Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> My Chemical Romance
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What the heart
By Spaztastic Pansy
My eyes fluttered open unwillingly. Today was the day. It
was the day that the love of my life was going to go off with another. I laid there not caring to
get up or the fact that I had to pee really badly. I just stayed where I was looking up to the
ceiling of my bunk in which Franks is right above mine. I could feel tears fill my eyes thinking
about him and how my dream from the night before teased me so much, I actually thought that Frank
was really there with me and we were in fact making love! God how I hate life and all that it has to
offer. Nothing has gone right thus far in it? Why live the rest… well there's my family,
friends and fans. The three F's in my life and I can't let them down. No I wouldn't let any of them
I couldn't bring myself to do that to them, it wouldn't be fair. I sighed and pulled the covers off
of me and I got up out of my warm safe bed, my bed where I can go to sleep and dream of what my life
would be like if Frank was actually part of it… it's not that he isn't it's just he's not
really… oh what am I saying? But I think I'm trying to say that I wish he was actually in a
relationship with me and we were the ones starting a new life as one, yeah! that's what I meant!
I looked around and noticed that the others were already up and getting dressed for the wedding
today. I went to the bathroom and knocked. No answer. I walked into the bathroom and locked the door
behind be and went to the toilet and relieved myself then flushed then moved over to the sink and
washed my hands, face, brushed my teeth and combed my hair out. ``look at yourself… your
pathetic…'' I said to myself with a laugh then left the bathroom to get dressed. When I
walked out I bumped into someone. I looked up to see it was Frank.
``Oh Gerard! I'm so sorry I didn't know you were there!'' he said in a rush. I looked him up and
down and noticed that he was dressed in his tux already, oh god he looked amazing. So handsome and
nice and clean, Frank was always a clean person, he hated germs. There wasn't a wrinkle to be found
on him nor stray hairs, nothing was wrong with him. He was perfect.
``it's alright'' I said to him giving him a fake smile and he smiled back at me. His beautiful
smile, I loved to see him smile. He was just so good looking when he smiled and it just swelled your
heart to see it too. Oh god I'm getting all mushy now… I let him get past me so he could
finish what he was going to do then I retreated to the back of the bus where my tux happened to be.
And what sucks about this day most? Well Frank asked me to be the best man… fuck… how
unfair?! I'm the best man to the man I love more then my life it's self wedding?! But I couldn't say
no because he was giving me that smile and I said yes automatically not thinking about what I was
saying until he hugged me saying how happy he was to know that I said yes.
I got dressed and made sure my hair was nice and neat and no makeup on my face what so ever. Just
plain old me, the normal me not the guy who people see on stage the person who has feelings and
cares about others, oh well I'm just going on now. Around one o'clock we were all at the church
where Frank and Jamia were going to be united. I was walking through the church and ran into Jamia.
``hey Gerard'' she said with a smile I could tell she was nervous right now.
I smiled at her ``hey'' I couldn't hate her, never she was such a nice person and if I was to be
happy for Frank being with anyone else that wasn't me I'm glade to know it's here, she has such a
big heart and cares for others, and she's always been there for all of us when we needed help. But
still in the back of my mind and heart I was jealous of her which was slowly turning to hate. I was
jealous because she was with Frank and not I… yes I know it sounds childish, but I don't care
it's the truth and other people would probably feel the same way if they were in my shoes. I know
that for damn sure! And if they weren't then I would have to say what the hell is wrong with you?!
``you know you look amazing'' I said to her with a smile on my face trying to feel happy for her.
And she smiled back at me.
``thanks Gerard this means a lot to me, I love him so much and I'm really happy this day has finally
come, I'm just so nervous! Thinking about this day all the time and I had no clue it was going to be
so… well nerve racking!'' she said her voice shaking a little bit.
``hey don't worry about it and you two are really cute together and you two will be really happy'' I
said to her trying to calm her nerves a little but I didn't think it would help… hey I tried
that's all that counts, Jamia smiled back up to me and gave me a hug and I could here her say thank
you. We talked for a few more minutes and I watched her as she went back to her room to finish
getting ready for the ceremony, which was going to start in a few minutes. And I well I went back to
the room Frank was waiting in. I walked in and noticed how nerve racking he was acting, he was
fumbling over his bowtie. I walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. ``hey let me help
you with that.'' I said to him and he smiled.
``thanks'' was what he said to me as I started to tie it for him. First I had to take the knot out
of it that he created trying to tie the damn thing in the first place. It was very awkward between
us. I had to tell him I had to tell Frank how I felt yeah.. I know not the right time but it had to
``Frank?'' I said and his eyes locked onto mine ``I have to tell you something'' I started feeling
my heart beat so fast that it felt like it was going to break my rib cage, that's how fast and how
hard it was beating. I was so worried that he would laugh and tell me I was being silly and that he
almost got him that time. I bit my lower lip to what I had to say but it had to be said I had to get
it off my chest and out in the open so he would know, and I didn't have to go on day after day
thinking about the day I should of told him how I felt about him but never did. But now is my chance
go on Gerard! Tell him here's here alone with you! I opened my mouth again but the words were stuck
in my throat.
``Gerard? Are you ok?'' I heard Frank ask as he placed a hand on my shoulder and looking into my
eyes to see if anything was wrong with me. I shook my head to his question.
``Frank to tell you the truth no.. I'm not ok'' I said to him right then I blurted it out ``Frank
I'm in love with you!'' I said to him closing my eyes right now, I felt so.. School girlish closing
my eyes waiting for the leader of the football team to answer me with his reply, I stood there
waiting for him to answer me, but instead of words I felt hands on my cheeks and lips upon my own.
The warm soft feeling of the lips just like the ones I imagined in my dreams. I opened my eyes again
when Frank pulled away from the kiss and looked to me.
``oh Gerard…'' Frank started ``I love you too… I just never realized how much you
actually cared for me and last night when you told me that you loved me, my heart stopped then I
brushed it off I just thought you were just saying that.'' he said and I could see him blushing. ``I
really do love you too'' Frank said looking back to me eyes locked onto mine. I could feel tears in
my eyes as he said that to me.
Could this be true? Could my love really be standing here in front of me telling me that he loves
me?! No… I can't be. ``Oh please don't let this be a dream.'' I begged because if this was
another cruel dream of mine I would just die, I really would I couldn't have my heart hurt this much
again, it wouldn't be right.
``Gerard.. This isn't a dream I can tell you that much.'' Frank said to me kissing me again to show
that it wasn't a dream and the difference between my dream and now is, well I could feel the love
Frank has for me in his kiss. That's how I can tell right now that it's not another dream I'm
having. I wrapped my arms around Frank holding him closely to me. I took in his smell and the
feeling of his body against mine. My life was complete right now, nothing could change this and
nothing could take him away from me. Right now all of the problems and everything else in this world
was at loss right now. Nothing mattered to me and I doubt anything mattered to Frank.
``Gerard… what about my wedding? I'm suppose to go out in a few minutes'' he said to me and
my heart sank, that's right I almost forgot that he was marrying Jamia today…
I gave frank a smile ``I have an idea'' he said to me and pulled me over to the desk that was there,
he sat down and started to write with me holding his left hand as he did so, I was reading over his
shoulder and when he was done he smiled and nodded alright. Then we left the room leaving the
written piece of paper on the desk.
``Frank?'' I said knocking on the door but there was no answer from within the room. I opened the
door of the room my soon to be husband was suppose to be in. I closed the door behind me and looked
around it looked as if he wasn't even in here. ``Frankie?'' I called for him and took another look
around the room and noticed a folded piece of paper leaning against a vase of roses with my name on
it. I walked up to the paper and picked it up and looked around. I opened the note and started to
I wanted to let you know that I love you more then anything in this world, but I don't think were
meant to be. I'm sorry to say that I'm not truly in love with you, in fact I'm in love with another.
I never wanted to hurt you nor hurt myself, and I truly did love you and I still do. You're an
amazing person, but my heart does belong to another, and I know that right now your probably crying
and asking why I'm doing this to you. And I hate the fact that I'm doing this to you. But you have
to understand, and I'll understand that you don't or never want to see me or talk to me again, but
you have to know and I couldn't get married to and end up leaving you later in life. I want you to
find someone who will treat you like the queen. A jewel, a star and someone who will never let you
go no matter what, and someone who will always be there for you and will give you his heart for the
rest of his life, but I'm not that person. And I love all the time we shared together I'll cherish
it for the rest of my life, you'll always be in my heart for as long as I live, and that's the
Tears ran down my cheeks as I finished the letter, I folded it back up and held it to my heart
and smiled. I walked over to the window to see Frank and Gerard running out of the church hand in
hand. And I resized Frank was never mine, I always knew it wasn't I who he really loved and for some
reason I'm glade he choose to go for the one he loves, I could never hate Frank nor Gerard for
taking him on my wedding day. I was happy for him and I knew from the way he always talked about
Gerard and looked at him he was in love. I smiled again with the tears running down my face not from
sadness but from happiness, that's just been swelling up right now. ``I love you two Frank'' I said
to myself holding the letter and watching them go off down the road hand in hand.
I was so filled with happiness right now. As we ran out of the church I could see from the window of
the room in which Frank and I had just left was Jamia watching us leave with one another and she was
smiling, I'm guessing she was happy for us, and I surely hoped she understood. ``Gerard?'' I hear
Frank say and I looked in his direction and smiled.
``yeah?'' I said never happier. Frank smiled up to me.
``I love you so much.'' was all he said as we got to my car and I opened the passengers side and
opened it up, letting him and closing the door behind him after he got in, and I climbed in on the
drivers side and started the car and pulled away from this place onto a new road with a new life and
a new day ahead of us. ``where are we going?'' Frank asked me and I just smiled and replied.
``where ever, it doesn't matter to me for all I care I could drive till the ends of time as long as
I'm with you in the end.'' I said to him and continued to drive and thought about a letter I had to
write to my family and a sorry note to Jamia having to tell all of our families what happened, but
all of that can wait for now, as long as I have Frank by my side nothing can bother me.
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The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.
Please see the Terms of Service for more information.