Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> System of a Down
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A Likely Story
A.N: This s a prequel to my fanfic for two reasons:
2. SOAD got a little bit pulverised in the last one and to be completely 100% honest, I was planning
to save their Zany Wheelchair Adventures for later.
TIP: If you wish to get more out of this story, I recommend the placing of a plastic bucket over
your head whilst reading.
Daron: Hmm, that is one interesting light bulb.
Serj: As opposed to two interesting light bulbs.
Daron: An Osram. 60 watts. Clear. A little squiggly thing in the middle. Ouch. It hurts to look at
the squiggly thing for too long.
Serj: Amuse yourself with this plank of wood. *take out plank of wood from behind back, like magic -
just like on cartoons*
Serj: Ask yourself: 'where has it come from?' 'where was it when Kurt Cobain was found dead?'
UNEXPECTED BEAUTY TIP: Mix in glow-in-the-dark paint with your acne cover-up. Now your zits will
glow like stars!
Shavo: *from outside or something* Heeeeelp! Drowniiing! I've fallen into a river!
John: *runs out* Oh no! What do we do--Daron! Are you pushing him further out?!
Daron: Uh, ah...the idea! *shifty glance* What were you saying?
Daron: I say we throw valuable objects in for Shavo to grab onto to keep afloat. Preferably
John: Preferably electrical? Are you trying to kill him?!?! *throws in drum kit - it lands on
Shavo: OW! You...whore-bacon! *stands up*
John: Hang on, YOU'RE STANDING UP! (John the budding detective strikes again.)
Daron: That's no river! 'Tis a mere puddle!
John: Funny how we didn't notice that until after I'd thrown in my expensive drum kit and smashed it
Shavo: Haha! April fools!
A.N: Did I forget to mention that it's April Fools Day? Well it is. What do you mean
Daron and John skipped away in disgust. Yep, disgusted skipping abound.
SUDDENLY a crocodile swam up behind Shavo (well, it kind of floundered, but it's not as sinister as
swam. Yes, swam is a very sinister word.) Anyway it was behind Shavo and (cue the Jaws theme) wait
for iiiit...waaaait foorr iiiiit...THE CROCODILE SEIZED A MELLOW-BLUE IKEA LAMP #24 TO SQUISH SHAVO!
Dun, dun, DUN!
Back inside of the...uh...wherever, Serj, Daron and John are rehearsing for their new song called
FuckTheSueySuite-ForestSueySoilSpiderSueyDDevilShimmyPrisonSuey. (They later decided to change the
song name to FTSSFSSSSDSPS, because people had trouble pronouncing the other one.)
Anyway, as usual, someone was complaining about Daron's singing.
Daron: Pineapple, pineapple, pineapple, pineapple, porcelain, pineapple, porcelain, porcelain,
Serj: Daron, you're all flat!
Daron: *looks at chest, tears fill eyes* Way to rub it in, Serj! *sob*
Serj: I give up. *about to leave room, stops at door* Hang on, it's April Fools Day and John isn't
unconscious. There's BOUND to be a bucket filled with a gooey substance on top of this door.
John: Nah, Daron ate the contents.
Serj: A likely story! WELL I won't fall for that one! *goes through other door but SUDDENLY
AND INSTANTLY there's a CRASH and falling PLASTER falls ON the FLOOR as the ceiling IS caved in AND
a large PIECE of CORAL FALLS ONTO SERJ'S head, squishing HIM. INTO TINY BITS.
Daron: There seems to be an abundance of squishing around he--*gets squished by gargantuan INCENSE
Manager-Person-Guy: *appears with an MSN ping and look at John* Oi, you, concert, now.
NEXT THING YOU KNOW HE'S AT THE CONCERT coz I can't be bothered to write out the whole getting-there
thing and I didn't want the boredom of logic.
AND NOW HE'S SUDDENLY ONSTAGE.
John: O______________O *drums?*
Person1: Hey, this sucks.
Person2: Yeah, let's leave.
Person3: No, wait! It's John from System!
Person1: All of a sudden, I LOVE this concert!
Person2: Yeah, I can play this song!
Person1: So what? I know all the lyrics.
John: *drum, drum, still drumming*
Fanfic reader: Is this it?
John: *is squished somehow*
Fanfic reader: About time too.
This fanfic was written only on 100% dolphin skin pulp.
Constructive criticism it overrated, I demand only compliments and/or marriage proposals.
AN ADVERT: My spine is my friend. Long live spines. Without them doing the limbo would be a
pushover! Literally. Vertebrate and proud! Snails? Pssht, the fools! No posture at all! GOT SPINE?
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The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.
Please see the Terms of Service for more information.