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The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.


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Love it,
or leave it,
you can't understand

By Spaztastic Pansy


Well here's goes my first one-shot! it's a Ferard so I hope you all enjoy R&R!

Gerard's P.O.V

Love it, or leave it, you can't understand. Why do I do this to myself, sitting here drowning my sorrows with vodka, drinking so much of that I can't remember what happened the day and or night before. Nothing in my life goes right… well almost nothing, there is one thing. And that one thing is the love of my life Frank Anthony Iero, he has such a pretty face that when I see him he makes me happy inside. He's the only reason as to why I'm still here, him and my younger brother Mikey. But I don't want to bring Mikey into my affairs and sadness. And Frank well… he's always been by my side no matter what.

``Gerard?'' I hear the voice of an angel, my Frank. His voice was low like when you would see if someone was trying to see if you were awake or not, which was exactly what he was doing. ``are you awake?'' He asked me, my eyes were closed shut.

I slowly opened my hazel eyes and looked up into his beautiful green ones. I gave Frank a small smiled ``yeah'' was all I said then lifted the bottle up to my lips, letting the clear liquor slide down my throat. From the corner of my eyes I could see a look of concern and worry was planted on Franks angelic like face and that worry and concern was for me.

``Do you really have to drink that stuff everyday?'' He asked me. It took me a few moments of thought at his question before I answered him. I looked back down to my friend the bottle and parted my lips to talk ``Well I don't need to'' I told him and downed the rest of what was left in the bottle, when it was empty I placed the glass onto my night stand right next to my bed which we were currently resting on. I could tell he didn't approve of my drinking habits, but there's a lot more that I do other then drink. But those things I don't think I would have the heart to tell him I do when he's not around to whiteness. ``I'm sorry love'' I said leaning over to him and letting my lips rest upon his giving him a sweet kiss which he soon returned.

``I know you are but…I still worry about you.'' He said when I pulled back from the kiss. ``I love you and I don't want to see anything happen to you is all, I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't have you around'' I know where he was coming from because I don't think I could live without him around.

``I'm sorry and you know what I'll try to quit, I promise'' lies I said to him giving him another kiss this one more passionate, I let my left hand snake around the back of his neck. I soon felt him kiss me back I soon felt that want of having more from him, but I knew he wasn't ready for it. I dropped my hand and pulled back breaking the kiss noticing a smile upon his face.

``alright sounds good to me'' Frank said. About an hour later he left me alone he said he had things he needed to take care of and said he'll be back later tonight. After a while there was nothing for me to do and the depression started to take over me again. There wasn't much I could do to stop the pain I could drink more but… I finished off my last bottle. Rolling off my bed I walked… well stumbled over to my desk which was on the other side of my room. I opened the top left drawer and looked down to all of the bottle of pills I had in there. I knew I shouldn't take them.. But then again the ache I have right now it was just way to tempting not to. I soon made up my mind and grabbed four random ones I had and put them on the top of my desk, I closed the drawer and started to uncap the bottle pouring the pills on the hardwood top. As soon as I was done I started to pop them not caring which was which, they were all going to the same place anyway right? Each pill I popped I thought of something that is screwed up in my life thinking maybe they'll fix the problem. Well maybe they wont fix them but they'll keep my mind off of everything until they wear off which then I'll have to take more. I soon lost count of how many I took and everything started to spin, I soon came in contact with my bed room floor, then everything went black.

Frank's P.O.V

Gerard worries me to death, I'm afraid he'll end up killing myself from too much alcohol. I left him early this morning and he was pretty smashed when I left him. I was out most of the day picking up a few things and running errands and picking up a gift for Gerard on account today is our first year anniversary of being together. So I decided to get him this really nice art supplies that he's had his eyes on for sometime now. And I have a feeling that he doesn't remember ``Oh Gee, oh how my heart aches to help you'' I said allowed walking up to the front door of my loves home. As I raised my hand to knock on the door I got a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, I ignored the feeling and knocked on the door and waited… no answer, which was really odd on account Gerard doesn't usually leave the house when I said I would return. I knocked again and I still didn't get an answer, I wrapped my hand around the handle thinking maybe he went out but the door was unlocked.. Which was really odd on his account because every time he left his home he would lock the door. I started to worry and as soon as I opened the door I called for him ``Gee?!'' He called from the door not getting an answer again. I closed the door behind me and called again ``Gerard?!'' He yelled walking around to see if anyone was home but there was no sign of anyone. I soon started to worry, ``ok if he was asleep he would wake to me yelling for him'' I said to myself out loud. I walked to his room and noticed the door was ajar. I lightly pushed the door opened and gasped there was Gerard faced down on the floor of his room. Without thinking I ran up to him ``Gerard!'' I yelled rolling him over. ``god damn it Gerard! Don't be dead!'' I said to him placing my ear to his heart and heard his heart beat. ``oh thank god'' I said letting out a breath I was holding in. I started to shake him awake and watched as his eyes opened again.

``F…Frank?'' he said lowly to me not getting up yet. I didn't no what to say I looked around and noticed the bottles and pills all over the desk top. pills? I thought wondering why I never noticed he took them before.. But then again he never took them while I was around just incase I started to go off on him. Which I would if he wasn't face down on the floor. I keep my eyes on him as he tried to move. ``Frank… your back'' he said looking up into my eyes.
I nodded seeing how weak he was right now. ``Yeah I am back… How many pills did you take?'' I asked afraid of what he would say. I shouldn't have left I should of stayed with him and made sure he was alright, but I went out to get things done. What kind of a boy friend am I? to leave him alone after he drank almost a whole bottle of vodka… the almost part that he didn't drink was from the day before. Gerard shook his head when I asked him how many pills he took and he opened his mouth to talk.

``I'm not sure…'' He started his eyes were glazed over and his cheeks were pale, Gee's breath was slow and shallow. It was starting to scare me and the worst was popping up in my mind. ``I just keep taking them…'' Gerard said to me slowly and continued ``one for everything wrong or fucked up in my life'' he said with a little laugh. This was no time to matter! But then again death didn't scare him as he told me many times before, he told me he welcomed death because death would come to him in a black parade. I felt the tears form in my eyes as I looked down to him knowing that he was slowly leaving me here alone. ``Frank… I don't want you to see me like this please leave me..'' He said and I could hear the sadness in his eyes.

I shook my head at him ``you'll never make me leave!'' I said to him telling him the truth. ``Never! I love you too much to leave you here alone when I know it will be the last time I talk or speak to you.'' I said as the hot tears started to stream down my face now. ``please Gee, give me a reason to believe that you'll some how be alright'' I begged knowing that it wasn't true that he would soon leave this world and move on to the next.

He smiled his crooked grin at me and he knew I loved it when he did that, I gave a very meek smile back at him ``you know… were all running after something..'' I heard him babble right now ``I'm running after something in life and you're running after something'' he said to me. This talk made my heart break slowly. ``I mean… we all have something were going to run for in life…'' and before he could continue I started to talk.

``I do have something I'm running after! And that's you Gerard! I love you! And I'll always run after you no matter where you are dead or alive!'' I said to him as the tears came faster now. I couldn't talk much anymore. I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a kiss which I knew would be our last. Gerard kissed me back, his lips weren't as warm as they normally are, their cold and lousing the color just like the rest of his body. ``I love you Gerard Arthur Way and happy anniversary'' I said to him wanting to let him know that I love him.

He had a look that seemed shock and he started to talk ``and I love you Frank Anthony Iero… More then anything in this world and the next…happy anniversary.'' he said to me taking hold of one of my hands. ``I'm sorry.. For everything'' he said weakly ``please forgive me'' he said to me.

I started to ball at this point. ``I forgive you! I will always forgive you no matter what!'' I didn't know what else to do but sit there with the love of my life fading away right before me and there's nothing I could do, even if I called the police or the hospital it would still be to late for help him. I looked down to his face and noticed that he had left me alone in this world, he has moved on to the next. And I would soon follow. I left his lifeless body where it was and looked around his room I checked under his bed for any alcohol that he might of forgotten was there. And to my luck there was a bottle of vodka similar to the one he had earlier. Then I went to his desk and took all of the other pills all of them were filled into my one hand. I sat next to Gerard and opened the bottle which poisoned his mind. And I cried to my self ``so give me all your poison and give me all your pills'' I said putting a majority of the pills into my mouth and washing them down with the clear liquid, which burned the back of my throat. ``give me all your hopeless harts, and make me ill'' I said putting the rest of the pills into my mouth and chugging the whole bottle. I placed a hand on Gerard's cold cheek ``you're running after something'' I choked ``that's you'll never kill'' I said with a sob ``If this is what you want… then fire at will'' I finished and laid next to him giving him one last kiss on his lips and laced my right hand in his left. ``I'll see you soon my love…'' I said as I slowly faded away after him into the after life where I could be with him and nothing could harm him and I could be with him forever, forever loving my love Gerard.

An. Thanks to all who have read please Review and tell me what you think!

your author,


The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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