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Anime/Manga Fan Fiction >> Sailor Moon

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

 

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Rabbit Season
By D.B Sommer

 

Oh, I know. There is no excuse for this one:


Rabbit Season
(A Sailor Moon spamfic)


Standard disclaimer: Hell, no. I don't own any of them.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Usagi ran for her life through the night shrouded woods, visions of the
Blair Witch Project not running through her mind since she had not seen the
movie. And even if she had, she would have simply complained about how the
camera action was choppy, the plot was hard to understand, and how could
you be scared about a bad guy you never even get to see? Besides, the idea
of Chibi-usa as her daughter had shown her the true face of terror, and
only the one stalking her could cause that sort of fear for her anymore.

Branches and thorns racked across her skin as she crashed through the
underbrush, praying for escape. Behind her there was the sound of the
hunter moving just as quickly as her, hot on her tail, somehow following
her path even through the near pitch blackness. How could he keep up with
her? He was inhuman.

He had been chasing her since Juban, showing her that nowhere was safe. Not
Nerima. Not Yokohama. Not even in El Hazard. Wherever she turned, he was
there, pursuing her, stalking her. She had tried all of her attacks: Tiara
Action, Healing Escalation, Rainbow Moon Heartache, even the bitch slapping
technique Sailor Hellblazer had taught her. All were to no avail; none of
them had any lasting effect. Oh, sure, she could stun him (especially with
the bitch slap), but it would only last for a few moments before he would
shake off the effects of the blast and come right after again as though
nothing had happened. Metallia. Wiseman. DDFA. None of them had proven this
invincible. Yet none of them had the unique...abilities the hunter seemed
to possess.

He wasn't part of the Dark Kingdom; she was certain of that. He was some
other kind of monster, even if he didn't look all that monstrous. Well,
actually he looked kind of silly with his pudgy body, bald head, and
ridiculous looking hunter's outfit with matching deerstalker he wore. But
the shotgun he lugged around made him more dangerous than anyone she had
ever faced. Besides, there was something disturbing about being assaulted
with conventional weaponry when compared to all the bizarre attacks she had
suffered under the countless Youmas that she had fought for what seemed her
entire life. Luckily, his marksmanship was remarkably poor, though he never
seemed to reload the gun. Fifty rapid fire blasts from a double-barreled
shotgun seemed a bit strange, even to Usagi Tsukino. Maybe the guy was from
Los Angeles.

Usagi tripped over an exposed root, causing her to fall to the ground. The
impact winded her, similar to that one time Rei had gotten really pissed
and slugged Usagi in the gut. Sure, afterwards Rei had apologized and told
Usagi to hit her back, but she had not wanted to do it. Usagi understood
that sometimes people lost their tempers and did things they later
regretted, but Rei would not hear of it and insisted. So Usagi complied and
cracked Rei in the head, chest, and legs with a baseball bat. And then
afterwards Rei had the nerve to complain about it, the bitch. It wasn't
like she had used a metal bat or something.

"Ah ha. I have caught you napping."

Usagi rolled up to a sitting position and found herself looking down the
barrel of the gun. She knew it was over. Her life flashed before her eyes.
It contained all of the snacks she had eaten. All of the naps she had taken
in class. The dreams she had of throwing Chibi-usa into a tree shredder.
Getting drunk and having Luna neutered. That time Haruka and Michiru had
stripped her naked and covered her in chocolate syrup and the things they
had done afterward. Oh sure, the duo had claimed it was all for a
television spot for an ice cream company, and they had indeed taped the
whole thing, but Usagi had never seen that advertisement run on any
television show she had been watching.

"Are you finished with your wife passing before your eyes? I weally want to
shoot you now."

"But why?" Usagi wailed, her tears flowing in Soun-like buckets. "I'm so
young. I haven't done anything bad. I still have to lead the world with my
Utopia like society in the future."

"You're supposed to wead a Utopia in the future, to be the sawvation of
mankind?"

"Yes."

The hunter clicked the hammer back on his shotgun. "Then I'm weally doing
the world a favor. Huhuhuhuh."

"You still haven't said why you want to kill me?" Usagi wailed again.

"Because its wabbit season," the hunter replied, drawing a bead on Usagi
again.

"But I'm not a rabbit," Usagi pointed out.

"What's your name?"

"Usagi."

"What's that transwate to?"

Usagi had to think on that one. "Umm. Hold on. I know this one. Umm,
rabbit?" It took a moment, and then the light popped on. Usagi began
wailing once more. "Waaa! It is open season on me!"

"Say your pwayers, wabbit," the hunter clicked the hammer on the gun again,
even though he had already done so earlier. It was just so dramatic he
couldn't resist.

It was as the hunter was about to pull back on the trigger that Usagi tired
one last thing that might save her life. Under the circumstances, it was
the only thing she could think of, and considering how silly all of her
attacks were, it could hardly be considered far fetched.

She jammed her fingers in the gun barrels. Usagi was rewarded as the force
of the bullets, rather than blowing her fingers off, blew up the gun and
caused a backblast to go up the barrel and strike the hunter in the face.
As the smoke cleared, she saw that with the hunter was now singed black
from the blow. She had won.

A moment later, Elmer Fudd fell over, barely conscious as he listened to
Usagi merrily skip off, crunching on a carrot and saying how Setsuna was
dead meat for not warning her about this one.

And as for Usagi Tsukino, alas, unfortunately for her, on the way back to
Juban she lost one of her ponytails to Miaka Yuuki from Fushigi Yuugi, who
mistook it for a meatball and bit it clean off Usagi's head.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yes, feel free to send death threats to
sommer@3rdm.net






 

The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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