with our father.

        
A woman screaming woke me around two hours later. I knew it was my mom. I booked it up the stairs
and saw it. Gerard. Laid in a heap on the ground. His eyes were white and his lips were blue. There
was blood seeping from under his coat.

        
he was dead.
('don't let yourself get in over your head' he said; alone and far from home we'll find you. Dead,
like a candle you burnt out. Spill the wax over the spaces left in place of empty words.)

        
I couldn't believe it. Even though there was solid evidence in front of me. Gerard. My
Gerard, was dead. I fell to the floor clutching my chest. Was I having a heart attack?!
The love of my life, my older brother, my Gerard, was on the floor, dead. I felt like I was
in that dream, the one where you're falling and falling, and you can't get back up. My chest was
exploding.

        
All I remembered was hearing my mom cry, "Donald, I think Mikey's having a heart attack." My dad had
said "Uh-huh, so?" She said "Do you want to lose both your sons tonight?" Then it was dark.

        
I wasn't dead. No. I was still alive. Was I in a coma? It was dark, but there was no pain.
Gerard was there. In my head, he wasn't dead. He stood beside me, holding my hand, telling me to
push through. I didn't want to. I was happy here. I knew if I pushed through, I'd be in pain.
It was like being underwater. Under here, I was with Gerard and everything was okay. He said he was
sorry, and that he loved me and mom and that I needed to go back for her. I couldn't though.
Everytime I would try to submerge from the water, he would start singing, "I miss you, I'm so
sorry." And I would come back down. There was another place beneath me. Gerard said that it was
death. He said that if I let myself fall, I could be with him forever. But I could hear my mom's
sobs and my friend's voices and I knew I had to hold on.

(sing me to sleep, i'll see you in my dreams. waiting to say; 'I miss you, I'm so sorry."

        
After a very, very long time, I heard my doctor that they were going to take me off life
support. I was going to die. I felt for Gee. He told me to fall, to let myself die before
they made me. I knew I needed to tell my mom. Tell her about me and Gerard.

        
"Gerard," I whispered. "If I go back, and told mom everything and said goodbye. Will you still be
here?"
        
"I'll never leave." He responded.

        
I pushed myself up from under water. I blinked twice and took in the room. It was totally empty
except for my mother, who was holding my hand crying. I met her stare.

        
"Oh, Oh. Mikey!" She cried.
        
"Shh, mom. I'm not here long." I whispered.
        
"Mikey, please. Hold on."
        
"Mom, I loved Gerard."
        
"So did-"
        
"No mom," I argued, " I was in love with him. We were together. I was the boy Dad beat
him every night for falling in love with."
        
"Oh," was all she managed to get out.
        
"I love you mom, but Gee's waiting for me."
        
"Mikey, that's so wrong. Please, don't leave me."
        
"I know it's wrong, but I can't live without him, I'm sorry mom. I love you, and dad.
Goodbye."
        

        
(don't you realize you shot this family a world of pain, [because you left us in pieces] can't
you see this should have been a happy ending we let go?)

        
With that I let the water take me. I heard my mother's sobs again, but they were quiet, resigned. I
knew she was going to be okay. I met Gerard in the middle. His perfect face shining in the dim
light. He ran his hand through my hair and kissed my forehead.

(you've taken so much with you, but left the worst with me)

        
"Let's go Mikey."
        
I took his hand and fell into the deeper water, letting the waves of life wash over me. I turned to
see Gerard smile and I knew it was okay to take that one last step into unconsiousness.

        
"I love you." I sighed.
        
"Forever." He replied.
        
And I let that one last wave wash me over. I felt my heart stammer and stop. There was no more light
over the water.

        
I was with my Gerard, forever.

        
( i miss you, i'm so sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry.)



 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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