Anime/Manga Fan Fiction >> Neon Genesis Evangelion
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By Jose Argao
Disclaimer: The NGE characters aren't mine (much as I wish they were).
They belong to Gainax. I didn't write this for profit, so please don't
sue me. It's not like I have anything to take anyway.
Warning: Trying to read this fic while doing a handstand, laughing
hysterically, and singing the macarena backwards in german at the same
time may cause people to think that you are insane.
By Jose Argao
I am sitting quietly in class, but my thoughts are not of the
second impact lecture the teacher is giving. The same lecture he gives
us everyday. I already know it by heart and have no need to hear it
again. For the fifth time I try to concentrate on something other than
the mission I would be conducting this afternoon, but my thoughts
inevitably drift back to it. Actually, even in it's earliest planning
stages, it had always bothered me. My thoughts go back to the last
conversation I had with Misato before leaving for school.
"Do you understand what you have to do now?"
"Are you sure, Shinji? I don't want to have to repeat myself to
"Don't worry, Misato-san. I think I have it down now."
"You'd better. We've been going over this for weeks."
"Don't worry, I know what I have to do."
"Well, if you say so. Just remember how we planned it. If you
stick to the plan everything will be fine."
"Good, and one more thing. Be careful, okay?"
"Don't worry. I will."
I acted so sure of myself then, but I was actually nervous as
hell. Not that I didn't trust Misato's judgment, but the whole thing
seemed so simple. Too simple, in fact. Misato made it seem almost
routine. But nothing is ever that simple. Everything has it's own
Still, I know a lot of planning and preparation has gone into
this. Every movement, every action, would be planned. Almost every
complication that could possibly arise had been thought of and dealt
with. I myself have spent weeks training for it, going through the
necessary actions over and over again. If I wanted to, I'm pretty sure
I can recite every step exactly as Misato described it to me.
But despite all the training and preparation, I'm still scared.
I can feel the fear eating at me from the inside. It's interfering with
everything I do. It keeps me awake at night, and makes me restless
during the day. I hear the sound of the bell ringing signifying the
start of lunch. I slowly get up from my seat, not really sure if I want
I'm about to go through the door when I hear a familiar voice
calling my name. I know that voice, but I still feel surprise when I
turn to face her. Not at who she is, but that she isn't hurling insults
at me right off the bat.
"Hey! Baka Shinji! I need to talk to you."
Damn! She would have to pick today of all days to decide to
talk to me. I was always trying to talk to her before, but she was less
than enthusiastic about the idea of talking to a "dummkopf" like me.
Why would she want to talk to me now? Oh well, guess there's only one
way to find out.
"Yeah? What do you want?"
"Hikari and I will be going to the mall this afternoon, so I'll
be a bit late coming home. I forgot to tell Misato this morning so you
can tell her when you get home."
Great, just great. It's not enough that she treats me like dirt
all the time, now she's acting like I'm her personal slave or
something. Still, I guess I should be happy that she won't be around
this afternoon, It would make my task a lot easier. The safest response
would be to just say yes.
As I watch her leave, I thank the gods that she isn't part of
the operation. Her presence would only make it all the more difficult.
Her going to the mall with Hikari would be a nice break for me. I don't
want her to know about the mission if I can help it. She's already mad
at me for passing her sync-ratio. God knows what she'll do to me if she
finds out about this.
At lunch, I choose a secluded corner of the school grounds to
sit in. Touji joins me a few minutes later. So far, he's the only
person outside of NERV who knows about the mission. I didn't want to
tell him about it, but he noticed the change in my behavior a few weeks
ago and wouldn't stop asking me about it. Plus, I needed someone to
talk to other than Misato. Asuka is out of the question and I don't
think Kensuke is that good at keeping a secret. Hearing him boast about
the dirt he digs up on NERV can attest to that. I'm only half
listening, however, when Touji starts talking.
"So, today's the big day huh?"
"Relax, you'll get through this. Just treat it like any other
operation. Everything will be fine if you follow the plan."
"But I can't relax. I've been trying to relax for the past few
weeks but I just can't. I've never done anything like this before. I
can't help but feel nervous."
"I understand how you feel, but I have faith in you. I know you
can do it."
"Thanks, Touji. That means a lot to me."
"Don't mention it. What are friends for?"
I feel slightly more confident after my conversation with
Touji, but I still feel somewhat uneasy. I spend the rest of the day
trying without success to think of something other than the mission. I
tried reading lessons from my laptop, I tried daydreaming, I even tried
to pay attention on the teacher's lecture about the second impact. All
of my efforts prove futile, though, as time and time again I find my
thoughts drifting back to the mission.
Finally giving up on taking my mind off it, I decide to just
review the plan. Again it strikes me how simple and straightforward it
seems. Not for the first time I wonder if the plan would really work.
Misato had been quite confident that it would. But then again, she also
seemed quite confident that a human being could survive on beer alone.
I try not to think about failure. Failure is not an option. The
consequences are far too great. I will succeed. I just have to.
My thoughts are interrupted by the ringing of the bell
signifying the end of class. On one hand, I'm glad that it will soon be
over. On the other hand, I'm still uneasy about the mission. Well,
there's no getting out of it. The preparations have already been made.
It would not be possible to postpone. I head to a bench outside school
and wait for the first child to arrive.
Then I see her. The first child, Ayanami Rei. I can never
understand how she can keep calm under conditions that would break
grown men. I can see no trace of fear or concern in her face as she
walks toward me. She probably doesn't even realize the importance of
the role she plays in this mission.
Suddenly, for no apparent reason, my uneasiness turns to
sheer terror. What if I can't do it? What if something happens? What
if I fail? "I mustn't run away" I tell myself repeatedly.
"I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away."
Chanting this to myself always helped calm my nerves before,
but this time it doesn't seem to be working.
I'm so busy convincing myself not to run away that I barely
realize it when Rei arrives. I look up to find her standing in front of
me, giving me a puzzled look. The sound of her voice surprises me.
"You wished to see me, Ikari-kun?"
This is it. Now or never. Do or die. Make or break. I just have
to remember the plan. What was it? Damn, I've been going over it for
weeks! How can I suddenly forget all about it? Sadly, that seems to be
the case. I look up at her nervously.
"Um... ah... yeah."
"What did you wish to see me for?"
Man this is hard. This is nothing like Misato said it would be.
It's not easy or routine at all. I guess I'll just have to improvise.
"Well... uh... I was kinda wondering if you'd like to... um...
go out with me to the... movies... tomorrow night. You know, like... on
I must be sweating bullets by now. Somehow all the senses in my
body seem to be momentarily shutting down. Well, I've gone this far, I
might as well see it through to the end.
She seems to think about it for a while. Why is she taking so
long? Doesn't she realize that I'm dangerously close to having a heart
attack here? Wait! She's opening her mouth! She's about to answer!
"I think I would like that."
Well, I guess I should have expected that. I mean, who would
want to go out with a wuss like me? I'm a total loser! I'm... huh?
"I said I think I would like that."
That's it. She said it. She said yes. I wasn't dreaming. I
can't believe it was that easy. If only I had known, I would have done
this a long time ago. Misato-san was right all along! And to think of
all the times I zoned myself out listening to my SDAT and dreaming
about Rei. I could have been with the real thing! I should have known
better than to doubt Misato. Man, if I were to die right now, I would
die a happy man.
"Really? That's great! How's about I pick you up at seven?"
"That will be fine. I will be seeing you then."
As I watch her turn to leave, a question forms itself in my
head. Why wait until tomorrow night to spend time with her? The answer
is simple. There's no reason to.
"Is there anything else you want to say?"
"Yeah. Can I... um... walk you home?"
She gives me one of her all too rare smiles. I would never tell
Asuka, of course, but I take great pride in the fact that other than my
father, I'm the only one she smiles for. Even then, when she smiles for
my father, it's a bit forced. It's only for me that she truly smiles.
"If you wish."
I take her hand and start walking. I can't help but smile
myself as we walk hand in hand down the road to her apartment. That
wasn't so bad after all.
Author's notes and stuff:
If this fic seems a bit rushed, it's because it is. My
professors are breathing down my neck to finish my school projects, and
I was having trouble concentrating with a half-finished fic hanging
over my head. So I just finished this as fast as I could. Hopefully I
can finally get to work now.
Please send C&C to email@example.com
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The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.
Please see the Terms of Service for more information.