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Musicians/Music Groups Fan Fiction >> Avenged Sevenfold >> MAKE-BELIEVE >> 14. Hope >> Reviews

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Hellbell Shadows                   (User #7632) N/A 08/11/2011 01:35:50am

correction: Jess should NOT give her hopes

Hellbell Shadows                   (User #7632) N/A 08/11/2011 01:32:56am

I've just been so busy! I've had the time to read it, but not to review it.
I hope someday you find somewhere in your heart where you can forgive me.
I already finished the Book II, but now that I finally sat in my PC I'm taking the time to review every single chapter before I start reading Book III, even I hating reviewing, cause hey, you, of everyone else in the whole world, deserves to recieve this and all the other reviews.
I already had all my reviews writen on my little notepad, but I left it on my aunt's house so forgive me for my crappy reviews on this and on the others chapters of Book II after this one.

Now that I already said I'm sorry, here's my review:

First with the soundtrack, I loved how you fit Madonna in it, I love her, and you were so right, I download the Fisher song, and it was really worth it.
Just so you know, now, thanks to you, everytime I hear I Won't see you tonight part1 I remember Ana and Zacky. Don't worry, I'm not complaining. (:
An I was listening to Blink 182, and I don't know if you like 'em, but there's this one song, Please Take Me Home that reminds me of Zacky and Cookie Pie, in Zach's POV.

I feel like you must be already tired of reading this long-ass review, but I promise I'll start talking about the plot right now.

I hate how Cookie Pie is suffering, I hate and hate and hate it! Jess should give her hopes.
I mean, I know it's truth, all of that, but just hurts her so bad, and I hate it.
Yeah, yeah, I know that's the exactly oposite of what I said in my last review, but she suffers so much from having such a little hope.
And then comes Jimmy and helps fuel the hope.
And stupid Zacky comes with “Whatever makes you happy dude.” Yes, cause this will REALLY help in the not-hurting-her plan. (by the way, I loved this line)
It does not surprise me at all that Jimmy called the one woman who tried to ruin his life to have a 'one-afternoon stand', like he said himself.
And Benji is so cute, I really think if Zacky wasn't so perfect to Ana he would be a good boyfriend.
How could I almost forget reviewing one of the cuttest things Zach already made?
Coming to Ana's room to ask her not to go on a dete with Benji, just, ahhh, the CUTTEST THING IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!


Ps: Sorry for this huge review, to say the least, and sorry again for not reviewing sooner, I'll see if I can finish my review to next chapter still today, other wise I swear I'll review it tomorow.
Ps2: I just loved your Jimmy Tattoo, maybe I'll do mine next month, It'll be a Sullivan 0 on my back, just like his.
Ps3: I'm sorry again.


Liera                   (User #9529) N/A 12/30/2010 07:17:56am

haha, i felt all sorts of emotions from this one. I was like "Yess! Grrr! Yess!!! Grrr!! YESS!!!" hahahaha it was starting to hurt my brain but i really did love this one. I especially loved how jealous he was when she mentioned his name and when he came into her room and plopped on her bed & muffled that he didn't want her to go out with Benji. I was like awwwwwww :) I have hope for them!

Haylie Jaed                   (User #3426) N/A 04/11/2010 04:44:15am

This chapter frustrated me so damn much.

Firstly, Jimmy is far too smart for his own damn good. It's great that everybody's giving her hope about the situation, but somebody needs to sit down and give that same talk to Zacky. And soon. In the meantime, Jimmy and his giving her so much hope is annoying me. Simply because she thinks it's just hope - she needs to realise that he's in love with her!! Gahh!! The things with Leana, I'll admit, had my mind reeling. At first I was mortified by the things that she had done (slitting her own throat, and then telling the police that Jimmy had tried to kill her) and then I was horrified at Jimmy - he's an evil genius, and that was the best boredom cure he could come up with? Johnny Christ, what the hell is wrong with him?! Still...somewhat amusing. And I suppose it could have been worse - he could have been making a porno with Paris Hilton. ;)

Secondly, Benji... At first I thought it was Evan on the phone, but after she was acting all nice I realised it was Benji. Interesting...and wow, word does travel fast. Though I suppose since the two bands are friends it would travel faster between them - so good word there. ;) And I have to add, I loved the whole being able to Google it before it happened comment. XD It's funny because it's absolutely true. Google'll tell you that Val's pregnant, but I'll bet she doesn't know it yet herself. =P Anyway - I don't like this. Zacky specifically told him to stay away, and friends don't move in on their friend's ex...however you would put it. So, I sense drama. But I also feel kinda bad for Benji, 'cause she's sort of leading him on. Not once did it seem to cross her mind that, "Hey, I'm going out with a friend" or even an ex-crush or anything. All she thought about was Zacky - sweet, but also dangerous.

Thirdly, Zacky needs a hug and a slap across the back of his head. I'm starting to sympathise with more than detest his situation now. He honestly doesn't realise what's going on. It's a freakin' annoying situation to be in - I know, because I recently went through something similar. First time really crushing on a guy, and it took me almost a year to realise - 'cause I'd never really crushed on anybody before. So I can understand what he's going through, thus wanting to give him a gigantic hug. On the other side, slapping some sense into him might bring better results. ;)

I'm so addicted to this. I love you. XD


synsterr                   (User #7349) N/A 03/11/2010 08:25:36am

Not sure how anyone could hate this chapter.
Well, I could actually.
You just described the most perfect love. Feeling the warmth of
your other half after so much time being apart, yet still having
every single feeling that you never let go. And seeing each other
every day.

The ending was absolute perfection, and I don't know whether to
cry or to say 'aww', to 'yay!' or what. I totally feel like Zack.. I
don't know what the hell.. how this made me feel. Haha.

Even with all the pain, I totally wish I was Ana right now.
Its something some may never find..though I know I won't be one
of them because of the drive.

Is it freaky that we JUST recently talked about the most important
things, were music, family and love? Yet I hadn't read this chapter
Yeah.. in sync. Haha.

Though I have to say how you mentioned Ana missed the rain...
um... we've had so much rain here since 2010 started, its so
ridiculous!!!! LOL. Definitely not normal since we were in so much
of a drought last year. Haha.

My new favorite chapter.. easily.
Fantastic writing... and yes, I'm still obsessed with the way you
write. With just so much feel and emotion... its crazy. Good crazy.
I could swear to you I could feel and imagine every single thing
that just happened was happening to me.. that's how powerful
your words are. :)

Gonna try to go read another chapter...

pixxehh.v                   (User #6514) N/A 01/24/2010 11:44:36pm

I hate you.
Yet, I love you.
I cried again. I have absolutely no idea how you did it, but you made me cry again.
I only wish I could invoke these heart wrenching emotions with my writing.
Okay, Zack is starting to understand. Good.
LOL at the living room scene.
I want this to be made into a movie just to see this chapter be acted out.
Like, seriously, it was the epitome of amazing.
You had everything, you had the highs and the lows. You had the funny and the sad. You had the heart breaking and the heart warming.
I hate reviewing after SamanthaA7X, because she always says everything better.
I guess that is what I get for not reading and reviewing in forever.
Oh, this review was a ninja too, but has now decided to reveal itself :)

V. Nicole                   (User #8301) N/A 01/24/2010 02:05:22am

Your writing is amazing! Every chapter in this story are fucking insane but this one just blew me away. My favorite part was definitley when they were in the living room! It was like reading a storyline to a movie, I was laughing and imagining everything happening. Awesome way to get your ideas into the minds of readers. Wonderful job, keep up the amazing work :)

Samantha A7X                   (User #8125) N/A 01/22/2010 10:51:40pm

Okay... I totally and absolutely understand why this chapter means so much
to you. It's EPIC. Your writing is always impeccable and perfect, but in this
chapter, you took the whole writing thing to a totally different level... Every
word, every phrase, every thought, every situation gets under your skin...

I'm personally not a big fan of Madonna, but I have to admit, that song really
moved me... and it WAS perfect for the beach moment...

I LOVED the metaphor you displayed with the autumn-winter thing... it gave
me chills. So well written, and so perfect for what she was feeling, and of
course it is even more perfect for the fact that this book is called WINTER
and only now I came to realize that the present season of the story is, in
fact, winter. You connect every little detail of this story so astonishingly well
that I still don't understand why you don't try to write for a living...

The living room scene... GOD! It made me so happy... seeing poor Zacky all
pissed and jealous hahahaha the "torturing the space bar" thing was just
hilarious... And then Jimmy story with Leana... That was a crazy one
hahahaha I loved it, though. Your imagination is out of control lol

I literally gritted my teeth when Zack told Ana "Oh, well. Whatever makes
you happy, dude." WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE THINKING?! He's not fooling
anyone, we know you care Zee lol. Dumbass. I HATED him when he said
that. But then I forgave him when he went to Ana's room, all hesitant and
nervous to tell her he's jealous... Sooooo cute!! *giggles*

The last paragraphs were just... WOW. The perfect ending for this chapter.

Total and absolute AWESOMENESS. For real. Can't wait for you to update

LEADSAILSpaperanchor                   (User #8343) N/A 01/21/2010 11:44:14pm

Let me just say I absolutely loved this chapter. That last
few paragraphs ripped my heart out a sewed it back together.
Amazing. Sorry I can't give you as long of an update as you
gave me the other day .. I'm at a total loss for words. Can't
wait for you to update :)

stumplover89                   (User #6833) N/A 01/21/2010 07:25:51pm

Ok so what happened is I didn't finish reading the chapter and kinda forgot to finish reading it before I reviewed making my review not make sense. I do not wanna smack Zacky anymore. But even though I'm happy he's starting to get his feeling out there, I wish he wasn't so confusing. Lol.
Damn him and his cuteness.
Perfect chapter, made me so happy.
Update soon

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