Wow. This is really good!
There are some grammar, spelling, and spacing errors, but that's nothing a bit of re-reading, taking your time writing, and a spelling/grammar check can fix.
Other than those few things, this is great! The plot's very intersting, and I hope you continue this!
Ryan & Brendon make such a cool team! *can totally picture them going all James Bond-esque* xD
Nice job. Update soon!