Mascot "Kumi" © 2005 Chastain & Fan Works Inc. All Rights Reserved. Mascot "Kumi" © 2005 Chastain & Fan Works Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Memorial - In Loving Memory of Chester Gregorich, 1981-2005
Home | Directory | Help & Tools | Just In! | [Search]
[Log In | Join]
Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> Panic! At The Disco

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.


[View Printer Friendly Version]

Why'd You Leave
By Jesica


I was sprawled out on my bed watching Aladdin, when the phone rang it was probably Spencer he calls at least 1 every 2 hours to see if I'm okay. Why they wont leave me alone I don't know. I needed space, I needed to be able to breathe that's why I left and I wasn't going to go back, I wasn't in the mood, and I didn't have to the time. I grabbed the Jack Daniel's and took a swig of it. I had been gone for at least 8 months now, had a job making coffee to pay the rent for the apartment. The phone stopped ringing I smiled at that, the answering machine had picked it up.
“Ryan I know for a fact your there pick up.”
Spencer I rolled my eyes, and took another swig of the alcohol. The phone rang again, why wont they leave me alone. It stopped and I sighed, I turned back to watching the movie the TV screen had become a blur of colors. The phone rang again. I threw the glass bottle at it hoping it would turn the damn thing off but it hadn't. I sighed in frustration and picked it up, then hung up on whoever was on the other line. I unplugged the phone. I stumbled back to my bed and collapsed.

**Next morning**
My head was throbbing, and my legs felt as though they wouldn't work. I stood, and almost fell, but caught my self. I walked to the mirror and looked at myself, my hair was a mess and my eyes glared at me, like this was stupid, like I was stupid, I rolled them. There was bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. I opened the mirror not wanting to stare at myself any longer, and grabbed the Excedrin. My alarm clock went off, and I sighed, I had to get to work in an hour. I climbed in the shower, 30 minutes that's all I needed.
**After work**
“Hey George-o,” I smiled it was Theresa
“Hey Teri,” I said acknowledging her.
“You look like shit,”
“I know I feel that way too,”
“I'll cover your shift tomorrow if you want so you can catch up on your z's,”
“No I'll be good,”
“Well your gonna be late for work,” She said tossing me my pizza hat and uniform. I sighed, pizza deliveries ugh, those were the worst.
“Hey west coaster,” My friend and follow Dominos guy greeted.
“Hey Marc,”
“You look,”
“Like shit,” I finished.
“I was gonna say hell but shit works too,”
“So where's the first pizza go,”
“New Market, but hey I've been thinking maybe you could make the pizzas today I mean you look,”
“But I can't cook,”
“Yes you can, I saw you making pizzas just the other day,”
“Cause you told me to.”
“But they were awesome pizzas, George-o so go make some more today,” I sighed there was never a winning argument with Marc.
“You making pizza's with me?” I questioned.
“Good,” I smirked, before throwing a pepperoni at him.
“That a boy,” He smirked back.
**Closing time**
“Well George-o it's closing time,”
“Good night Marc,” I said walking to my car.
“Wait George-o,” He said and caught me before I was about to climb in my car.
“Okay I think I figured out where your from,”
“Okay,” I said confused that was impossible he couldn't have figured it out, could he have.
“I was looking around my sisters room for her Panic! CD and then I saw a poster with Panic! On it and I was like wow that one guy looks really familiar well, I decided I'd ask you before I jumped to conclusions, but if you are then your from Summerlin, Nevada? Right.” He exclaimed all in one breath.
“If I tell you the answer will you promise not to tell,”
“Yes I am the guitarist of Panic!,”
“Sweet, one more question,”
“Why cant I tell,”
“Cause I don't want anyone to know, I'm dead for all anyone cares, just don't bring it up, promise me Marc,”
“You have my word,” He said and smiled, before skipping away. I shrugged and climbed in the car. My mind wondered as I drove down each street, and turned into the parking lot. Climbing out of my car, my mind racing at full speed, my heart began to skip beats, then it all stopped when my eyes landed on the lanky boy standing against the wall, his back towards me. It couldn't be it was impossible. No one knew where I was, not even him.
“Can I help you?” I asked my words so quiet I could barely hear them, he turned to face me and sure as day it was him, his smile painted on his face grew bigger as our eyes locked. He ran to me, and pulled me into a hug, I lost my balance and fell.
“RYAN I MISSED YOU SO MUCH,” He shouted in joy.
“George, is something wrong out there,” my neighbor yelled through closed doors.
“No ma'am just someone I wasn't expecting,”
“Just checking, you sounded like you were being mugged,”
I chuckled, mugged by Brendon no, the only thing he ever stole from me was my heart, then he left me for another, time after time. But he never really left cause he never really knew how much I actually cared. Hell he was straight.
“Bren, can you get off of me please,” I pleaded, and he stood, helping me back to my feet.
“You wanna come in,” I asked as we reached my door.
He shook his head vigorously, and I opened it up forgetting how messy it actually was he stepped inside, I followed after shutting the door. I looked around my room was a wreck, the TV, was old and the screen was cracked, the place just wasn't clean there was a pizza box laying on the counter, and gummy bears sprawled out on the couch. My bedroom door was wide open, there was clothes laying every where, there was empty Monster cans laying on the floor as well. I blushed looking down at my feet how could I have let my apartment get this dirty. Then again how did he find me.
“How did you find me,” I asked the question finally coming out, I hadn't looked up didn't want to, I walked to the fridge and pulled out a monster, and chugged it before throwing away the empty can. Normally I would have thrown it in the sink that was already full of them, but I decided against it, Brendon was here.
“OW,” He shouted ignoring my question, I hopped the counter and stood in front of him, I looked at the floor, there was blood and glass.
“IT BURNS,” he shouted, the alcohol.
“I should've told you not to take your shoes off,” I smiled, and picked him up bridal style caring him into the bathroom, I sat him down on the toilet. Pulling the glass out from his foot and fixing it up.
“Were you drinking or something.”
“I got mad at the phone,” I smirked .
“WHY?” He asked lifting my face to his, I was on my knees and he was bent over looking at me.
I didn't answer I hadn't known why, some days I just felt like I needed to drink like my problems would go away.
“Why?” He's voice un-playful and demanding.
“I don't know,” I mumbled.
The room fell silent, stood there was no point to this, I washed my hands.
“Why are you here any way,” I hissed as I looked at myself in the mirror.
“Because, you wouldn't pick up your phone,” He stated.
“Figures that would be the only reason you'd come,”
“Why the fuck did you leave,” He was getting annoyed he was so cute when he was annoyed
“Because I did I had my reasons,”
“To not call, or let us know you were okay,” He was holding back.
“Yes okay, I don't wanna talk about it,”
“Then when do you wanna talk about it,”
“Never, I don't ever wanna talk about it, why don't you just go home to your little wife, or your girlfriend or which ever it is you have nowadays, you always seem to be switching it up,”
“I've only proposed twice.”
“Oh so this one will be the third time right,”
“NO RYAN IT WON'T THERE IS NO THIS ONE, THERE IS NO GIRL, NONE , NADA, NOTHING, I'M SICK OF THIS BULLSHIT RYAN, WHY THE HELL DID YOU LEAVE,” He was beyond pissed, but he didn't wanna show all of his cards not at once, no, he was from Nevada, we Nevada boys were taught better than that.
“Why do you care,” I demanded I wasn't In the mood and I wasn't going to yell at him no, not yet, not till I knew where this was going.
“BECAUSE I DO RY-RY, I CARE ABOUT YOU, YOUR ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS, and that's what best friends are supposed to do,” He said his tone began to soften but never lose it's touch of bitterness.
“Is that all?” I asked.
“Well you stopped,”
“Well I hoped there was,”
“WELL,” He began to yell but took a deep breath instead before finishing.
“Well it is all that I need to say, but are you going to answer my question about why you left?”
I took a deep breath, here goes nothing here goes nothing at all.
“I left cause I was heart broken, because I fell in love with you, and didn't have enough nerve to tell you, and I couldn't sit back and watch you get married after almost losing you to someone once, so I left, I figured you couldn't possibly love me the same way, cause your straight.” I sighed my voice had gone out on the last few words. I stared down at my feet, not wanting to see his reaction. There was slow footsteps, then he brushed against my shoulder, Tears began to come softly and quietly. I could hear the door knob turning.
“I shouldn't have come back, you were right to leave,” His voice was softer than a whisper and I could still hear it. The door closed slowly behind him. That's what I get for wearing my heart on my sleeve and letting him inside. I fell to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest, his last sentence to me echoing in my head clearer then day as tears poured down my face like rain, my heart felt like it had been torn apart and shred into tiny pieces that couldn't possibly be put back together. I didn't move as the door opened, I pulled my legs closer to me.
“Ryan, you still here,” A voice whispered, it was Brendon.
“What the fuck do you want now, another reason to rip my heart out, tare it into shreds.” My words coming out bitter and cold.
“Go away Brendon, I'm just another reject, why don't you just go be all pretty in pink and go some place else,”
“Cause Ryan, I'd rather not see anyone put my baby in a corner,” He said, I could tell he was smiling but I wasn't in a playful mood.
“Ryan, come on, I wasn't expecting me to be the reason you left,”
I didn't care, how he felt, cause he didn't feel the same if he was happy without me then so be it let him be happy without.
“Ryan, look, I fell for you once, but I figured if I found someone else, some girl, something to prove to everyone I was straight, my family would except me more.”
I had my ears mistaken me, had he said he once fell for me.
“It just took me back, that you actually fell for me too, Ryan if I had known, I would have taken you right then and there, I mean your one of those people, that have dazzling eyes, a great personality, and the more I stare at you, the more i just wanna rip your clothes off. But I never knew Ryan, I wouldn't have cared what others thought Ryan, cause I loved you,”
My heart crashed just as fast as it had lifted. The love he used was past tense.
“You don't love me anymore,” My words were a whisper.
“No Ryan, I do, but I cant love you if you don't come back,”
“This is a scheme to make me come back, Spencer and Jon set you up to,” I said harshly. I looked up at him for the answer, but instead found his lips brush against mine softly then landing, it took me back had he just kissed me. My fingers entwined in his soft hair, pulling him down to where I was as I kissed him back. His hands slid under my shirt.
“Did you lock the door,”
“No,” He stood abruptly leaving and then came back his shirt missing, I smiled staring at his body. He pulled me to my feet, leading me to my bed. I pushed him to it, and climbed above him, I nibbled at his neck and then continued my way down with butter fly kisses to I got to the top of his jeans. I unzipped them, pulled the down, and threw his skinny jeans to the floor somewhere else. I slowly pulled down his boxers to release his harden cock. I looked back at him.
“You sure,”
“Bout anal sex, as much as I dreamed of it with you, I'm not ready, but for you to do this, yes, I very much so ready,”
I smiled at that.


The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

[Return to Top]

TOS  |  Privacy Policy  |  Questions/Comments?  |  Found a bug?  |  Report violations of the TOS
Powered by E-FanWorks v3.9.9b © Null Referrence Software 2003-2006