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Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> System of a Down

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

 

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WAR!!!!111ONEONENOE
By SugarSpider

 


A.N: People often ask me why I write...I'm a writer. I get to write a lot. I am lucky. Luckier than if I was a builder. If I was a builder, I would hardly get to write at all. If I was a dog, same thing...not much writing. I have a friend who makes plastic things that fit on the ends of hoses. He doesn't get to write at all. Not that he minds, because he loves making plastic things that fit on the end of hoses. He'd hate to be a writer. I, however, would hate to make plastic things that fit on the end of hoses. That's why I'm a writer.

John: Shavo!

Shavo: *in shower* Yeah?

John: Hurry up!

Shavo: I'll be out in a minute!

He just wasn't going to specify which minute that would be.

John: Dammit. Everything on my plate looks glac?ed. Daron!

Daron: Yeees?

John: Did you fill the salt grinder with sugar?

Daron: No.

It was true. He'd only half-filled it with sugar.

John: Gurr. Now I'm going to go punch some walls and shout a lot. Hmm, maybe I'll go write some angst.

Serj: -__-

John: Or I could take my anger out on the world for depriving me of savoury food and showers! I SHALL WREAK HAVOC UPON THE WORLD BY CUTTING THEIR SHIRT LABELS OFF AT AN UNUSUAL ANGLE! So much so, that they'll be FOREVER SCRATCHING THE BACK OF THEIR NECKS!!!!111~~11ONEONENOE And things will be...uh...really itchy! And uh...not good, yea!

Serj: *scared* O_O Holy poop!

Daron: Hey, if I've learnt anything from what Serj drones on about--

Serj: Hey!

Daron: It's that the solution for everything is war.

Serj: What?!

John: Capital idea, Mr. Shakely! Where's my bommy-knocker?

Shavo: *out of shower - how convenient* You have a bommy-knocker?

John: No, I've just always wanted to say the word bommy-knocker. >_>

Shavo O_o o_O

Daron: Ooh, I know what we can use for ammo! It's all so obvious! Tic Tacs! *gets out Tic Tacs*

Shavo: No way! What if they get stuck in my beard?

Daron: I suppose it *would* take a freakishly good shot to kill someone with one of these...

John: O_o Daron, I think we should just--

Daron: I'm trying to think! You're distracting me! Go away Dr. Distracto!

Serj: Um...why don't we all just have a nice game of I-Spy?

*tumbleweed rolls past*

*clock sounds in distance*

*crickets can be heard*

Serj: -__- Fine.

John: Ooh, I know! I know! We can play I-Spy!

Shavo: Yeah!

Daron: Great idea!

Serj: O_O But--

Shavo: Shush, Serj, we're playing I-Spy.

Serj: -__-

A.N: This story looks like it's getting exciting, doesn't it???

Daron: I spy with my little eye something beginning with Eeeeee!

Shavo: O_O Egg!

Daron: No.

Shavo: O_O Easter egg!

Daron: No.

Shavo: O_O Eagle egg!

Daron: No!

Shavo: O_O Uhh...uhh...EGG!

Daron: What the--? NO!

John: I KNOW! I KNOW!

Daron: ...

John: EMU!

Daron: -__- ...no.

Serj: Eyes.

Daron: Eyes? How could it be eyes? It doesn't even start with an E!

Serj: It does so!

Daron: Does not! It starts with an I!

Serj: What?! Eyes! E-Y-E-S!

Daron: o_o I...uhh...I thought you said 'ice'...>_>

Serj: -__-...elephant...

Daron: How the fuck could it be an elephant?

Serj: It could be an ectoplasmic elephant.

John: O_o

Shavo: o_O

Daron: ...System of a what?

Serj: -__- Ectoplasmic means 'like a ghost', so it would be an invisible elephant. Ha.

Daron: AHA! BUT THEN HOW WOULD I BE ABLE TO SEE IT??

John and Shavo: <_<

Serj: Shut up.

John and Shavo: >_>

Daron: You shut up.

John and Shavo: <_<

Serj: No, YOU shut up.

John and Shavo: >_>

Daron: You shut up...times infinity more than whatever you say!

John and Shavo: <_<

Serj: You shut up times infinity to the power of ten!

John and Shavo: >_>

Daron: You can't do that!

John and Shavo: <_<

Serj: I just did.

John and Shavo: >_>

Daron: But infinity if infinite. It's already bigger than infinity to the power of ten so I win!

John and Shavo: <_<

Serj: But I haven't shut up, have I? So you lose.

John and Shavo: >_>

Daron: Curses.

John and Shavo: @_@

Serj: Hahar! I win! Let us fire guns into the air to celebrate!

Shavo: Uhh...*squints one eye* o_=...maybe later...

John: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

Shavo: Don't get your knickers in a knot.

John: BUT I'M BORED!

Shavo: Don't get your knickers in a knot.

John: QUIT SAYING THAT!!!!!!11!!11~~11

Shavo: Okay, okay...don't get your trousers in a twist.

John: *twitch, twitch*

Daron: Ooh, I know what's fun!

Serj: What?

Daron: Firrrre!

Serj: Holy potato chips!

Daron: *matches appear in his hand as if from nowhere* Jejejeje!

Shavo: O_o How does he DO that??

Daron: Quiet you! *unsheathes match*

John: Oh no! *points* LOOK, A PTERODACTYL!

Daron: >_> WHERE? IS IT ON FIRE?

Serj: *takes matches* Yoink!

Daron: Damn and blast!...I missed the pterodactyl!!!

AND SUDDENLY, TO MAKE THE PLOT (there's a plot?) A LOT MORE INTERESTING, SYSTEM OF A DOWN WERE ZAPPED INTO A TETRIS COMPUTER GAME!!!!!111!!~~##!!

Shavo: Oh no, not again!

A shadow appears from above, getting bigger and bigger.

Serj: *points* It's an L-shaped Tetris block! O_O

Daron: I'LL BUILD IT'S ASS INTO A FIREPLACE IF IT GOES ANYWHERE NEAR ME MATCHE--waitaminute they're gone...

Serj: *whistle*

The shadow on them, gets bigger and bigger and...(would you believe it)...bigger! Turns out they're a lot bigger than they appear on the Game Boy. But oh no! System of a Down are too busy examining Daron's pink shoelaces to even see the Tetris block squish them! DID THEY DIE? FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTER.

NEXT CHAPTER...SYSTEM OF A DOWN ARE ALIVE! Serj karate kicked the block off of them and it spun through the air and landed on a pile of random bricks in the corner. It rotates, slots in, and vanishes. Eh?

TEH EDN!

~*~*~*~*~

A.N: SO ALL OF YOU TAKE THE RED PILL AND JOIN ME IN THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM OR HYRULE. WHICHEVER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!11!!!1!!~!~1#!~~!#~!#1#1#!!!!!!111ONEOENNOOEOMGOMGOM GBBQ

FEED MY BACK.

 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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