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The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

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Thing's I'll never Say
By Jesica

 


A/n The lyrics are Avril Lavinge's from Thing's I'll never say. Hope you enjoy. I figured since I usually write a unhappy sad one-shot, I decided I'd write a happy one. So here it is.

I remember the day when you knocked on my door and asked me to go out and go for a walk, I remember the butterflies in my tummy. As I pulled on a pair skinny jeans, and tried every shirt I owned, pulling and tugging at each one, not like any of them, then finally deciding on your favorite shirt. I remember looking in the mirror playing with my hair trying to get it perfect, but failing dramatically. I remember you knocking on the door asking if I was being a beauty queen today, I remember trying to search for the word no and trying to say but for some weird reason I couldn't muster it. That was the weird thing ever since the day I found out I really like you, and I found you were the cause for these butterflies. That's how I've been, always having to search for words, always having to debate about my clothes, always having to stare at my feet when I felt the blood rush to my cheeks because you don't realize how much you make me blush.

I'm Tuggin' at my hair
I'm pulllin' at my clothes
I'm Tryin' to keep my cool
I know it shows
I'm starin' at my feet
My cheeks are turnin' red
I'm searchin' for the words inside my head


Every time you ask me to walk with you, or go with you, I get nervous nowadays. When you tell me I have bed head, I instantly grimace at the thought of not looking perfect in your presence, I mean I have to be perfect for you, your worth it, even if you don't think you are. In my mind your perfection and I'll just never be able to beat that type of perfection. But your worth it to try to match it.

I'm Feelin' nervous
Tryin' to be so perfect
`Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yea


That was the night Jon came to me asking questions, asking what was up, saying I was acting weird, was I acting weird, he told me I was acting like a high school girl. I just smiled widely, for you it's worth it. He left me shaking his head in disappoint as I didn't tell him who it was. I just smiled sheepishly and laid there on the couch watching Disney, I took a swig of red bull when you walked in.
“Can I sit down,”
You asked your voice sound so beautiful, I nodded, because I could conger up the words to tell you could. Your head laid on my tummy, while my feet were thrown over the back of the couch and my head hung over the front. I closed my eyes, I should tell you how beautiful you are, I should tell you about my dreams of you getting down on one knee asking for my hand. But I can't my thoughts are my own and I cant share them. And that's when it occurred to me, I was in PJ pants no shirt, and my hair was mess. My glasses weren't even on straight they were hanging off my head. I probably looked gross, ugly even, and to be in his presence. I tried to move but I didn't wanna make him notice my trying to quickly escape.
“Blood rushing to your head already Brenny-bear.” You asked, I blushed slightly, but it didn't matter the blood had already rushed to my head because of his voice. I nodded, as he let me sit up, I couldn't leave he'd get suspicious. My head leaned against on the arm rest, are legs getting tangled in each others, as your head found it's way back to my tummy. I wrapped my arms around, knowing that if I didn't I'd start stroking your perfect hair. You moved slightly was I squeezing you too tight, had I hurt you. You looked up at me.
“11:11 make a wish” You mumbled. And smiled widely.
If only I knew what was on your mind at that time if only I knew what your wish was. I made mine, but I wanna know what yours was, I looked down at you, you looked up at me, I got lost in your eyes, when your words broke my gaze.
“Why do you always gotta get all pretty when ever we gotta go out, I mean, I'm surprised you didn't when I went to go sit down with you,” You said.
“I ..uh..well.. I don't know.” I stuttered, trying to get the words out though my heart was beating me up for it telling me to tell him it's because he was worth looking perfect for and he shouldn't have you any other way.
“Bren, you know you are perfect no matter what you look like, don't go trying to be perfect cause of this high school girl crush.”
If only you knew, who that girl crush was, if only you knew it was you.

If I could say what I want to say
I say I wanna blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishin' my life away
these things I'll never say


“Yea, maybe your, uh, right,” I said trying to keep my cool, and not show that i was nervous. The butterflies had arrived as your finger tips danced on my skin.
“So what was your wish,” He asked.
“I.. uh..it was..uh nothing.”
“Was it about the crush.” HE asked smiling trying to now what's on my mind. But the words weren't going to leave my mouth, I wasn't going to tell you I couldn't, I every time I did the words come out all wrong, and it always ends with a never mind.

It don't do me any good
It's just a waste of time
What use it to you
What's on my mind
If it ain't comin' out
Were not goin any where
So why can't I just tell you that I care


“Well are you going to tell me,”
My heart began to race, more butterflies began fluttering. You could probably here my heart racing and skipping beats.
“Well.”
Had I paused that long, I spoke, “Uh…um..maybe.” Hesitation and nervousness noticeable in my voice, I beat myself up mentally for it. Now he thinks you can't speak English. If only he knew it was him. My god, just use your words Urie. Tell him you care.

`Cause I'm feelin nervous
Tryin' to be so perfect
`Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yea


If only I could tell him my wish was to see him down on one knee, asking for my hand. If he knew I got all perfect and was a beauty queen to try and blow him away, he might just melt, or freak out..
“So that's yes, who is it, I wanna know,” You begged giving me puppy dog eyes, that I couldn't resist. You were so cute I could just kiss you. No, no I couldn't tell you.
“I wanna know,” You whined, god I couldn't resist, I bit down on my lip.

If I could say what I want to say
I say I wanna blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishin' my life away
these things I'll never say
.

Remembering the first time I went to go tell you that I've fallen for you, the words came out all jumbled, all in one breath, hell you couldn't even tell I said something. You looked at me confused, you looked so cute confused. So I tried again, stumbling over my words, stuttering as I started. Gosh I must have sounded so stupid. Had you thought I sounded stupid god, if you thought I sound stupid, I would have felt stupid, come to think of it I did feel stupid. I remember looking away down at my feet, and blushing furiously before whispering nevermind and walking away. The words always came out but they always came out in gibberish.

What's wrong with my tongue
These words keep slippin' away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I've got nothing to say


“Brendon Boyd Urie, tell me now I wanna know, please,” You begged, your hair falling out of place, you looked beautiful. Even then. Why you made me feel this way I wouldn't know, I hadn't felt this way about anyone ever, then you came along, and I discovered these feelings and instead of pushing them away I embraced them. Now I try to be perfect when I'm around you and you haven't even figured it out, I hoped you would, so I wouldn't have to say.

`Cause I'm feelin nervous
Tryin' to be so perfect
`Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yea


I guess this is how every high school girl feels like when they're around there crush. They feel like there legs turned to jell-o at the sound of there voice, they start to melt at there touch, there heart races, and those damn butterflies flutter, as your nervousness kicks in. God I wanna tell you but these words I cant say, there to hard, and you make me to nervous, I know if I told you I'd feel the lifting of weight off my shoulders, and these butterflies would calm, but I can't I want to but I can't.

Yes, I'm wishin' my life away
These things I'll never say

I mean I dream of you falling on one knee and proposing, I dream of having you all to myself, and hold you every night, but I can't muster those words, so it'll always remain a dream, a wish to be with you.
“Bren, you gonna tell me,” I could feel you fingers dancing up and down my tummy. I had to close my eyes to keep you from seeing them roll, as I melted under your touch. Cant you see it isn't it obvious I want you, day and night, I want you to hold forever and always, I wanna marry you, damn it cant you see that boy. I wanted to scream but couldn't.

If I could say what I want to say
I say I wanna blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down

On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishin' my life away
these things I'll never say


“Well are you,” I opened my eyes to see you inches from my face, If I pulled you down you'd crash to my lips. But I had to push this temptation aside, I thought , but my heart thought differently if I couldn't tell him show him. I pulled him down by his shirt and kissed him, waiting for him to pull away, but he didn't he didn't pull away at all. I kissed him softly once more, breaking away for air, I blushed feverishly and turned to watch the T.V.
“I'm sorry Ryan,” I muttered, and started to get up but found myself trapped. I looked at you in awe, you hand cupped my chin bringing my face close to yours. “You don't have to try to be perfect for me, you already are.” You whispered and kissed my lightly. “Fall asleep with me,” You looked so sweet and innocent as you said it, I shook my head, still in shock of your acceptance of my love for you.

 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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