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Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> System of a Down

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

 

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Corrugated? OHNOES!
By SugarSpider

 


Daron: Shavooo?

Shavo: Yeah?

Daron: I'm worried about John…he's just sitting there with an expressionless look on his face.

Shavo:……I fail to see the problem.

Daron: No, but look…PORNOGRAPHY!

John: *doesn't move*

Shavo: O_O Let me try! *shoves Daron aside* BOOBS!

Daron: He didn't even blink.

Serj: Let me try!

Shavo: Where did you come from?

Serj: Uh, where didn't I come from? Anyway. Look, John! A...uh, CYMBAL!

Daron: OH wow, where?!

Serj: ?_?

Shavo: *pokes John with a stick*

John: *falls over*

Shavo: OH MY GOD HE'S MADE OUT OF CARDBOARD!

John: *is made out of cardboard*

Daron: I knew it all along!

Serj: O_O But I fucked him!

Shavo: O_O

Daron: O_O

Serj: O_O

Shavo: You human-hole-puncher, you!

Serj: Are you sure he's made from cardboard? I mean, you only poked him with a stick.

Shavo: Don't doubt my methods!

Daron: Only one sure-fire way to find out…

A.N: Lame joke alert.

Daron: …set him on fire! *gets out matches*

Serj: You've set enough things ablaze for one day, Malakian! *yoinks matches*

Daron: Can I at least set a match on fire?

Serj: No!

Daron: I've always wanted to do that…

Serj: You did do it, it's how I lost my moustache, remember?!

Daron: No.

The REAL John: Heeeeelp!

Serj: Shut up sexy 2D John thing! Daron and I are having yet another important discussion about facial hair!

John: *falls from inside the chimbley* Freedom!

Shavo: What were you doing up the chimney?

John: Hiding from that FIEND! *points to cardboard John cutout*

Serj: *hugs cardboard John* Don't call him names! UH AH I MEAN, UH…why were you hiding? >_> <_< *thinks: almost gave my game away*

John: Well I was just sitting there with an expressionless look on my face, minding my own business, when suddenly he appeared out of nowhere and started attacking me! He probably wanted to take my place cuz I'm so cool and awesome and…well, maybe for the money.

Daron: So…the gist is, you got beat up by cardboard?

John: He's made from corrugated cardboard, Daron. CORRUGATED. Does that mean anything to you??

Daron: Well, actually--

John: *interrupts* So I had to find a good hiding place and well, I chose the chimney, for obvious reasons.

Serj: o_O

Shavo: You do realise that none of this makes any fucking sense, right?

Serj: All I know is I feel like a whole new man now. *clutches John…the 2D one*

Shavo: *jealous* I want a 2D John! Where did he come from anyway?

John: Erm…well, that's an interesting story actually because OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT SHINY DISTRACTION FULL OF POOORN! *runs*

Serj: -__-

Shavo: -__-

Daron: What? I don't see it!

THHEEE EEEENNNNNDDDDDD!

A.N: That was stupid even by my standards. I don't think I even have standards. Also, you SOAD authors need to stop being so angsty and lame. Well, now that I've insulted you collectively, please do send feeback! ^^

 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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