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Original Drama >> General >> Differences >> Reviews

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Reviewer E-Mail Date
Part #6 - Little One
Ash                    (ANONYMOUS) N/A 11/16/2004 06:35:32pm

Nice nice!!! Yarg......what to say?? Hrmmm. Well I could understand it. I am not that good with grammar but if things piss me off bad enough to write about them in a review then you know that you really messed up. If it is minor, I usually let it be. Which is what I saw, slight minor things with phrasing and word order. It would seem confusing for some people to read it if they didn't know you at some parts. You write this like it is your little diary and that you are talking to someone, Full out, no pauses or breaks. I am not saying that it needs to be some formal essay that I can spit out in 5 minutes for a nice A in some English 110 class. Elaborate a bit, add in some transition words and such and it should be in good shape. Nice overall, keep it up.

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