Anime/Manga Fan Fiction >> Ranma ½
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COPS Galaxy Police
By Jesse Lockheart
Legal mumbo jumbo: All Tenchi Muyo characters
are property of AIC/Pioneere. Cops and Homer Simpson are property
of Fox Broadcasting. Ranma is property of Rumiko Takahashi. Rei is
property of ADV Films.(Phew!) No with that over on to the story.
COPS Galaxy Police Special by Jesse Lockhart Cops is filmed on
location with the men and women of law enforcement. All suspects
are proven guilty in the court of law.
(Today we look at a day on the beat with two of the galaxy police's
most respected detectives. This scene takes place somewhere in outer
space. A lone Galaxy Police ship is sailing along through the solar
system. Inside the ship are our two detectives.) Deep space: Star
date-2643799(6-16-99) Detective 1st class Kiyone Makabi: Our main job
is to keep watch over the planets mostly the planet jurai. The
majority of the time, were up in space. It gets a little boring.
Nothing usually happens, but if it dose it's often serious.(Crunch!)
That's why as Galaxy Police we must be alert and ready at all
ti..(Crunch, Chomp!) Protect the innocent and to keep the peace.
That is our.....(Chomp, crunch, crunch, chomp!) GGRRRRRRR!! MIHOSHI!!
WOULD YOU QUIT IT WITH THE CONSTANT SMAKING!! Detective 1st class
Mihoshi: Uh, sorry Kiyone. It's just that these chips are really
good. You can eat just one! (Chomp, chomp, chomp, crunch!) Kiyone:
Look at this place! It's a pigsty! And it's all your stuff! H.Q. is
going to think were a bunch of slobs! Mihoshi: (Sniff) I'm sorry.
(Sniff) I didn't do it on purpose! WWWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!
I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to! Kiyoneeehehehe!( Glomps onto
Kiyone's uniform. And continues to cry.) Kiyone: Uuugh! That
promotion better come sometime soon. I don't know how much more I can
take. (A loud beeping noise is coming from the control panel. Both
Kiyone and Mihoshi look over at the panel.) Kiyone: Huh? It's an
incoming message from H.Q. (Kiyone gose over to the control panel
and pushes the button to see the commander pop up on the monitor.
Kiyone: Sir! This is detectives 1st class Kiyone and Mihoshi awaiting
orders sir! Commander: Hihoshi! Did you finish that police report
yet?! Mihoshi: Report? Well I ah.. ah.. eh.. it's ah..
eeeehhhhhhhh!(Starts to tear up again) Kiyone: That idiot. Luckily
I did them for her. Mihoshi are these the reports you left in your
quarters? Mihoshi: But I didn't do any report in m.. (Kiyone kicks
her in the shin.) Mihoshi: Ow! Oh! Reports ha ha ha ha! (Puts hand
on the back of her head) I did leave them there. I fax them to you
right away. (Mihoshi slips the paper into the fax machine and pushes
the send button. The commander instantly recieves the report.)
Commander: Ah! Nicely done Mihoshi! Keep this up and you'll be up for
a promotion! Kiyone: WHAAAAAAA?!!!! (Kiyone's eyes go wide whlie a
big tear drop runs down her face.) Mihoshi: Why thank you commander!
I'll continue to do my best. You'll see! Commander: Good! That is
all! (The commander signs off) Mihoshi: Wow! A promotion. Did you
hear that Kiyone? Finally I'm being recognized for my skill as an
officer! Oh happy day! (She start walking away singing and dancing
leaving Kiyone turning red with anger.) Kiyone: GGGGGGGRRRRRRRR!!!
THAT %^%$@@%!! THE SLUTTY BLONDE BIMBO! I'M GONNA KILL THAT
#$#$*(^@ *@!#%$$^$@&!!! (Cut to the seen where Mihoshi is sitting
near the control panel fiddling with that pink looking cube. Kiyone
comes out of her quaters after she composes herself. All of a sudden
she notices every thing starting to change color.) Mihoshi: (Not
noticing Kiyone in the background.) I still don't know how to work
this thing! If I turn it this way or that way... (The ship suddenly
dissapears and Kiyone and Mihoshi are floating into space. A
wide-eyed Kiyone looks around around trying to find out what's going
on. Mihoshi who is still not noticing what's going on, continues
to turn the cube in a sitting position.) Mihoshi: It still dose
nothing. I shouldn't have threw away those instruction. (Mihoshi
turns the cube again and both girls are back on the ship again, but
Kiyone turns around to see Kain standing behind her ready to attack.)
Kiyone: Huh? KAIN!!! (She pulls out her faiser and starts shooting
at Kain which is not hurting him one bit. When she runs out of
bullets, Kiyone throws the gun away and ducks her head bracing Kain's
attack.) Mihoshi: (Still turning the cube.) Maybe if I turn it this
way. (Kiyone peeks her head up and see Kain's not there anymore.
She rubs her forehead and sighs.) Mihoshi: Why won't this stupid
thing work?! (Out of fustration, Mihoshi turns the cube any which
way the ship. The room begins to change colors again and all of a
sudden Kiyone looks down at herself to find out that she dosen't
have and clothes on.) Kiyone: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(She tries to cover herself, but then out of nowhere, a boy appears
wearing a muscle shirt, a yellow bandana around his forehead,
and a backpack with a huge umbrella on top. appears looking lost.
He turns around to see Kiyone nekked.) Boy: Excuse me can tell me
where I can find a place called NerimAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
(Boy starts to have a nosebleed) Kiyone:(Continues to cover herself.)
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! PERVERT!!! (The boy suddenly disappers and Kiyone
is back in uniform but it looks a little different. not only that,
so was her hair, her head band was gone, and she looks poorly drawn.)
Kiyone: My hair, My face! My headband is gone! What's going on here?!
(Her uniform suddenly changes into urban clothing. She is wearing
baggy pants, a kango hat, and a fubu sweater.) Kiyone: Hey what da
dilly yo?! (Then she changes into Tenchi, Ryoko, Ranma*, Ayeka, Rei
from EVA*, Washu, Ryo-Ohki, Kagato, Homer Simpson.*) Homer: Doh!
(Then she changes back to her formers self and see's Mihoshi with the
cube and snatches it away from her.) Kiyone: GIMMIE THAT!!! Mihoshi:
What'd I do?! (The same beepnig noise from the control panel is heard
again.) Kiyone: Another massage! (Gose over and pushes the button
to see the lieutenant on the screen.) Lieutenant: Kiyone, Mihoshi!
There is word of a domestic dispute on colonized planet 0315.
Mihoshi: That's planet earth. Lieutenant: I want you two to go down
there and investigate this at once. Kiyone and Mihosh: YES SIR! (They
set their cordinates and they took off full speed to planet earth.)
Mihoshi: So where is the distubance comming from?(Both girls view the
mapped image on the screen.) Kiyone: Hmm. From this map, somewhere
in Japa.. Oh no. Not there again. Mihoshi: Not there where? Kiyone:
The cordinates are pointing straight for the Masaki shrine! Mihoshi:
Alright! Maybe we canpick up some snacks while were their! Kiyone:
Is that all you think about is food? Masaki Shrine: 6-17-99 (The ship
lands safely at the Masaki Shrine where we see two girls on each side
pulling a guy between them. Kiyone and Mihoshi runs over to control
the two. For protection pouposes their names will not be mentioned.)
Girl 1: LET GO OF HIM! HE'S MINE YOU @%#&*!! Girl 2: YOU LET GO OF
HIM YOU SLUTTY WHORE! Kiyone: Hey! Hey! Hey! Let go of him you two
and control yourselves. (Kiyone and Mihoshi hold back the two girls.)
Mihoshi: Yes their is no need to be fighting like this. Guy: Sorry
if I caused you any trouble! Kiyone: You guys! Why do we always have
to be called here because you two can't get along? Girl 1: Why don't
you ask that $@$@$%& ^#@ over there! She keeps putting her filthy
hands on my T------i! Girl 2: I'm not your @#$%* Miss R------o!
Besides, I don't see your name on him! Girl 1: You wanna name?(Using
her index finger, she zaps a print of her name on the guy's
forehead.) You got it! Girl 2: Wanna be funny huh? Just don't let me
see you in his room again! SLUT! Girl 1: Well I'm sorry that you're
too ugly to seduce T-------i! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Girl 2: @&$$ NO!!
YOU'ER MINE $%*@^!!! Girl 1: You wanna piece of me A---------a?!
Girl 2: Piece of you?! I want the whole fruit cake! Girl 1: Come and
get it then! (Both girls stare angrily at each other. Sparks begin
to form btween their eyes. Kiyone and Mihoshi try desparately
to hold back each of them. Kiyone: C'mon guys if you two would stop
fighting, I'm sure thier is a way that we can work this out! (Girls
1 stops looking at Girl 2 and turns to Kiyone.) Girl 1: Hey! Where
do you get off saying that? You gotta lot of nerve! Kiyone: Waa? What
do you mean? (Ryoko takes a letter from between her breast, opens
it up, and shows it to Kiyone.) Girl 1: Is this yours Kiyone? I found
it in your apartment. A love letter to a certain someone were
fighting over?( Kiyone becomes wide-eyed in shock. Girl 2 looked
puzzled. Guy's nose begin to bleed. Mihoshi grabs the paper from Girl
1.) Mihoshi: Kiyone? Do you? (Girl 1: Raises an eyebrow at Kiyone.)
Do you really? Kiyone: Mihoshi I... Mihoshi: Do you really like
writing love letters? (Everyone except Mihoshi face faults.) Kiyone:
Well he he heh heh. I'm glad to see everythings back to normal here.
You're not fighting anymore he heh heh he. Lets go Mihoshi! Mihoshi:
What? So soon? (Kiyone looks at the two girls who both have solid
looks on their faces. The guy is trying to keep his head up so he
wouldn't make his nosebleed worse) Kiyone: Yup. Lets go! (She grabs
Mihoshi by the hand and runs back to the ship sweeping mihoshi off
her feet.) Hihoshi: But what about the snaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!
The ship wastes no time in lifting off and high tailing it back to
space. The screen fades to black and the cops logo appears.) THE END
Mihoshi: WHAT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH TENCHI!!!!
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The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.
Please see the Terms of Service for more information.