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Anime/Manga Fan Fiction >> Ranma

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

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How A Martial Artist Stops a Bullet
By David A. Tatum

 







How A Martial Artist Stops a Bullet

by David A. Tatum



Note: This was an idea I had quite some time back, when there was a debate

about Martial Artists vs. Guns. I didn't refine it enough to start writing

until recently, however... Anyway, here we go...

--------------------------



Any martial artist can safely stop a bullet, if he wishes. It's rather

easy. In fact, to prove it, we sent a number of gunmen into a district of

Tokyo known as Nerima to see how they faired against the local martial

artists... this is what happened.



* * * * *



A gunman jumped out of the bushes in front of Ranma Saotome, sending a

spray of bullets at the young man.



"Ack!" Ranma cried, jumping over the initial blast. "Kachuu Tenshin

Amaguriken!" he cried, slamming the remaining bullets out of the air with

his fist.



The gunman blinked, looking at his empty gun, then back at Ranma. "Ahhh!"

he cried, sprinting off as fast as he could.



"Huh," Ranma said, shrugging. "Wonder what that was all about."



* * * * *



"So, that's 5000 yen apiece, Kunou-baby," Nabiki was saying, holding five

photos of female Ranma in various stages of undress towards the kendoist.



Someone knocked her aside, sending the photos to a puddle on the ground,

ruining them. The man who had shoved her away pulled out a gun and pointed

it at Tatewake Kunou.



Kunou, however, failed to notice the firearm. He DID, however, notice that

the photos he had been about to purchase were now lying in the mud, and

that the man standing in front of him was responsible.



"How dare you destroy such lovely visions of the pigtailed goddess! I must

teach you a lesson for such disrespect! Ya dadadadadadadadada!"



The gun went off just as Kunou's wind pressure attack went into full swing.

The bullet left the firearm's muzzle, but didn't go much further before

being pushed backwards and into the gunman.



"By wind pressure alone..." Nabiki commented, awed.



* * * * *



'Heh, all the OTHERS are being idiots- why would you shoot someone when

they might be able to fight back or run away? Fools- I'll be the only

successful assassin- I'm the only one who'll go after these guys while

they're sleeping!' a gunman thought as he snuck up on the sleeping body.

Smiling, he aimed and pulled the trigger.



The bullet bounced off of Ryouga, richocheted off a rock, and landed in a

tree less than an inch from the gunman's head.



The gunman froze as Ryouga stirred, scratching the place where the bullet

had impacted with him. "Hmm... nasty mosquitos out here," he muttered

before falling back asleep.



'I think I'll be going now,' the gunman thought.



* * * * *



"Kodachi, prepare to die!" a gunman cried, leaping into the St. Hebereke

gymnasium, his gun raised and aimed at her. He pulled the trigger.



"You think you can harm me? Ohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho!"



The bullet began to panic when it heard the horrible insane laughter.

Confused, it turned around and ran. The gunman was long gone.



* * * * *



Akane smiled and laughed at the joke Sayuri told.



"Akane, look out!" a cry came from above. Akane looked just in time to be

barrelled over by Ranma. The bullet passed over the both of them, chipping

up the pavement behind.



"Ranma no baka!" Akane shouted, malleting Ranma. "You didn't have to be so

rough!"



Well, okay, so Akane wasn't the martial artist who stopped the bullet, but

it WAS stopped by a martial artist...



* * * * *



Ukyou carried the tiny bag of tempura flakes, looking over at Konatsu with

some mild concern. "Are you sure you don't need any help with that,

sugar?" she asked.



Konatsu, carrying ten bags of Udon noodles, all of which were larger than

him, just smiled at her. "No, that's all right, Ukyou-sama. This isn't

any trouble at all..."



Ukyou just nodded, and they continued on their way.



"Ukyou, prepare to die!" a gunman cried, leaping out of the bushes and

pointing a gun at her.



"Don't worry, Ucchan! I'll save you!" someone said, jumping in front of

her and taking several pieces of lead to the chest. The gunman turned and

ran.



Ukyou ran over to her now-dead hero, tears welling in her eyes. She

sniffs, dries her tears, and smiles in relief. "Oh, good... it's not

Ranchan."



Konatsu, who'd just dragged himself over to her carrying his heavy burden.

"Who was it, then?"



Ukyou shrugged. "I dunno- probably just one of my many fanboys. Come on,

Konatsu- we have to get home before the dinner rush gets started."



* * * * *



"Can I help you?" Mousse asked a potted plant.



The gunman smiled. 'This is too easy- and it's the perfect way to make up

for that mess with that Hibiki person.' Pulling out his firearm, he took

aim and pulled the trigger. The bullet glanced off of one of the many

weapons hidden in Mousse's clothes and bounced into a wall. 'Er... maybe

I'll go after one of the girls next- these guys' hides are too tough.



* * * * *



Women are sometimes thought of as the deadlier of the species... and this

woman believed it wholeheartedly. She figured that, being female, she'd be

the one most likely to catch the target off guard. She pulled her gun out

from behind her back and leaned down, giving the old man she was hired to

kill one last show. She aimed and fired.



Happosai was not there. Instead, he was attached to her breasts.

"SWEETO!" he cried, giving them a squeeze.



Dropping her gun and screaming, the woman ran off, hoping to escape the

horrid thing...



* * * * *



Genma and Soun each laughed, hoping to distract the other long enough to

place another tile. That was when the gunman assigned to them showed up.



"Okay, you two- I'm supposed to kill both of you," he said, flashing his

revolver. "Which one of you wants to be first?"



Genma mouthed something to Soun, and then turned to the gunman.



"Oh, please, spare us!" he implored, leaping to kneel at his feet.



"Please!" Soun cried, doing the same but adding a flood of tears to his

pleas. "I'm the father of three daughters, and if I'm killed than what

will they do!"



"Spare us!"



"Don't hurt my children!"



"PLEASE!"



"WE'RE BEGGING YOU!"



The gunman started to panic. Dropping his gun, he backed away, saying,

"Ack! Okay, okay- I'm sorry! I won't kill you! I drop the gun already-

now please, stop crying!"



Finally realizing the two were past the point of reason, he turned away and

ran off.



Seeing he was gone, Genma stopped his begging. Smiling, he turned to

Soun...



"See, I told you the Crouching Tiger technique would see us through a

situation like this..."



* * * * *



Konatsu frowned. She- er, he'd been too busy carrying Ukyou's cooking

supplies to help her when that gunman showed up, and that fanboy had to

save her. HE should have been the one to protect her- after all the

kindness she had shown him, she deserved him sacrificing his life for her.



The same gunman who had shot at Ukyou showed up in front of him, pulling

out his gun. Finally, his chance!



"Don't worry, Ukyou-sama! I'll protect you!" he cried, diving to save the

girl. However, the man had not been aiming for her, but instead for

Konatsu, so the bullet went off harmlessly, merely killing another fanboy

who'd been sneaking in the shadows in order to see the object of his

affection.



* * * * *



'All right,' the gunman thought. 'The bullets bounced off both Ryouga and

Mousse... but maybe the women won't be quite so thick-skinned.' Taking

careful aim from the rooftop he pointed his gun right. Suddenly, he

thought of something else which might help. 'All right, this time I'm

aiming for the head! There isn't any way to conceal any armour up there!'



The bullet zing through the air, speeding towards the purple-haired

teenager. It went straight into Shampoo's ear...



And right out the other, with no blood or brain or anything.



"What make funny noise?" Shampoo asked. Then she shrugged and went back

to

wiping off tables.



The gunman's eyes widened. "All right, that's it!" he screamed. "I'm

killing SOMEONE, dammit!" With that, he pointed his gun at the most

vulnerable looking target- an old woman stirring some soup as she rested on

a cane, and squeezed the trigger.



Cologne batted the bullet out of the air with her staff. Not even turning

from the ramen she was making, she shouted, "You're three hundred years too

young for me, sonny... give it up..."



The gunman sighed, and decided she was right. The next day, he quit his

job as an assassin, figuring that there was only one more martial artist

left in the target list, and if he couldn't take out one of these

less-skilled fighters, he wouldn't stand a chance against the man who

consistantly beat the so-called best martial artist in the world.



* * * * *



Tarou arrogantly paraded through the streets, looking for Happosai.

Finally, he had a plan to get his name changed that would WORK, no matter

what anyone else did- all he had to do was find Happosai first.



A man jumped in front of him, tripped, stumbled, picked himself back up,

and pulled a gun on him. "Pantyhose Tarou, there's a bullet in this gun

with YOUR NAME ON IT!"



'My name... on a bullet,' Tarou thought. 'The thing which I am most

ashamed of, inscribed on metal for all eternity... oh, why-'



He wasn't able to complete that thought, however. While he was tearing

himself apart because of his name, the gunman fired and the bullet passed

right through his head...



Okay, so not EVERY martial artist is able to safely stop a bullet, but most

of them are...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sir Desaix, member # 116 of the Knights of the True Fiancee

desaix@sysnet.net

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/7872

fanfics available at

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/7872/fanfics.htm

 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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