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Mystery Science Theater 3000 Fan Fiction >> Fan-Fics >> Mystery Baklava Theater!!!!!!!!! VI.5

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

 

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Chapter 2
By Cartoonatic

 



Mystery Baklava Theater!!!!!!!!!!
Episode VI.5
written by Cartoonatic



It's disclaimer time!


Disclaimer: The fanfic, "Mist and Snow", is the property of its owner.
All characters used in said fanfic are the property of their owner(s).
"Mystery Science Theater 3000", which "Mystery Baklava Theater!!!!!!!!!"
is based on, is the property of its owner(s). The song Let it Snow, is the
property of its owner(s)."Mystery Baklava Theater!!!!!!!!"and all of the
characters used in it, are the property of myself.
Now, on with the MSTing!





---------------------------------------------------------------

Director: Okay, break's over! We're back on in three...
two... one...
Director's assistant: Action!

--------------------------------------------------------------

<Disclaimer: NARUTO is not owned by me.

Due to suggestions for a sequel to Mist & Snow,
I've written this little bit.>

Colba: Mist & Snow 2: Electric Boogaloo

<Is Yuki really as ethereally innocent as she appeared to Haku?>

Lloyd: Do pigs fly?

<--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gentle Snow>

Colba: As opposed to harsh sunshine.

<Zabuza is asleep. Haku's awake.>

Pupmon: The audience is bored.

<He is thinking of the four ninjas they must defeat.
The loudmouthed blond was very straightforward and friendly.>

Pupmon: Oh no, now it's a Sailor Moon(tm) crossover!

<He had chatted with him in the forest.
It's turning cold for this time of the year.>

Lloyd: Yeah, seeing as how it's Winter and all.

<Maybe tomorrow it will snow.
His thoughts wander back to his snow-covered homeland…

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

Pupmon: And now for something completely different.

<In the snowy mountains of their home country,
Yuki's furs were red with fresh blood.>

Colba: Wouldn't it make more sense to clean the furs
off before you wear them?

<She rolled about in the snow to clean them
and to dull the scent of blood.>

Pupmon: Nothing like a good roll in the snow to
get your adrenline pumping.

<She had killed again out of necessity.>

Lloyd: Well, her fur coat was getting a little thin.

<Five Jounins. She was getting good at this.
She whistled and her snow falcon came. >

Colba: *sings* On the wings of a snow-white falcon...

<She gathered her pack.>

Lloyd: *as Sid the sloth* Pack of flying fish!

<They must move.>

Pupmon: To the music?

<The Hidden Mist ninjas are bastards were she was concerned
all on them except that one who shared her bloodline.

Haku.

She treasured her freedom; he his bond with his master.
Freedom's price is loneliness.>

Pupmon: Hey, who needs company when you've got elbow room?

<She can take that, can't she?
That was the way she lived before meeting him
and in those years since he left.>

Colba: Years!? It's only been five minutes!

<She had secretly followed the pair until the border.
Why?>

Pupmon: Because she didn't have anything else to do?

<Should she have forsaken her freedom
and left with them?
No.>

Lloyd: Because two's company and three's a crowd.

<The snowy mountains are her home, her fortress.
She'll never leave them.
That was her choice. She does not regret it.>

Colba: And neither do we.

<She never told Haku.
Her pretty toys were her weapons.
The dance she so light-heartedly performed
was a form of fighting her mother had taught her.
Purity, freedom, innocence… all an illusion.>

Pupmon: Just like a matrix.

<Maybe it is better he thinks of her as a creature
born of mist and snow.
Mist, snow, ice… one and the same.>

Pupmon: Didn't we go over this in the last chapter?

<Didn't he see the ice he used in his attacks and the snow
she played with are one and the same?
Closing her eyes, Yuki inexplicably senses Haku's pain.
He is standing shrouded by the mist.
Wave country. Haku tastes defeat.>

Lloyd: Tastes like chicken.

<Driven by anger at Sasuke's death,
Naruto has taken away his meaning in life.>

Pupmon: I find this sentence very confusing.

Colba: I find this whole story to be confusing.

<Is that all there is to your life?
Have you really lost your usefulness?>

Lloyd: Well...

<Yuki tries to reach to him through the mist.>

Pupmon: *as Yuki* Darn it, I keep getting a busy signal!

<Can't you see me? Have you forgotten the snow?>

Lloyd: I would if I could.

<Please kill me.>

Pupmon: Oh, come on, the story isn't that bad!

<Yuki sees the anguish on the blond boy's face.
Finally, he gathers up the courage to make the charge.>

Lloyd: *imitates a trumpet playing Reville*

<Yuki breathes a sigh of relief as
Haku blocks his opponent's kunai.
A few deft movements, he is gone in a swirl of mist.>

Colba *monotone* Oh my gosh, Haku has dissapeared.
Where did he go?

<Yuki sees the snow is red where she had cleaned her furs.
She sees the red blood pooling
on the bridge as the mist cleared.
Oh Haku… She feels his life slipping away
with the mist as if it were hers.>

Lloyd: So, she's dying?

Colba: Maybe.

<A flash of steel tells her she has lingered too long.
The chase is on.>

Pupmon: Ah, yes, the good old chase scene.

<She whips up the snow into a blizzard and tries to flee.
A kunai catches her in the stomach.>

Pupmon: *as Yuki* Ha, that didn't hurt, well maybe a little.

<Still, she manages to throw off her pursuers.
Spent, Yuki shelters behind a rock.
Frost clung to her furs and silvery hair.
Her charka's dangerously low.>

Colba: Yuki's chakra is so low...

Pupmon & Lloyd: How low is it?

Colba: It's so low, even the audience can't see it.

Pupmon: Wow, that is low.

<They are here.>

Lloyd: And they are late.

<She can sense them closing in on her.
How can she escape?>

Colba: Well, she could always call on her trusty snow falcon.

<There's only one escape left.
The girl lets her remaining charka dissipate into the wind…
When the hunters came,
they found nothing but a patch of blood-stained snow.>

Lloyd: *as Hunter #1* Well, I guess we can kiss our jobs good-bye.

<Of the girl they were ordered to kill,
there was no sign of her.
Only the new snow swirling in the wind.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Snow. It is snowing in the Wave Country.>

Pupmon: Which is quite abnormal seeing as how
it's the middle of June.

<Snowing on the bridge where the battle has been fought.
The spectators wonder at the soft flakes dancing down.>

Colba: Hey, these snow flakes are fake!

<It's not the time of the year for snow.
Haku lies dead as the soft flakes fall.
He does not know their gentleness
or their beauty as they fell onto his cold face.
Somewhere in the clouds above,
Yuki's snow falcon soars freely through the flying snow.>

Lloyd: *as the snow falcon* Free at last, free at last!
Thank God almighty, I'm free at last!

<(END)>

All: *half-heartedly* Hooray.

<--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author's notes:

I know it's kinda sad an ending.
But snow always had this dream-like poignant quality to me.
For all its beauty, it is destined to melt in the warmth of the sun.>

Colba: So, is that it?

Pupmon: Yes, it's over.

Lloyd: Great, let's split.

*Pupmon, Colba, and Lloyd exit the room
and go to where Dr.Nemo's room*

Dr.Nemo: Ah, welcome back! So, what did you think?

Lloyd: Well, it was... it was... hmm, I don't know.
What did you think, guys?

Pupmon: Gloomy, definitely gloomy.

Colba: And confusing. I mean, who was the main character?
Haku or Yuki?

Pupmon: Maybe both.

Colba: Ah well, it was still confusing.

Dr.Nemo: *sing-song* I think someone sounds a little upset.

Colba: I'm not upset! I'm just a little peeved.

Dr.Nemo: Ah, I think I've gotten the better of you this time.

Colba: No, you haven't.

Dr.Nemo: Yes, I have and you just don't know it yet!

Pupmon: Now you're just being silly, doctor.

Lloyd: Yeah!

Dr.Nemo: Oh, very well. But mark my words, one day, when
you least expect it, I will find my will-breaker!

Lloyd: "Will-breaker"!? What you're talking about?

Dr.Nemo: I am talking about the one fanfic that is so terrible,
so loathesome, that it will instantly break the will
of anyone who dares to read it!

Pupmon: *gasps* That sounds terrible!

Dr.Nemo: And once I have found that fanfic, you will
read it, your wills will break, and I will have
no further use for you.

Colba: Gee, that...wait a second, did you just say you
wouldn't have any further use for us after we read
the "will-breaker"?

Dr.Nemo: Yes.

Pupmon: Well, that's great!

Lloyd: Yeah, we'll be free! Just like the snow-falcon.

Dr.Nemo: *chuckles* Well, I'd better get started.
*exits the room*

Pupmon: I can scarcely believe it, we'll finally be able
to leave this place.

Lloyd: Yeah, but remember what the doctor said, only if
he finds the "will-breaker", then he'll let us go.

Colba: But is it really worth sacrifing our dignity just
so we can get out of here?

*Silence ensues*

Pupmon: Yes.

Lloyd: Definitly.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Director: That's a wrap, cue the ending theme!

Director's assistant: Cue the ending theme!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ending theme: Let it Snow by Bing Crosby

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Can't you see me? Have you forgotten the snow?"

















 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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