Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> Panic! At The Disco
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If only tonight we
I think it's kinda fucked up but if you like it at least a little please review :):) well, actually
if you don't like it let me know too
Brendon Urie woke up in the morning and trying to collect his random thoughts he realized that
today's gonna be totally duties-free day. He smiled and still lying stretched and looked at the
watch. Half past nine, mmm… No need to hurry… He loved such long and
lazy mornings. After a while he got up and stretching once more he started to put on his trousers.
Then sighed as he looked inside his bag. Okay, I bet Ryan has some clean t-shirts extra.
With this thought and hearing sounds coming from Ryan's room he opened his doors and frowned. In
the same second Ryan's door were closed by a girl with smudged gaudy makeup and short skirt. Too
short… thought Brendon still frowning. That kid must have kinda problem
with himself and someone should talk to him. Every morning situation was the same: random
girls leaving Ryan's room quickly so that nobody could see them and with lowered eyes. Always
different, none of them spent more than one night with Ryan.
Brendon came inside Ryan's room and found him still lying in his bed.
“So what?” asked Ryan didn't even bothering to open his eyes.
“So what was her name?” he asked sarcastically. Ryan opened one eye and looked
questioningly at his friend.
“How could I know? I didn't ask…” Brendon rolled his eyes, sighed and sat on
“Dude… you sure you know what you're doing?” he asked seriously looking at Ryan's
face with care.
“Yeah… still trying to sleep as we had today free day. But as long as you're here I
feel I won't manage” He sighed and sat on the bed. “Wanna talk?”
“Ry, we're worrying about you. It's not only me but also Jon and Spence. Well, you
know… you're changing into… kinda whore…” Brendon had no idea what he
actually wanted to tell Ryan, all the more what words should he use. Ryan fell heavily onto his bed
and then slowly crawled from the bed.
“Don't you guys have any other problems to take care of?” he asked getting annoyed.
“Well, as it turns out you are our most important problem at the moment.” Brendon
answered calmly not letting Ryan to throw him off the track. “So I'll be grateful if you could
tell me what the fuck is your problem, huh?”
“For your information: I don't have any problems. See how happy guy am I?” he spread his
arms and smiled quickly and insincerely. “You really don't have to worry about me”
“Ross, you're really pissing me off” now Brendon started to getting annoyed, too.
“What's wrong with you, I'm asking one more time. Every night different girl, let's say of
slightly unknown origin, besides…”
“Brendon, listen” Ryan butted in impolitely. He seemed angry. “I'm not prying into
your business or your bed - oh, what a pity! - and I ask you to do the same. And if you
don't want to have a whore in the band then…” he didn't manage to finish the sentence
as the door opened and they could see Spencer's joyful face
“Hey, guys, come for breakfast and later little hitting the town, what do you think?” -
suddenly he realized Brendon and Ryan looking at themselves as if they we're going to murder each
other so he added quickly “or… maybe… anyway, breakfast can wait, right?”
and disappeared behind the door slamming them silently.
“Look, Ryan” a moment of break calmed Brendon down a little, he took a deep breath and
continued “I'm REALLY worried about you” when Ryan opened his mouth to answer Brendon
silenced him with a hand gesture “let me finish, ok?” Ryan nodded with resignation.
“I think I don't have to explain to you how dangerous it is, do I?” Ryan gave him
are-you-kidding-me look. “Great. So tell me, why can't you find a proper girlfriend, fall in
love with her, date with her and be happy with her - I can't believe I'm saying that…
- like Jon with Cassie or Spence with Halley, huh? Why?”
“First, stop scolding me for not having a girlfriend because as far as I know you don't have
one neither” Brendon grimaced. Guess why Ryan, guess why…
“I'm not sleeping with whores”
“Well maybe you don't have to satisfy your physiological needs, huh?” Ryan said snappy
and was immediately hit by flying pillow.
“Ross, it's no laughing matter. I just want to talk about it.” said Brendon getting
“There's nothing to talk about, Bden. Believe me. Besides how do you know that I'm not in love
actually?” Ryan immediately regretted words he let slip.
“Are you?” Brendon was staring at his friend with eyes wide opened couldn't believe in
want he just heard. Oh no! Ryan's in love with someone and I didn't notice!
Ryan has just finished getting dressed.
“Let's go for breakfast” - he pretended not to hear Brendon's last words and went
towards the door but Brendon caught him.
“No way, now you have to tell me everything and you'll not wriggle out of this!” he
looked questioningly at Ryan for few seconds. “Ryan, what is your problem? Or rather who is
your problem?” he corrected himself. It's gonna kill me, but… whatever…
“Well” Ryan started “actually my problem is you, Brendon” he said slowly
with lowered eyes while Brendon just sighed.
“Okay… “ Brendon said with downcast voice and raised his arms in defeat gesture.
“I'm giving up. Don't want to tell me so don't tell…”
“Brendon, wait!” Ryan surprised even himself with these words. It shouldn't be like
that. They should go for breakfast now and forget about this whole situation. “Wait… I
just told that you are my problem…”
“Yeah dude, I got it. `Get lost Urie cause I'm sick of you and your prying into my life'. I
really got it” he said bitterly not even giving a look to Ryan. Forget it, Brendon,
forget about him!
“No!” Ryan almost shouted. Brendon looked at him, surprised. “I mean… you
are my problem `cause… the person I'm in love with you… it's you,
Brendon…” Suddenly he realized that he's unconsciously sinking his nail into Brendon's
arm. He loosened the grip and stared at his hand with disbelief while in room fell sudden silence.
In similar disbelief, but staring at Ryan Brendon was rubbing his arm.
“What… What did you say” he asked staring straight at Ryan's lowered head.
Ryan looked at him and suddenly realized what he's done and a flash of fear appeared in his hazel
“Doesn't matter, forget about it…” he could feel tears coming into his eyes. He
turned rapidly towards the door so that Brendon couldn't see him crying. Brendon was still standing
dumbfounded. Has he just told me he's in love with me?
“But, Ryan…” he didn't know what to say as too many thoughts was coming flooding
into his brain.
“I say forget, Brendon” Ryan went to the door and started to open it but suddenly he
felt other hand on his hand holding he handle.
“Don't!” he heard and in the next second he could feel Brendon pushing him against the
door and impatiently pressing his lips against Ryan's. He was surprised, but he longed Brendon to do
it for so long… He moved his hand to Brendon's neck while the other was still lying on the
handle under the Brendon's hand. But then sudden thoughts came to his head. For him this kiss was
fulfilling of his all dreams, even better, but what was that for Brendon? He pushed him away.
What the fuck? Ryan I need you…
“What's wrong?” asked Brendon carefully studying Ryan's face when two little tears
streamed it from under his closed eyelids. God, Ryan… He wiped them with his
thumbs. Ryan pushed him away again but Brendon blocked his hands and pinned them to the door on the
both sides of his head. “Ryan..?”
Next drops were streaming down his face.
“Just leave me alone, Brendon, okay?” he said silently and there was so much pain and
fear in his voice that Brendon could felt his eyes becoming wet too.
“Why should I” he whispered and then Ryan raised his eyes to look at him.
“Because I love you. Because you don't love me. Because it hurts. Because…” his
`because counting-out' was broken by Brendon's gentle kiss.
“How do you know I don't love you, mr. know-all, huh?” He asked moving his lips up and
down Ryan's cheek and then finally to the ear where he whispered “I love you” before he
started to kiss it. Ryan moved his head so that he could look into Brendon's eyes.
“Do you?” he asked in disbelief. Brendon smiled and started to kiss Ryan's tears off his
“I do. Truly and madly.” Ryan took his face into his hands while Brendon's hands were
around Ryan's waist, pulling him as close as possible.
“So why you never told me?”
“I don't know… I was afraid that you're gonna get rid of me or something, I
“You know what…” started Ryan as Brendon went back to kissing every little piece
of skin on his face.
“If you told me earlier I wouldn't have to spend all this disgusting nights with cheap whores
trying to not think about you…” Brendon looked deeply into his eyes.
“Disgusting? You didn't like it?” he asked smirking and Ryan kissed him.
“So maybe now I could help you… You won't have to try not to think about me as you'll
have me always right next to you, each and every night. What do you think?” he stopped kissing
for a while.
“I can think about it…” said Ryan winking and moving his hands to back of
Brendon's head and pulling him into this most awaited sweet and promising kiss.
Someone opened the door and then quickly withdraw, then they could've heard Jon's voice
“Spencer, I'm afraid you could be emotionally handicapped. Can't you differ “murdering
themselves” from just “fucking themselves”?...
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The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.
Please see the Terms of Service for more information.