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Mystery Science Theater 3000 Fan Fiction >> Fan-Fics >> Mystery Baklava Theater!!!!!!!!! VI.5

The following is a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.


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Chapter 1
By Cartoonatic


Mystery Baklava Theater!!!!!!!!
Episode VI
written by Cartoonatic

It's disclaimer time!

Disclaimer: The fanfic, "Mist and Snow", is the property of its owner.
All characters used in said fanfic are the property of their owner(s).
"Mystery Science Theater 3000", which "Mystery Baklava Theater!!!!!!!!!"
is based on, is the property of its owner(s). "Mystery Baklava Theater!!!!!!!!"
and all of the characters used in it, are the property of myself.
Now, on with the MSTing!


Director: Cue the theme song in three... two... one...
Director's assistant: Action!


In the not-too-distant future
Next Monday A.D.
There was a radio named Nemo
How he became sentient don't ask me
He spent his time plotting revenge
Which to his rivals he would send
One day he found the perfect torture
But he had to test it on some innocent people first

Dr. Nemo: I'll send them cheesey fan fics
The worst I can find (lalala)
They'll have to sit and watch them all
And I'll monitor their minds (lalala)

Now keep in mind the victims can't control
When the fics begin or end (lalala)
Because Dr.Nemo used those special parts
To collect the victims

*whistle blows* Roll call!

"Hello world!"

"I come in peace."

"I come in pieces."

If you're wondering how they eat and sleep
And other science facts (lalala)
Remind yourself that it's only fiction
I should really just relax
For "Mystery Baklava Theater!!!!!!!!"


* The scene-- a small, circular room with a desk in
the center of the room, on top of the desks are a few books
and a dented laptop. In the back of the room is a large, green
door with a sign on the door saying, "Come on in....if you dare."*

* Sitting on top of the desk is a small purple canine-esque
female alien named Pupmon. Seated next to her is a small robot
named Lloyd, with a lamp for a body, ping-pong balls for eyes,
and utensils for hands. Sitting on the floor reading a book,
is a leopard-esque alien named Colba.

* Pupmon turns and faces the camera*

Pupmon: Greetings everyone, and welcome to "Mystery Baklava
Theater!!!!!!!!". I'm Pupmon, and these are my friends, Colba and

Lloyd: *waves to the camera* Hi!

Colba: *looks up from the book for a moment, waves to the
camera, and then returns to reading the book*

Pupmon: As you can see, we're not really doing anything.

Colba: *looks up from the book for a moment*
Speak for yourselves, I am doing something.

Lloyd: Sure, you're doing something but not anything exciting.

Colba: *sighs and goes back to reading the book*

Pupmon: Well, Lloyd and I are so bored it's not even funny.

Lloyd: Who said it was funny?

Pupmon: No one, it's a figure of speech.

Colba: *looks up from his book again* If you two
must be bored, could you be bored quietly? I'm still reading.

Pupmon: *whispers* Oh, sorry.

*Silence ensues*

Lloyd: *whiny* Oh, this is even more boring than before!

Pupmon: Well, we could surf the web if this laptop weren't broken.

Lloyd: Yeah, we should ask Dr.Nemo if he can fix it.

* A few seconds later, Dr.Nemo hops into the room*

Dr.Nemo: Somebody call me?

Pupmon: Ah, Dr.Nemo, what a surprise. What brings you here?

Dr.Nemo: The experiment of course.

Pupmon: I know, however, you usually have us come to you,
instead of vice versa.

Dr.Nemo: *thinks for a moment* I guess I was so excited about today's
experiment, I forgot all about it.

Pupmon: You don't say.

Dr.Nemo: Oh, but I do say.

Lloyd: Exscuse me, Doc, but what about the experiment?

Dr.Nemo: Hmm? Oh yes, the experiment. The experiment
I am presenting to you today is a little Naruto(tm) story called
"Mist and Snow".

Lloyd: Sounds like a Lifetime Original Movie.

Dr.Nemo: And not only does it feature an OC, it's also a two-parter!

Pupmon: A two-parter? Will we get breaks?

Dr.Nemo: No.

Lloyd: Pardon my ignorance, but what's an OC?

Colba: *looks up from his book for the third time*
It means "original character".

Lloyd: Oh, thank you.

Pupmon: I hope you took our advice about giving us
a lesser amount of good fics, doctor.

Dr.Nemo: You're a real glutton for punishment, aren't you?

Pupmon: Well...

Dr.Nemo: Don't answer that. Anyway, I think I'll head back
to my room now, so you three can get the experiment underway.
Bye now! *hops away*

Pupmon and Lloyd: Bye!

Lloyd: You're really focused on that book, aren't you Colba?

Colba: *still reading the book* Mmm-hmm.

Pupmon: Well, you're gonna have to take a break,
cause we've got FANFIC SIGN!


Door 6
Door 5
Door 4
Door 3
Door 2
Door 1


* Pupmon, Colba, and Lloyd take their seats*

Colba: And just when it was starting to get exciting!

Lloyd: Oh well, at least we won't be bored anymore.

<Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.>

Colba: Then, what do you own?

<Mist and Snow>

Pupmon: *sings* Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...

<Snowflakes are falling. Zabuza is waiting.>

Lloyd: For the fanfic to end.

<Haku hurried to catch up to him as they leave this country
of mist and snow. He will miss the falling snow he used to hate...
Why must it snow?>

Colba: I don't know, go ask your mother.

<It interferes with his concentration.
The panting boy>

Lloyd: Panty boy!?

Pupmon: Panting, Lloyd, not panty.

Lloyd: Oh.

<focused his charka on the needles
and let them slice through the air. They missed.>

Colba: *as Haku* Oh, I give up!

<He has been training since daybreak without rest. Was he tired?>

All: Yes.

<No, a tool does not tire.>

Pupmon: A tool can break, though.

<The strain finally overwhelmed Haku.
He collapsed face down onto the snow.>

Lloyd: *as Charlie McCarthy* Kerplop.

<The white of her dress is stained red.>

Pupmon: Good luck getting that stain out.


Colba: *as Babe* Ma!

<He reached out for her.
Dead, she's dead. Pa is standing over him.
Crying, Pa is crying.>

Lloyd: *sings* You're gonna cry 96 tears...

<The villagers are threatening shadows on the edge of his vision.
Nooo! He screamed. An icy blast tore apart their home...>

All: TOGG!

<killing his Pa and the others.
"You'll catch a cold," a gentle voice pierced the silence.>

Colba: *as the silence* Ow!

<Haku opened his eyes to find a girl bending over him.
How? Why?>

Pupmon: Who?

Colba: What?

Lloyd: When?

All: Where?

<He sat up, still feeling faint from his exertions.
"Who are you?">

Lloyd: *as Mushu* I think the question is who are you!?

<No one should be here except him and Zabuza.>

Pupmon: Well, so much for privacy.

<She was young, his age.
Her flowing hair was silver-white and
she wore a white outfit of patch-worked furs.>

Colba: Just think of all the little animals that have died
at this girl's hands.

Pupmon: Tsk tsk.

<"Yuki. I live near here," the girl smiled. "You are Haku, right?">

Lloyd: *as Puss-in-Boots* For you, baby, I could be.

<Haku tensed.>

Colba: Past tensed.

<"I've been watching you train for a while."
The girl walked a few steps and kicked up a flurry of snow.>

Pupmon: Hey, watch where you're kicking that snow!

<Haku watched in amazement as the flakes hung in the air,
melted and reshaped into a latticed ball of ice.>

Colba: *as Haku* I can do that.

<"We share the same cursed bloodline."
She tossed the ball into the air and
caught it lightly in her hands.
"You were spying on us all this time?"
Yuki nodded. She let the ball melt back into water.
Why hadn't he or Zabuza sensed her presence?>

Lloyd: How should we know?

<She must be real good at hiding her presence.
Afterwards, they spoke when he has finished training.
Alone, unwanted... Haku felt sorry for her.
At least he had a purpose with Zabuza.>

Pupmon: A twisted purpose, but a purpose nonetheless.

<Yuki seemed to be drifting like the snowflakes on the wind.
She lived alone on the snow-covered mountain.>

Colba: Except for all the little animals, most of which are
dead because they're on her COAT!

Pupmon: Colba, let it go.

Colba: *mutters*

<Is she as lonely and lost like he was before meeting Zabuza?
"Yuki, do you want to have a purpose to live for?
Have you any dreams?">

Pupmon: *sings* These dreams go on when I close my eyes...

<Maybe he can persuade Zabuza to take in another tool...>

Lloyd: Well, you can never have too many shovels.

<Zabuza will welcome a child with her abilities
as he had accepted him.
"I'm as the snow," she pulled a face.>

Pupmon: That sounds painful.

<"I'm no one's tool. Do you like the snow?"
Haku shook his head.
"Well, I do," she spun around,>

Colba: Whee!

<sending a shower of snowflakes flying.>

Lloyd and Pupmon: *as the snowflakes* Yay, we can fly! Whee!

<"Haku, can you stay?"

All: *sing* The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah...

<Can he stay?
"Haku, you're late," Zabuza scolded as he came in.
The boy sat down beside him by the fire.
"Sir, my needles can hit the target from hundred fifty feet now,"
he reported his progress.>

Colba: *as Zabuza* Do I look like I care?

<"Don't over do it. Get some rest. A damaged tool is of no use..."
Zabuza ruffled his hair.
Snow's falling again. Why do I hate the snow?>

Pupmon: Is this supposed to be an interactive fanfic?

Lloyd: It might as well be, the way they keep asking all of these


Pupmon: Oh, look, a trail of dead flies. Eww.

<Water, snow, ice and mist...they are one and the same.>

Colba: Technically speaking, yes.

<Yuki told him as she suspended a blob of water between
her hands the way
he used to do when he first discovered his abilities.
Like you and I, she smiled her pure smile.>

Lloyd: So, they're cousins?

Colba: Technically speaking, maybe.

<They shared the same abilities,
but at the same time were vastly different.>

Lloyd: *sings* We're fire and ice, a dream won't come true...

<Haku wanted a purpose in his existence
and he found it in Zabuza, who needed his power.
Yuki did not. He used his ability to form sturdy blocks of ice
to be used for>

Pupmon: Making snowcones.

<defense or to facilitate his attacks.
She used hers to sculpt delicate things that spoke of air and light.>

Lloyd: So, she makes sculptures that do nothing but talk
about air and light? Weird.

<She loved the snow, often spinning amidst the falling flakes like a>

Pupmon: Moron.


Night. It is cold.>

Colba: And the weatherman said it was supposed to be warm!

<Haku watched as his breath hung like a fine mist.>

Pupmon: When it's so cold outside you can see your breath,
it's time to go back inside.

<They always slept back-to-back under the
same patched quilt for warmth.>

Colba: Unfortunately, it was a thinly patched quilt.

<Zabuza was asleep.
His snores broke the still of the night.>

All: *sing* In the still of the night...

<Will Yuki be cold?>

All: Yes.

<She had shown him her little den,
an abandoned fox hole under a large tree.
Haku tried to get up. He should go to Yuki.
"Where are you going?"
A large hand gripped him firmly as Zabuza questioned.
What should he say?>

Pupmon: How should we know, you're the one writing the story.

<Zabuza nodded. "It's that girl, isn't it?">

Pupmon: *sings* Quien es esa nina...

Colba and Lloyd: *sing* Who's that girl?

<So he knew about Yuki!
A flash of alarm passed over Haku's face. Zabuza smiled.>

Colba: Or frowned, you can never really tell with him wearing
those bandages.

<"Haku, a tool's a good tool if it obeys its master.
A weapon that does not obey its master is more dangerous.
It is better not to have such a tool around."
Haku allowed himself to be pulled back onto their bed where
Zabuza placed an arm over his shoulders, almost possessively.>

Pupmon: Is it getting hot in here?

Lloyd: Parents, now would be a good time to talk to your children.

<It is warm here. Outside in the blizzard, it will be freezing.>

Colba: What do you expect? It's a blizzard!

<I cannot face this cold world alone...I am not like Yuki.>

Pupmon: But then again, who is?

<Haku dozed off.>

Lloyd: *snores*


Colba: Speak softly and carry a long stick.

<Will you stay?>

Pupmon: We would, but Dr.Nemo probably wants us
to read more fanfics.

<She asked the next day,
reaching out to him as she spun amidst the
snow shower she had created.>

Lloyd: *sings* I'm singing in the snow...

<When he did not reply,
she simply shrugged her shoulders and continued her dance.>

All: *sing* Let's dance!

Colba: *sings* Put on your red shoes and dance the blues...

<He understood. Yuki is a free spirit.>

Colba: *as Mr.Humphrey* I'm free!

<She does not need him as Zabuza needs him.
Her friends are the snow, ice and mist.>

Pupmon: They may not talk much, but they throw one
heck of a party!

<So he can leave her.
"Haku, are you coming?"
He had stopped again and almost looked back.
He nodded and hurried to catch up.
"One day, we'll return." Zabuza patted his head.
Somewhere in the snow and mist,>

Pupmon: A deer is dying.

<Yuki is dancing her dance of freedom.>

Lloyd: For a fanfic with no songs in it, there sure is
a lot of dancing going on.

<She'll be kicking up the drifts
and sculpting her pretty toys from the snow.>

Colba: At least she has a hobby.

<He can picture her spinning, her silvery hair flying
and her musical laugh rising with the wind...>

Pupmon: *sings* The hills are alive with the sound of music...

<Strange, Haku mused. He'll miss the gently falling snow.>

Colba: But he won't miss Yuki.

<The same snow he used to hate.


All: *half-heartedly* Hurray.

<Author's notes:

A bit of an insight into Haku's thoughts on leaving his homeland.>

Lloyd: Oh, so that's what this story was about.

<In case you're interested, yuki means snow.>

Pupmon: *as author* I think when you read a fanfic, you
should learn something.

Colba: So, is the story over?

Pupmon: No, we still have one more chapter to go.

Colba: Oh well.


Director: And cut! That's a wrap, cue the break!

Director's assistant: Cue the break!



The preceeding was a work of fiction. Any statements regarding any person, place, or other entity (real or imaginary) is the sole responibility of the author of this work of fiction. Fan Works Inc. takes no responsibility for the content of user submitted stories. All stories based on real people are works of fiction and do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. All stories based on other copyrighted works are written with authors knowing that these works violate copyright laws.

Please see the Terms of Service for more information.

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