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Anime/Manga Fan Fiction >> Fushigi Yuugi

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

 

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The Paper Bad Priestess
By "Kiku"

 

The Paper Bag Priestess

...with more apologies to Katchan... ^_-

 

Once upon a time in a faraway land, there lived an Amazon Priestess. She lived on a mountain in the middle of four countries in a very, very nice temple. She lived in peace and quiet, doted on hourly by two adoring seishi.

Life was wonderful for the priestess. Her two seishi?Tomite and Hikitsu?would attend to her every need, lavishing her with praise all the while. Whenever it got too hot, Tomite would whip up an icy breeze, and whenever work needed to be done, Hikitsu would rush to do it.

Hikitsu: Oi! How come I'M the one who has to do all the manual labour?

Tomite: Be quiet! I'm busy! ::turns up the heat again:: Oh, Kichiri-sama, do you find it too warm in here? Shall I send in a nice breeze?

Life went on happily (as long as Tomite kept his breezes well away from the hem of Kichiri's dress) until one day a terrible thing happened.

Tomite and Hikitsu had gotten up early as usual to prepare their beloved priestess's breakfast, when suddenly they heard a rumbling and then loud noises in the temple yard. Worried for the safety of their priestess, they rushed out to see what was wrong.

"Who's there?" Hikitsu yelled looking around.

A flame burst forth, shoving the two seishi back against a wall. From the smoke, a man appeared, his hair the same burning colour as the flames.

"Che. What the f*** is this?" the red-headed man swore. "There's nothin' up here worth stealin'!" he exclaimed with disgust.

Hikitsu and Tomite struggled to their feet and summoned their ice magic. "How dare you attack this temple!" they cried as they attacked.

Tasuki just laughed. "LEKKA SHINEEEEN!" The two seishi were barely able to escape the path of the flame as it roared out. They slumped to the ground beaten.

Tasuki wandered over to the fallen seishi. "Che. You'd think if this was some sort of great place, it'd have better guards than this." He motioned to his fellow bandits. "Might as well take 'em. We can always sell 'em as slaves since there's nothing better to steal."

As the bandits cleared out of the temple grounds, Tasuki let loose one last LEKKA SHINEN which burned the rest of the buildings.

Kichiri rose drowsily from her bed. She yawned and opened her eyes and received a great shock. Around her lay the ruins of her home.

"Taiitsu-kun was right," she muttered as she searched the grounds for a trace of her friends and adoring seishi. "I CAN sleep through anything."

As everything had been completely torched, all the poor priestess could find was a tattered paper bag to wear.

Tomite: ::drool::

Kichiri: WHACK! Not THAT tattered no da!

Kichiri stared in amazement at the horrible damage wrought to her temple. "What manner of creature could have done this no da?" she wondered aloud.

Her question was answered for her as she noticed the words "GENROU RULZ" emblazoned on the side of a crumbled building.

"This is the work of the Mount Leikaku bandits!" she cried. "They're not getting away with this!" And Kichiri marched down the mountain toward Mount Leikaku. A gentle breeze swept through the charred remains of her home, whipping through the priestess's hair and fluttering the paper bag around her?

Kichiri: Oi! STOP that no da!

The wind died down abruptly and the priestess continued on.

 

Kichiri walked through the land heading for the bandits. As much as Tomite and Hikitsu annoyed her at times, she still couldn't let them be taken, especially in such a brash manner. Plus, they allowed her temple to be torched. Tomite and Hikitsu definitely were going to here about that.

Finally, she entered the forest that led to the mountain home of the bandits. It was nearing dusk so Kichiri began to speed up. Not too far into the woods, she spotted an inn.

"Hmm. All this walking is making me hungry," she thought, so she stopped in and bought some food. Since it was getting late, she took it to go and continued on toward the mountain.

"You're going to walk in this forest at night? To Mount Leikaku?" the innkeeper exclaimed as Kichiri made to leave. "Don't you know there's a wolf on the loose? Word is it's after young girls."

"I'm not scared. Besides, I have to get to the mountain as soon as possible no da." And undaunted, Kichiri left the inn.

 

As night fell, Kichiri summoned a light spell. She was making pretty good time until she suddenly felt the presence of something evil approaching her. She stopped and turned around. A shadowy figure emerged from the bushes.

"Hey cutie, whatcha got there?" it drooled.

"Dinner, and it's not for you no da."

"If you don't give me any, then I'll eat you!" Kichiri just stood there and rolled her eyes. "I will you know. I'm a scary WOLF!"

Kichiri looked at him. "You look more like a dirty old martial arts master in a wolf costume to me no da." And she belted Tokaki into orbit and continued on her way.

 

Finally, as the sun was beginning to dawn, Kichiri reached the peak of Mount Leikaku. She was very annoyed to have to fight so many guards while only wearing a paper bag, although it did provide a convenient distraction. By the time she reached the door of the bandit's lair, her paper bag had been reduced?

Kichiri: I'm warning you no da!

...surprisingly little considering her trials. ^^;;

She reached up and banged on the door of the lair, shouting loudly for the leader to come out.

Inside, Tasuki rolled over and shoved the pillow over his head. "Aaaahhh! Turn it off, whatever it is! It's too f***ing early!" But the banging and shouting continued until the hungover bandit dragged himself out of bad and to the door.

"Nanya?" he complained as he swung open the door. His eyes widened as his eyes beheld a girl wearing a paper bag standing at the door. "Who the f*** are you? And why're you making such a racket this f***ing early?"

Kichiri was shocked as she beheld the very handsome bandit. "I'm a priestess from the?" she began.

"Che. I've got enough priestesses. Come back later. Besides, you don't really look like one, wearin' that paper bag and all..."

"Kichiri-sama!" came the cry from inside the bandit's lair. "You've come to save us!" Tomite and Hikitsu looked lovingly at the priestess with shimmering eyes.

Tasuki glared at them. "These wimps friends of yours?"

Kichiri sweatdropped. "Sort of... "

"Well, they were the only thing worth plundering from your stupid temple, so I'm gonna sell 'em as slaves to some hentai chicks from the FYML this afternoon so you're outta luck."

He went to close the door but Kichiri grabbed his arm. This was obviously a very powerful adversary so Kichiri would have to be careful. Her only hope was to outwit him...

"What the hell is it now?" Tasuki whined.

"I hear that you're the fastest bandit in all of Kounan," Kichiri said.

Tasuki puffed up with pride. "Che. I'm the fastest bandit in all four freakin' countries. Watch this." And he took off so fast he left an afterimage behind him that stayed around long enough for him to return. "See?" And the bandit held up a bag of okane with the words "PROPERTY OF TAMAHOME" written on it.

"Sugoi," exclaimed Kichiri. "Say," she went on. "I also hear that you're the foul-mouthed bandit in the world."

"F***in' right," smirked Tasuki, and he proceeded to swear in such a creative manner that Kichiri was so stunned that it took her a full five minutes to recover from the beeping.

"Sugoi!" she said as she came to. "I'm impressed!"

"Yeah, well, all in a day's work," Tasuki said, a little embarrassed as he was unaccustomed to such flattery.

Kichiri leaned over to him and asked her final question. "I also hear that you're the best lover in all of Kounan," she whispered. "Wanna prove it?"

Tasuki grinned and slid his arm around her. "My pleasure," he said, guiding her into his lair.

"Ano," Tomite called to them as they passed by, "Does this mean you'll let us go now?"

Kichiri rolled her eyes at him and snuggled closer to her fang boy. "Don't worry no da. I'm sure Tomite no Miko will treat you well. If she has enough money to buy you no da... "

And as Kichiri and Tasuki disappeared into the depths of the lair, Tomite and Hikitsu started to fervently pray to Gembu.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Tomite and Hikitsu: What about us?!

Well, all of the ones that counted anyway. ^_-

Tomite: Hidooooiii!

 

Owari no da ^_-

 

The most kakkoi bandit in all four countries no da =P

Back to...

 

This story and page design is © 1998, The Temple of the Blue Dragon. It may be in no part duplicated, posted, or altered without the author's permission beforehand. In other words, I'm glad that you like it, but please before you post it. Anyone trying to take credit for my back breaking labour will be subjected to repeated Rekka Shinen!'s combined with excessively foul language. =P

Fushigi Yuugi is the property of its wondrous creator, Watase Yuu, and its respective legal owners. The intent of this page is not to infringe upon said rights; rather the maintainer encourages all lovers of this and other anime to actively support Fushigi Yuugi, as well as other anime, by purchasing the manga and commercial releases of the anime (it's being released this month by ), and other authorized anime products.

That is all no da. ^_- ::disappears into her kasa::

 

 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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