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The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

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Seishi Trek
By David Myers

 

Subject: FY Star Trek Parody

Seishi Trek
The Suzaku Generation

By David Myers

Legal Stuff: Please don't sue me.

Miaka: Other Worlds.. the final frontier.. These are the voyages of the Suzaku Seishi, they're continuing mission, to seek out the Shinzaho and various other things that will help us summon Suzaku.

Tamahome: To make lots of money!
Miaka: Hey I'm talking here!
Tasuki: Yeah Shutup Oni boy!
Nuriko: Will you two knock it off we are trying to do a serious monologue.
Miaka: Thanks Nuriko.. to seek out new life and taste every single delicacy known to man! ITA DAKI MASU!!

Chichiri starts singing the Star Trek Theme Roll credits.

Chichiri: Da Daaa Da Da Da Da Daaaaa! Daaa Daaaa Dadadada Daaa. Daaaa Daaaa Da Da Da Da Daaaa Daaaaaaa. etc etc etc

A federation style starship is flying through space.

Miko's log: Star Date... just after lunch. Our first mission aboard the starship Suzaku. The crew are adjusting to their new roles. This captains chair is really comfortable. No really.. Gee I could really go for a Pizza right about now.

Scene changes we see the bridge of the starship. Miaka is seated in the captains chair day dreaming about food. Nuriko is at the helm. Chichiri is at the Science post and a large Klingon is standing at Tactical.

Tasuki: This sux why the hell do I have to be the Klingon!

Hotohori the Bijorin first officer looks up from his seat.

Hotohori: It suited your personality! At least you don't have this thing on your nose. Its ruined my good looks. My nose my poor perfect nose. Massacred beyond repair.
Tasuki: Hmph! **He smirks** Oh well I suppose things could be worse. I could be Ferengi.
Tamahome(A Ferengi): Shutup!
Tasuki: Ha Ha Tama's a Ferengi Tama's a Ferengi.
Tamahome: How can I be cool and run around kicking butt like this. ( Knocks his huge ears). Who's stupid idea was this anyway? How come Chichiri gets off scott free.
Chichiri: I didn't I'm a changeling..
Miaka: Hey Chichiri your not no daing.
Chichiri: Yeah I know it's the universal translator. I cant say I'm real happy with the whole idea.
Chiriko (A Vulcan): Perhaps that also explains why Tasuki isn't swearing.
Tasuki: Naaah I can't swear cause this shows only rated G. I cant even use my Tessen since its been made redundant by this phaser thingy.

Tasuki shoots Tamahome with the phaser.

Tamahome: HEY YOU!
Tasuki: It's just not the same.
Mitsukake(A Data Style Droid): Hmmm this doesn't feel right.
Nuriko( A Betazoid):You're right its almost as if we are being manipulated by some dark and malevolent entity.

There is a flash of light and Nakago appears.

Everybody: Gyaaa where did you come from.
Nakago: I have recently ascended to the Q-continium.
Miaka: Your one of the Q?!?
Tasuki: Fuck!
Tamahome: I thought you couldn't swear
Tasuki: It's the way of the warrior!
Hotohori: But if your one of the Q.. That means you can do anything!

Nakago smiles evilly

Miaka: He's going to kill us all!
Nakago: No worse!
Nuriko: You don't mean?
Nakago: Yes I used my powers to turn each of you into the reject nerds you are now. And I'm going to force you to endure over seven seasons of crappy dialogue, contrived plots and bullshit philosophy.
Chichiri: You wouldn't!
Tasuki: You Bastard!

Tamahome falls to his knees in front of Nakago.

Tamahome: I know its against the 96th rule of acquisition to grovel but. YOU CANT DO THIS TO US CHANGE US BACK PLEASE!!!!
Hotohori(Also grovelling): I CANT SIT THROUGH SEVEN YEARS LOOKING LIKE THIS!

Nakago laughs evilly.

Nakago: Goodbye Suzaku Seishi. Ahh revenge is sweet.

Nakago disappears.

Tamahome: You Bastard I'll get you for this!
Nuriko(To Chichiri): I don't think they're taking this very well.
Chichiri: Can you blame them.
Hotohori: COME BAAAAAAAACK!!!!

THE END.

Nakago: Well I had to win sooner or later.


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The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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