Mascot "Kumi" © 2005 Chastain & Fan Works Inc. All Rights Reserved. Mascot "Kumi" © 2005 Chastain & Fan Works Inc. All Rights Reserved.
 
Memorial - In Loving Memory of Chester Gregorich, 1981-2005
Home | Directory | Help & Tools | Just In! | [Search]
[Log In | Join]
Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> My Chemical Romance

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

 

[View Printer Friendly Version]

Impossible to Find...
By restinpieceslover

 

A/N: This is a songfic, based on the lyrics for "FALL FOR YOU" by SECONDHAND SERENADE. I do not own the song, and I only changed one word in the chorus to make it suitable for slash.

________________________________________________________

DISCLAIMER: This story is not approved, endorsed, or connected in any way to the members or management of My Chemical Romance.


This story is completely fictional and does not represent the views, policies, or practices of My Chemical Romance.


Don't own (only wish I did), didn't happen, don't sue.

_______________________________________________________


"The best thing about tonight is that we're not fighting.

Could it be that we have been this way before?

I know you don't think that I am trying.

I know you're wearing thin down to the core...."



I sit across from you at the kitchen table, as we sip our coffees in silence. It's already after sundown, but drinking coffee seems to be the only thing we can do together without being at each other's throats. I almost can't remember a time when were like this, so peaceful. It feels so far away.


It seems as if that's really all we do lately. Every evening is another argument between us, another night spent apart because one of us stomps angrily out of the apartment. Though I'm usually the one to leave, and that only worsens the guilt I carry on my shoulders, and in my heart, which has become too heavy for my legs to carry it. I know you think I do it on purpose, leave you every night, but it's only so I don't have to watch the tears form in your eyes, knowing that they are all because of me. I know you don't think I'm trying to fix this, but the truth is, I simply can't find the strength in myself to even try. What's worse, I know it's killing you more every day.


I know that I need to fix this, tonight.


"But hold your breathe,

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again.

Don't make me change my mind.

Or I won't live to see another day,

I swear it's true.

Because a boy like you is impossible to find.

You're impossible to find..."


Do you remember the night I first told you that I loved you? I do, so clearly in my mind, clear like the sky above us that night, clear like your eyes, and the love that you held in them, it was all so pure. There was a full moon out that night as we sat on the swings in a park in Jersey, not speaking simply because we didn't have to. The sky was almost bright with possibilities, as were our hearts, because we had our whole lives ahead of us. Our fingers were entwined and our eyes sparkled whenever we looked at each other, because there was something in our hearts that was so new, so fresh, and so pure, and oh, what I would give to have that back. And I wanted to wish upon a star, but I couldn't because there were no stars out. But I realized I didn't need that star in the sky, that orb of gases that is the root of so many cliches, because I had the only wish I could ever want, and he was sitting in the swing next to me with a heart full of everything beautiful. I remember turning to you, with nothing but love in my eyes, and saying, "I love you", and these were the only words that could ever come close to explaining the explosions I felt throughout my entire body whenever I looked at you, but dear god, I still feel those same explosions, even now. And you simply smiled and said, "I love you." There was no 'too' at the end of it, because to say "I love you too" would only cheapen the declaration. And we simply smiled and continued looking up at the sky, at the lives we had ahead of us now that we knew for certain that we had each other in our future. Nothing else needed to be said, we already knew everything we needed to know.


And all I want right now is to give you back that night. All I want tonight is to fall in love with you all over again, and it's really not such a hard task, seeing as it happens every time I look at you. And I'm praying to every force out there that you won't fight me on this, because I swear on everything beautiful that if you go another moment without knowing how much I still love you, I won't live to see tomorrow. I know you'll probably refuse to believe this, but every word of it is true. And there's nobody out there who can come even close to the beauty that is you, because your kind of beauty is impossible to find. And I'm having a hard time just finding you, because you hide yourself away from me now. You're the one thing in my life that I'll always be sure about, and even you have become impossible to find...


"This is not what I intended.

I always swore to you I'd never fall apart.

You always thought that I was stronger.

I may have failed,

But I have loved you from the start..."


I never wanted us to become this way, no, this was never in my plan. I always thought I'd be there for you, because you're just so beautifully fragile. I always thought I would be your protector, and I know you thought of me as just that. And yet it feels like I have been unable to protect you from the one thing I had control over; me. I've failed you, but although it may seem otherwise, I have never stopped loving you just as much as I did the day I met you, if not more. Don't you ever, EVER think that I have stopped loving you from the very beginning, or that I won't love you until the very end.


"But hold your breathe.

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again.

Don't make me change my mind,

Or I won't live to see another day.

I swear it's true.

Because a boy like you is impossible to find.

It's impossible...


So breathe in so deep,

Breathe me in.

I'm yours to keep.

And hold onto your words,

'Cause talk is cheap.

And remember me tonight

When you're asleep..."


Take a deep breath, and remember it, because it will be the last one you will take while thinking that I've given up. Nothing you can say or do will hinder me from doing this, from fixing this. I am never leaving your side, I'm yours forever and then some. You are my addiction, and I refuse to give you up. Tonight you will fall asleep in my arms, and you will dream of me. But you won't dream of the monster I have become, no, you'll dream of the boy you kissed under the mistletoe so many years ago, before all the fame, the fans. You'll dream of the man I promise to be from now on, the man I should have been from the very beginning.


"Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again.

Don't make me change my mind.

Or I won't live to see another day,

I swear it's true.

Because a boy like you is impossible to find.

Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again.

Don't make me change my mind.

Or I won't live to see another day,

I swear it's true."


And I'm ready now, I'm ready to fall in love with you all over again. And as I said, it's not such a difficult task. In fact... 


I raise my eyes from my coffee mug and just look at you, and there it is. I swear, every emotion I've ever felt for you has just run through me within a matter of seconds, and it's here, I love you just as much as I did the first moment I ever laid eyes on you. Nothing anyone can say or do will ever change this. I could search the world for someone that comes even remotely close to making me feel this way, but I won't find anyone, because a boy like you is impossible to find. I won't live another day without you, I promise you that now.


It's not until moments later that I realize I've said almost all of this out loud, and I'm now standing in front of you, my lips pressed lightly to yours, and tears are streaming down your face. With much hesitation, I pull away, and you look up at me with disbelieving eyes.


"Because a boy like you is impossible to find.

You're impossible to find..."


"Why me, Frank?" you ask me, and I know you already know the answer, we both do. I know you're just asking for reassurance. I know you just want to hear me say it, because talk is cheap, but words are worth everything and more. I cup your cheeks in my hands and look you in the eyes, our breath combining and ghosting over each other's lips.


"Because, Gerard. A boy like you is impossible to find."


________________________________________________


A/N: Good lord, that's the fluffiest thing I've ever written, hands down. But oh well, I had a lot of fun writing it, I was actually on the verge of tears a few times, go figure. 


Once again, the song used for this is "FALL FOR YOU" by SECONDHAND SERENADE. Check it if you don't already know it.

 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

[Return to Top]

TOS  |  Privacy Policy  |  Questions/Comments?  |  Found a bug?  |  Report violations of the TOS
Powered by E-FanWorks v3.9.9b © Null Referrence Software 2003-2006