Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> Panic! At The Disco
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panic in the cabin
Jon walked through the cabin his bandmates had just rented looking for one person, and one person
only. "Ryan Ross!!!" He yelled. "Where the hell are you?!" They had been in the cabin for almost two
weeks, and Ryan had yet to show any progress in writitng any new music. It didn't help matters that
there were only three bedrooms, and that meant a certain 'couple' had to share. Jon was loathe to
enter Brendon and Ryans room, even if he knocked first. Last time he did, he had entered a scene,
well.....no need to go into any real detail, but it had consisted of a pink tutu, a shower curtain
rod, a bicycle helmet, and two kitchen tongs that Jon had made sure to throw out afterwards. He
walked into the kitchen, where Spencer was busy having his fifth meal of the day. "Hey, Jon, do you
know how to make pizza without all the cheese wiz falling onto the burners? Mine keeps catching on
fire." He said.
"Is that what that smell is, Spencer?" Jon asked. He'd been smelling a scent of burnt tires all day.
"And put some pants on, Spence, no one needs to see that." Ever since they'd got back from their
tour, Spencer had taken to wearing as little clothes as possible. Just then, Ryan came out, yawning.
He was shirtless, and wearing spandex hot-pink shorts.
"Is breakfast ready?" He asked.
"Ryan, it's four o'clock in the afternoon." Jon said. "Why are you sleeping so late?" Ryan just
shrugged and yawned again.
"Baby, where'd you go?" Brendon came out, wearing the matching hot-pink top to Ryan's shorts.
"Why can nobody in this place wear any pants?" Jon sighed. "And Ryan, can we get some freakin' work
done today? Pete's been on my ass for new lyrics."
"Pete?!" Ryan said ethusiastically. "Is he coming here to visit?"
"Yay, sleepover!!" Brendon screamed. "I'll go buy some popcorn and scrunchies!"
"No, he's not coming here." Jon said. Ryan and Brendon's faces fell. "Just get some flippin' lyrics
wrote, so's we can get the hell out of this cabin!" Brendon walked over to Jon, put his mouth right
by his ear, and whispered, "Instead, how about you go jump off of the roof of this cabin." Jon just
rolled his eyes. "Okay Ryan." Jon said. "Don't write lyrics. I don't care. But maybe you'll get some
'inspiration' if I sick Spencer on you....." Ryan raised his eyebrows.
"You....wouldn't........" He said. Jon picked up a can of sardines that were sitting on the counter.
"No.....Jon......" Ryan said. Jon heaved them at Ryan, splashing him with the fishy juice. Spencer
looked up, sniffing around. His eyes zeroed in on Ryan.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Ryan went screaming from the room as Spencer chased him, trying to get
at the sardines. Brendon chased after them, calling, "No!! Spencer my Rye-Rye has sensitive
skin!!!!!" Jon just laughed, and looked out the window. Suddenly he stopped. He could've sworn he'd
just seen someone outside looking in at him. He went to the window and looked around, but couldn't
see anyone. Ryans screeching continued in the background, and Jon went outside. He looked on the
dirt path that wound aroung the cabin. There were footprints right underneath the window he'd been
looking out. He looked all around the woods that surrounded him, but saw and heard nothing. He
shrugged and went back inside.
Later that night, as Jon lay awake trying to ignore the sounds coming from the room next to him, and
the sounds of the blender, microwave, and juicer coming from the kitchen, he heard another very
distinct noise. The sound of breaking glass. He sat up, because it sounded very close. Then he heard
a muffled scream coming from Brendon and Ryan's room. Going against his better judgement, he got up,
and went to their room.
"Ahhhh!! Help!!!!!" He heard Ryan scream. He opened the door, and saw the window broken.
"Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Brendon screamed. Ryan wasn't in the room.
"Brendon, what happened? Where's Ryan?" Jon asked.
"He took him! He broke in and took my daisy daffodil!!!!!" Brendon was hysterical.
"What do you mean he took him? Who?" Jon asked, going over to the window and looking out. All he
could see were the darkened woods.
"I didn't see his face because I was blindfolded. But, he broke in, and stole Ryan away!!!" Brendon
was sobbing. Jon ran downstairs. "Spencer!" He called. Spence loped out of the kitchen, still eating
his casadilla. "Spencer, someone broke in, and kidnapped Ryan!" They all ran outside, and Spencer
ran around to the back, and started sniffing around.
"Whoever it was, they went this way." Spencer pointed toward the thickest part of the forest. He
sniffed again. "Let's go." Jon ran inside, grabbed a few flashlights, and ran back out. They started
on the trail Spencer had indicated. A few miles north of the cabin, they were still searching for
"Hey, maybe we should call the cops-" Jon started, but Spencer held up his hand.
"The scent is getting stronger." He said. They continued on for another few minutes, until Spencer
suddenly stopped. Down a small sloping hill was a small but unmistakable hole, leading into a cave.
They proceeded slowly, Brendon tripping every few steps. When they were at the mouth of the cave,
they could hear voices.
"Now that I have you, the others won't be far off. I'll capture them, then I will force you to write
new songs for me, and I'll be king of the music world!!!! This plan is fool-proof!!!!!! HA HA HA HA
Brendon gasped. "I'd know that squeaky, crackly voice anywhere!!!" He ran into the cave, Spence and
Jon not far behind. They came to a candlelit place where Ryan was tied up.
"BRENT WILSON!!!!!" Brendon yelled. "I should've known."
"Yes, 'tis I, the one and only bass player for this band!!!" He gave the evil eye to Jon. "I knew
you wouldn't be able to resist coming for your guitarist and main lyricist yourselves. But there is
one thing that you didn't count on! I hired my cousin, twice removed, to deal with you all!
HOWIE!!!!" He screamed. A tall, lanky, ugly guy with a fourteen-year-old-type 'stache walked out,
his feet together.
"Hello, all." He said, in that deep kind of voice that they use on Conan O'brien to do Martha
"Howie works as a security guard at a Wal-Mart, so you know he knows what he's doing! Sick them,
Howie!" Just then, they heard the sound of helicopter blades. They looked out, and all four members
of Fall Out Boy came barging in in full ninja outfits. Patrick wobbled over to Jon.
"Don't worry, guys we totally have your back." He said. Pete came over, and kicked the crap out of
Howie. Then, punched Brent in the gibblets. The rest of Panic went to work, dismembering Brent and
burned the peices. It was the only way to destroy him. Afterward, they got into Pete's helicopter,
and flew away.
"How'd you know where we were?" Asked Jon.
Pete just shrugged. "I had you all tagged when you signed to Decaydance." They all laughed and flew
into the sunset......
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The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.
Please see the Terms of Service for more information.