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Anime/Manga Fan Fiction >> Fushigi Yuugi

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

 

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A Parody in Honor of Valentine's Day
By "Kiku"

 

WARNING: STUPIDITY ALERT! ^_^

But seriously (or as seriously as one can get when introducing something with a STUPID alert), this parody contains references to other parody, not just ones written by the priestesses either. Just make sure you check out and works too. We wouldn't want you to miss a joke. ^_~


A Parody in Honour of Valentine's Day
Or
Why Kira doesn't usually write fanfiction

'Twas the night before Valentine's day and all in the Temple had at last gone to sleep before they went mental....

Kira: Kiori-san! Please let me write!

::Ahem:: Let's try that again...

'Twas the night before Valentine's day and Kira sat in her room, dreaming off the next day and her date with Ginta.

"Kira-chan," her mother said as she poked her head in Kira's room, "there's a... umm, foreign individual here to see you. He insisted on talking to you." Her mother looked understandably worried.

"Umm, okay." Nothing surprised Kira ever since she had joined those crazy Amazons....

Her mother retreated and told whoever it was that they could see Kira. The door to her room opened and Kira was rather shocked to see that particular figure standing before her.

"Konbanwa," he said and bowed.

"K-Konbanwa," Kira returned.

He straightened. "I'm very sorry to bother you at this hour, Kira-sama, but I have a request that I need to make of you." Kira nodded and he went on. "I-I need you to write a fanfic. For Valentine's Day," he added nervously, unable to look her in the eye.

"M-me?" Kira asked, surprised. "Why not ask Kiku? Or Kichiri? Or Kiose? They're the resident fanfic writers?"

The figure squirmed uncomfortably. "I-I can't ask Kichiri-san, or Kiku-san-they're too close of friends. And Kiose-san is too busy to write one now."

"Why can't Kichiri know?" Kira asked, curious.

He shifted his feet nervously. "W-well, because she has to be IN it."

Now Kira was intrigued. "So you want me to write a 'fic with Kichiri IN it?"

"H-hai."

"What do you want me to write about?" Kira asked him.

"Well, since it's Valentine's day tomorrow, and since Kichiri changed her phone number to an unlisted one, I wondered if you might be able to, umm..." he trailed off, not quite sure how to continue.

Understanding dawned on Kira. "Oh! You LIKE Kichiri! That's why! Okay, I'll do it." Kira always had been a hopeless romantic.

The figure was visibly relieved. "Arigatou gozaimasu!" He thanked her repeatedly.

"No problem. Just leave everything to me."

The figure left and Kira went over to her computer. She turned it on, and then opened up her word processor. She clicked on the 'Fanfic wizard' command and the page opened and the story became truth...

**

Everything was peaceful in Konan (which should have been a DEAD GIVEAWAY that something was about to happen).

::Ahem:: Anyway, Konan-koku was peaceful once again. They had been saved from the threat of Kutou and everything was in running smoothly.

In the courtyard, Kichiri (who was visiting from Mt. Taikyoku) was playing Go with Chiriko, while Mitsukake and Tama-Neko watched. Tamahome and Tasuki were fighting, Miaka was eating, Hotohori was administrating, and Nuriko was cheering the two combatants on.

Suddenly, a message arrived for the Seishi. Hotohori opened it and read it. "Minna!" he called when he had finished reading it, "I have just received a request from the Genbu Seishi that we return their Shinzaho now that we are through with it. We have been asked to leave at once."

The Seishi looked at each other and shrugged. They got ready to go, as they had nothing better to do.

"Are you going too Kichiri-san?" Miaka asked.

"Iie no da...I think I'm needed back at Mt. Taikyoku..." No way was she going back there if at all possible.

"Forget it. You're going. You're the one who specializes in cold climates," Nuriko pointed out. "Besides, you're the only one that the Genbu Seishi don't try to freeze on sight."

"Demo," Kichiri tried to think of a really good excuse-fast.

"Don't even try it. You're going." Nuriko was surprised-why did he suddenly seem to care so much if Kichiri came or not? Sure, it would be all the more fun if she came, but why did he feel as if she absolutely had to come?

Somewhere in author-space, a mischievous giggle was heard...

They traveled to Hokkan-koku once more, but by land this time, which was Kichiri's condition for going-no more sailing. Tasuki had no trouble with that. They climbed the steep, snow-covered slopes of Mt. Black without incident and arrived safely at the entrance to the cave of Genbu.

"Oi," Tasuki asked, "Doesn't it seem strange that we've actually made it somewhere safely and without incident?"

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Hmm," hmmed Hotohori, "you don't think perhaps that the fanfic authors have left us alone for once."

Everyone looked at him and then fell over laughing.

"No, seriously," continued Tasuki, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes, "it's weird that nothing bad has happened yet."

"No authors have shown up yet either," Chiriko added.

"That's what I said. No bad things have happened yet."

Nuriko thwacked him. #$@&&(! What was that for?" Tasuki exclaimed, rubbing his poor thwacked head.

"I don't know," replied Nuriko, "I just had this sudden impulse to thwack you Gen-chan."

"Come on," Tamahome said, "Let's return the Shinzaho and get out of here before anyone else shows up."

The Seishi agreed on that one, and they all headed into the cave. Except for Kichiri.

"Hurry up Kichiri-chan! Everyone else is already inside!" yelled Miaka.

"Ano, I think I'll just wait out here no da."

"But what if they freeze me again!" Miaka whined at Kichiri.

"But you've got Tamahome to protect you and Mitsukake to heal you and-" Kichiri protested.

"Oh, don't be so silly!" Miaka dragged a wary (note: 'wary' is an understatement) Amazon priestess into the cave of Genbu.

The two girls caught up to the rest of the Seishi in the shrine of Genbu. Kichiri breathed a sigh of relief. So far, no sign of any Genbu Seishi. Hotohori placed the Shinzaho gently back on its altar and the Seishi turned to leave. They had just reached the door, however, when, without warning, the heavy doors swung shut.

"Hey! What gives?" yelled Tasuki.

There was a flash of light behind them and they all turned around to see what it was. Except for Kichiri, that is. She was pretty sure that she knew what it was; she just didn't want to see it.

" Konnichiwa Kichiri-san!" Tomite greeted Kichiri, who, having had her suspicions confirmed, was now heaving frantically on the door.

"You changed your phone number," Tomite pointed out. "And who's 'TA-'"

"Oh, no one! Just a name I came up with no da," Kichiri cut him off.

"So, how've you been?" he asked her politely.

"Oh, just fine no da," she replied, retreating to hide behind Chichiri, who placed himself defensively in front of her, blocking Tomite.

What's going on?, Tomite asked Kira mentally. I thought you were going to write a nice romantic scene for Kichiri and me? How come she's hiding behind Chichiri?

[Just hang on. I told you, I'm not very good at this.]

A flurry of keys could be heard in author-space and suddenly, without warning, the cavern collapsed on them, blocking anyone from leaving.

[There. Now she can't escape. Good luck.]

"But she's still hiding behind the stupid monk!" Tomite complained aloud.

"Who's he talking to?" Nuriko wondered.

"Who's a stupid monk no da?" Chichiri demanded.

Kichiri silently reached for her kasa.

[Oh no you don't Kichiri-chan! I'm afraid we can't have you escaping into kasa-space.]

Kichiri's kasa disappeared.

"NANI NO DA?" she yelled.

"Uh oh," said Tamahome, "I smell an author."

Kichiri leaped for Chichiri's kasa, but his disappeared too.

"Yep, it's an author," Hotohori agreed.

"No fair no da! I'm not supposed to be subject to fanfic rules no da!" Kichiri complained.

[Sorry, Kichiri-chan, but I have no choice.]

"Ano...."

[Yes Tomite?]

"Ano, this isn't exactly what I had in mind..."

[WELL BE MORE SPECIFIC! I HAVE EXAMS TO STUDY FOR!]

Tomite was taken aback; that certainly didn't sound like Kira. "W-who was that?" he asked Kira.

[Well, umm, since I'm not very good at this fanfiction stuff I kind of asked Kiose to help me...]

"Hey!" shouted Tomite, "How come you said you'd help her but refused when I asked?"

[NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. JUST BE THANKFUL THAT I'M HERE.]

"But this isn't anything like what I asked for!" he protested. "It's supposed to be a Valentine's Day story so it should be, umm..." Tomite trailed off as he noticed that everyone was staring warily at him.

"Kuwai," Miaka said shakily and Tamahome just held her protectively.

[Ano, Kiose?]

[WHAT?]

[Why do you seem to be so, well, temperamental today? This isn't like you.]

[JUST BE QUIET KIRA! ALL RIGHT YOU, HOW'S THIS ::evil laughter::]

Fingers snapped in author-space and the scenery fuzzed out. When it came back into focus, the group found themselves in gondolas floating down the canals of Venice. Amiboshi had conveniently appeared and was now playing romantic music on his flute.

"This is perfect!" Tomite cried and turned to his companion in the gondola. A blue-haired ticked-looking monk stared back at him.

"Perfect for what no da?" Chichiri glared at him.

Tomite choked and then looked around at the other gondolas.

Tasuki and Tamahome sat across from each other, and were clearly gearing up for a fight. Miaka and Hotohori were in one boat, with Nuriko attempting to pole closer to them, her zeal nearly causing poor Mitsukake to fall overboard. Chiriko and Amiboshi just stared at it all from their boat, while Hikitsu tried to sneak off with Kichiri in their gondola.

HIKITSU?

"Hey! What's going on here?" yelled Tomite, who was getting more and more frustrated by the second.

[Kiose! What are you DOING?]

Hikitsu grinned as he and a rather frazzled-looking Kichiri drifted away. "She's on MY side," he said triumphantly.

[YOU BET HIKITSU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HIKITSU! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!]

[::suddenly understands:: Kiose, this wouldn't have anything to do with that other parody would it?]

[YES! ::big shimmering teary eyes:: KICHIRI WROTE ME OUT OF IT BEFORE I COULD MEET HOTOHORI-SAMA ::sigh::]

[Hmmm... ::desperately tried to think of a way to save her 'fic:: Well, Kiose, since it IS Valentine's Day, why don't you and Hotohori go off somewhere to visit?]

[::smiles:: WAI! GREAT IDEA KIRA! THANKS, I WILL! JA NA]

A hand reaches out of author-space and grabs Hotohori, dragging him out of the 'fic.

"Hotohori-sama!" Nuriko called after him as he leaped through the hole into author-space after Hotohori.

"Oooo," Tasuki commented, "a threesome."

The gondola was abruptly shaken and Tasuki fell overboard.

[That's enough of that Tasuki! I don't write those kind of 'fics. Now then, back to the 'fic.]

Those in gondolas looked around nervously, unsure of what to expect. These authors were getting weirder every day.

**SNAP**

The scene shifted again. They were still floating about Venice in gondolas but this time, the pairing was a little different.

Miaka and Tamahome sat in their gondola, cooing adoringly at one another, incessantly repeating each other's name over and over again.

Kouji had appeared to drag Tasuki out of the water. He and Tasuki were now in the process of getting thoroughly plastered in another gondola with the astounding variety of alcohol that Kira had so kindly provided.

Mitsukake and Chiriko were playing Battleship while Tama-neko lay contentedly in the late afternoon sky, having a nap.

Makoto had also appeared and was sitting across from Amiboshi, listening delightedly as he played his flute.

Tomite gazed at Kichiri, deliriously happy, while Kichiri kept her razor sharp fans at ready.

"Isn't this nice Kichiri-san?" Tomite asked her. Kichiri began to estimate how far the jump was to the next gondola.

[Now, now, Kichiri-chan. You can't run off after all the trouble I've gone to.]

**SNAP**

Kichiri and Tomite suddenly found themselves sitting in the middle of a snow-filled field just outside of a town.

"Yatta! This is perfect! Kichiri-san, that's my home town over there," Tomite said proudly, leaping to his feet. "And over there is where I first learned how to ride a horse, and over there..." He began pointing out things so fast that Kichiri could barely keep up with him.

She sighed. He wasn't SO bad, she supposed, and he was so very happy to show her around.

"Kichiri-san," Tomite said, "would you like to go into town and have dinner? A family friend owns a restaurant and he's a great cook." He offered her his hand.

Mmmm, food. Now that was something she could go for. Kichiri rose and followed him into town. She didn't even maim him when he slipped his hand around hers. She patted her fans reassuringly. It was Valentine's Day, and he was a nice guy, but a good Amazon priestess is never unprepared.

Meanwhile, Hikitsu and Chichiri continued to glare at each other from opposite ends of their gondola.

**

Back in Kira's room, a sigh of relief could be heard.

"Whew! Thank goodness that's finished with! I hope I never have to go through that again."

She heard a someone at the front door. "Ginta!" she exclaimed happily, rushing to get downstairs.

As she flung open her bedroom door, she was faced with the angry visages of two very unhappy Seishi.

"How could you put us in a boat together no da?" Chichiri yelled at her.

"How could you put Kichiri in a boat with Tomite? It's my birthday!" whined Hikitsu.

Kira backed away. Chichiri wasn't usually mad, so seeing him this angry was scary.

"T-Tomite asked first," she replied weakly. That didn't seem to placate the Seishi and Kira started to panic.

"What the ^%#^@ is all the racket!" Min yelled from the entrance to Kira's room. She spied the two Seishi standing angrily over Kira.

"Oi! What the #&@&*( do you think you're doing?" she said hostilely. "You two better quit bugging Kira-chan or I'll write a nice little yaoi 'fic starring the both of you. A LEMON yaoi 'fic," she added for emphasis.

The two Seishi paled visibly. They left immediately, vehemently apologizing to Kira as they went, while Min continued to glare menacingly at them until they exited the house.

"Hmph. Seishi," Min snorted. "You give them a little say in a fanfic, and they think they can walk all over you. Next time you write a fanfic, Kira-chan, don't forget to remind them whose got the keyboard. And don't let Kiose push you around either, no matter what mood she's in," Min added.

Kira just nodded, shaken. She didn't think she'd be writing another fanfic for a VERY long time-she hadn't known that they would be so dangerous.

"Kira-chan!" her mother called from downstairs. "Ginta is here!"

Kira brightened instantly. "Hai! I'm coming Okaasan!" she answered as she ran downstairs for her own Valentine's Day celebration.

Happy Valentine's Day Minna-san

Owari ^_~

 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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