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Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> Panic! At The Disco

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

 

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First time
By Jesica

 


Brendon stared down at his feet as he watched Ryan talk to Spencer and Jon. He hadn't spoken up and joined in the conversation his eyes were to fixated on the guitarist his silhouette cast on the wall by the lamps in the hotel room. He watched the way Ryan's mouth moved so gracefully almost like watching a ballet. He listened to the sound of his voice so mesmerizing, it caught all of his attention, his words always sounding like a symphony when he spoke. He watched as his hair swayed slightly as he shook his head in acknowledgement of something one of the other two boys had said. The man was so compelling, so addictive, that he took all of his awareness of anything away and focused it all on him. But Brendon couldn't tell Ryan that, Brendon couldn't tell Ryan how much he truly cared, because he was afraid to and in his mind it was easier to hide his feelings from Ryan, even though it was always getting harder. He was broken from his fixation as a hand waved in front of his face.
“We're going out with Pete, Ryan's staying here you coming,” Jon asked.
“No,” his voice said no, Jon shrugged leaving with Spencer, his voice only said no, because he was in the same room with Ryan. They sat in silence, both staring at each other, both not knowing what to say, both unknowing of what would happen next.

We're both looking for something
We've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken
It's easier to hide


Ryan moved to sit next to Brendon on the bed, The silence killing both of them, Brendon's thoughts ran wild as Ryan sat next him. He wanted to tell him, let him inside his head, let him inside his heart and tell him something, he turned to Ryan. His hands shaking, he was scared to death. He held breath as he looked into those honey brown eyes of his, getting lost in them. He exhaled, the words fell from his lips without thinking, “Ryan can we talk.”

Looking at you, holding my breath,
For once in my life,
I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance,
letting you inside.

“What is it?” Ryan had asked Brendon took a deep breath, his hands still shaking. Ryan placed his over Brendon's holding them tight, they relaxed, but he was still scared. His heart pounding in his chest he swore Ryan could see it about to pound out of him. He took another deep breath, and opened his mouth words, never escaping. They were stuck in his throat.
“Take your time Brendon, we always have time,” Ryan said and took him into a friendly embrace, Brendon wished it was more, he wished he could be forever in those arms, as Ryan pulled away.

Feeling alive all over again,
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says
For the first time
Maybe I'm wrong,
But I'm feeling right where I belong
With you tonight
Like being in love
To feel for the first time
.

He took a deep breath, looking into the older man's eyes getting lost in a world that was inside him, in a person that wanted to escape, in a person needing to feel compassion like he had never felt before. Brendon spoke, his words coming out in gibberish at first, but then turning into words.

The world that I see inside you
Waiting to come to life
Waking me up to dreaming
Reality in your eyes
.

“Ryan, you steal my breath away, when I look at you, your so compelling and appealing, that I can't help but lose my attention just looking at you, Ryan I think I love you, no I know I love you,” he said waiting for his response, he held his breath, he was scared to death. He had taken a risk, a chance at letting him into his heart, now all he could do was wait for Ryan's reaction they sat in silence, neither moving, as Brendon played with the sheets waiting for a response. He didn't dare look at Ryan, he couldn't not if his face held rejection

Looking at you,
Holding my breath,
For once in my life
I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance,
Letting you inside.


Brendon glanced up at Ryan who was still staring at him.
“Ryan I shouldn,” Brendon's words were cut off as Ryan's lips brushed up against his, he could fill his slow breathing, Brendon closed the space, between them , and for the moment everything felt so right, this felt so right.

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time
.

He pulled back the passion lost to swirl in the in the air surrounding the both of them. Neither knew what to do, neither knew as they stared into each others eyes, as if they were both trapped in each others gaze. Brendon shouldn't have told him, it was stupid, now neither of them knew what they were getting themselves into. But that didn't matter to Brendon, if he got himself in this mess, at least now it was with Ryan, he felt at ease, he felt calm and comforted. Ryan embraced him and held him, Brendon felt at home in those arms, but this embrace was different this wasn't the normal embrace he had gotten all those times before, this was one of compassion.

We're crashing
Into the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home


Ryan held onto Brendon not wanting to let go, not caring who walked into see what was going on. Brendon didn't move didn't flinch, he didn't know what to do, he had expected rejection and gotten acception. He breathed in deep and slow, his heart was still pounding in his chest, the older mans arms still wrapped around him.
“Do you love me too,” Brendon's words were soft as they echoed in the silence.
“I feel alive all over again hearing you say you love me,” Ryan started and stopped as he sighed heavily. He pulled away, and Brendon felt empty, he looked away from those sweet honey brown eyes, to look at the white sheets that might end up stained in heartbreak.

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time
.

Ryan's pointer finger slid under Brendon's chin softly and delicately, lifting Brendon's face to look at Ryan.
“It's like being in love to feel for the first time, not that you've told me you love me,” Ryan said softly his words coming right above a whisper as he spoke them, then his lips crashed on to Brendon's, with more passion, and needing then any that had ever kissed his lips before. He smiled into the kiss, and Ryan slightly broke free leaving little space for Brendon to breathe as the older man had fallen on top of him, but Ryan's air was enough for him.
“I love you.” Ryan's words were like a lullaby a sweet, soft, simplistic, and breathtaking lullaby to Brendon's ears, the words he had been waiting to hear forever were finally spoken with truth and compassion.

 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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